Aligaitor
Three weeks later, my ankle is still giving me grief. It is my own fault. Just as it starts to feel good again, I push it and run. Then I’m back to square one. I’m finally attempting to have a doctor look at it by requesting an appointment at a place called The Running Institute.
Training for the half marathon has been one of the hardest things I have ever done. I’m not sure how athletes do the full year after year. My confidence is regularly broken and restored at random moments. Just as my runs get stronger and I begin to feel like maybe I’m a real runner and not just someone moonlighting as one, something like the sun in my face bonks me out of even achieving two miles and my self-esteem is shaken. Lo and behold, every time I get up to long, long runs, something happens, like an ankle injury, and I have to scale back. For every moment that I’m proud of my accomplishments, there is another in which I’m left feeling confused and anxious and shaken.
I finally had a nightmare about it. The race began. I started running and couldn’t even complete a mile before having to stop. There was a person in a gorilla costume chasing me, and repeatedly had to get corralled into the starting gate over and over until finally the race ended before I got started. Now more than ever it is so important to me that I finish this race.
Supposedly this place pays careful attention to injuries obtained (achieved, even?) by trainees. They study your gait. Talk to you about your training process, how many days you run a week, hours, longest mile, goals, etc. I’m intimidated at the thought of going. In a weird way, I feel like a poser. But after having spent nearly $1,000 to do this race and a multitude of hours running it would be senseless to let this stop me.
Despite my setbacks, I’m a better runner than I anticipated. I downloaded a running app that measures your average speed, tracks your trail via GPS, and lets you record various stats about your run: mood, terrain, weather, and notes about your run. Due to my ankle, I’ve had to walk during some of my runs. Despite this, I clocked a 9 minute pace. WITH WALKING! Wow. That’s better than I thought.
Last week I was able to run two 7 minute miles back to back.
I know I can do this. I just need to get this ankle healthy again or have someone guide me as to what to do about it. If training for this has taught me anything it’s that being fearless isn’t the absence of fear, but pushing through the doubt despite yourself.
Training for the half marathon has been one of the hardest things I have ever done. I’m not sure how athletes do the full year after year. My confidence is regularly broken and restored at random moments. Just as my runs get stronger and I begin to feel like maybe I’m a real runner and not just someone moonlighting as one, something like the sun in my face bonks me out of even achieving two miles and my self-esteem is shaken. Lo and behold, every time I get up to long, long runs, something happens, like an ankle injury, and I have to scale back. For every moment that I’m proud of my accomplishments, there is another in which I’m left feeling confused and anxious and shaken.
I finally had a nightmare about it. The race began. I started running and couldn’t even complete a mile before having to stop. There was a person in a gorilla costume chasing me, and repeatedly had to get corralled into the starting gate over and over until finally the race ended before I got started. Now more than ever it is so important to me that I finish this race.
Supposedly this place pays careful attention to injuries obtained (achieved, even?) by trainees. They study your gait. Talk to you about your training process, how many days you run a week, hours, longest mile, goals, etc. I’m intimidated at the thought of going. In a weird way, I feel like a poser. But after having spent nearly $1,000 to do this race and a multitude of hours running it would be senseless to let this stop me.
Despite my setbacks, I’m a better runner than I anticipated. I downloaded a running app that measures your average speed, tracks your trail via GPS, and lets you record various stats about your run: mood, terrain, weather, and notes about your run. Due to my ankle, I’ve had to walk during some of my runs. Despite this, I clocked a 9 minute pace. WITH WALKING! Wow. That’s better than I thought.
Last week I was able to run two 7 minute miles back to back.
I know I can do this. I just need to get this ankle healthy again or have someone guide me as to what to do about it. If training for this has taught me anything it’s that being fearless isn’t the absence of fear, but pushing through the doubt despite yourself.