(for sleepydanceur) nivālis
For: sleepydanceur
Title: nivālis
Pairing: Jongin/Xiumin
Word Count: ~9,000 words
Rating: R
Warnings:: slight age gap
Summary: Getting his inspiration back was hard, but falling for Minseok was almost ridiculously easy.
Author's Note: Dear sleepydanceur, this story was actually supposed to be a lot longer, but due to my lacking time-management skills I had to end it sooner than planned. I'm still determined to post the full story once I have time to finish it, so if you're interested I'd be happy to send you a link when it's done. I hope you'll still enjoy the shorter version. Special thanks to my cheering-squad and squad leader A, thank you so much for giving me the push I needed. Love you lots! ♡
Packed snow crunched under the soles of Jongin’s clearly insufficient Onitsuka Tiger sneakers, as he got out of the backseat of the cab he had taken from the airport. The air around him was bitingly cold despite the blue sky and sunny weather, so he pulled the lapels of his jacket tighter around him with a little shiver, watching the cab driver open the trunk of the car and start unloading Jongin’s luggage. He was lunging forward and taking the guitar case from the man, before he had completely lifted it out of the trunk, but despite a quick startled glance, the cab driver didn’t comment on it.
Jongin had actually planned to leave the guitar in his apartment in Seoul, but in the end he just hadn’t been able to do it. There hadn’t been a day in the last three years the instrument hadn’t been at his side and the thought of being without his constant companion for two whole weeks was terrifying beyond imagination. So he had taken the guitar with him - even knowing that it probably wouldn’t make a difference - and hoped the change of scene might help with his utter lack of inspiration at the moment.
After paying the taxi driver a bloody fortune for the hour-long drive, Jongin shouldered his bag and instrument and started marching across the small parking lot towards the hotel, strides long, but careful on the icy ground. It was a small, completely unremarkable looking house and exactly what Jongin had wanted. Slightly away from the next town and surrounded by nothing, but mountains, forests and hills covered in thick layers of snow, he knew it would be the exact opposite of the colorful and hectic bustle of Seoul.
Getting his room turned out to be a bit of a challenge, with the elderly couple owning the hotel clearly not fluent in English, but after a painful exchange of heavily-accented English on both their parts, Jongin was finally shown to his room. It was as unremarkable as the outside of the house, but cozy and clean. Jongin didn’t need more than that.
His luggage was unpacked within minutes and it was only when he threw the - at best - haphazardly folded bag into his wooden closet and turned around to face the tiny room again that Jongin realized he actually had no idea what to do next. He hadn’t thought that far ahead yet. True to his sometimes too impulsive character he had acted with very little to no planning at all, going with his gut and deciding he would figure things out once he arrived. But as he now stared at the meticulously made bed - doing his best to ignore the slow creep of exhaustion - he felt a familiar anxiousness rising up from his chest. Jongin tried to keep his gaze away from the guitar leaning against the foot of the bed, but like a puppet on a string his head turned until his gaze settled on the black case.
Seconds later he was sitting at the edge of the bed, guitar braced against his thighs and fingers resting on the mute strings. He just couldn’t help it. Every time he tried again, he couldn’t help but hope. Maybe it would work. Maybe this time the feeling would be back. Closing his eyes and drawing in a deep breath through his nose, Jongin waited for a single heartbeat, forced his trembling hand to still and then he played. He waited for the flare of pleasure - excitement - as he let instinct take over. The pressure of the strings under his left hand’s fingers was familiar, the rasp over skin as he slid them down the neck of his guitar something he had always taken comfort in, while the clear sound of the notes chased away the silence around him. But several seconds into the song he was still waiting for the usual bubbling of joy he felt whenever he spent time doing the only thing he had ever truly loved and he cut off the melody with a vicious curse caught in the back of his throat.
The fear came rushing back as he put down the guitar on the bed behind him with care, gaze fixed stubbornly ahead so he didn’t have to look at the beloved and cursed instrument. Of course it hadn’t worked. Of course it was still the same. Why should things change that easily, just because he had dragged his sorry ass to a different continent? Jongin knew perfectly well that running away from his problems didn’t actually make them go away, was simply a way to put off the inevitable. But that didn’t keep the hollow feeling of disappointment in his stomach from sharpening into something infinitely more painful.
He knew that his current mindset wasn’t going to help things change. Jongin was blocking himself, putting unnecessary pressure on himself, but knowing it and actually feeling it were two entirely different things.
He needed his music. Music had been the only thing he had ever been truly good at, the only thing that had never let him down. Jongin had no idea who he even was without the constant, comforting presence of it in his life, wasn’t sure if he actually wanted to know.
Pushing up from the bed he slipped back into his jacket, grabbed his phone from the bedside table and all but lunged for the door. He wasn’t even sure where he was headed, but what he knew was that he wanted to - had to - get out. Jongin had barely locked the door behind him, to head back downstairs when the phone in his hand started vibrating insistently. He had a very good idea who it was, even before he tipped down his head to take a quick glance at his caller ID. Despite everything the smile tugging at his lips came easily and it was with a wave of relief that he swiped his thumb over the screen to take the call.
“Hey, Luhan.”
“Great, you survived the flight. Are you feeling inspired yet?”
The typical sardonic undertone of his friend’s voice, was as distinctive over the phone as it was face to face and even though Jongin couldn’t see the wry curve of Luhan’s smile, he could picture it perfectly in his mind. He had been on the receiving end of it often enough in the past four years.
“It’s not the flight you should have worried about, but the way to the hotel. There’s snow and ice on the roads, it looks a bit like the Antarctic, just with more trees and civilization, but the cab driver sped as if it’s was a balmy spring day with perfect road conditions. The last time I’ve been that scared was when we got Chanyeol drunk and he discovered his fascination with fire.”
“They do say that fear can lead to some really interesting bodily and psychological reactions, so are you feeling inspired yet?” Luhan repeated, voice still low, but noticeably more insistent. From the lack of background noises Jongin deduced that it was one of the rare Friday nights the lead singer of their band had decided to stay at home at the apartment he shared with their drummer Chanyeol.
“I just arrived.”
“So what? Sehun’s been talking my ear off ever since you left because he’s worried about you and the band. For the sake of my sanity you better work out whatever it is that’s bothering you. That kid is driving me crazy.”
“Right, as if you actually mind.” Everyone knew that Luhan had the softest of spots for their young and entirely too energetic keyboarder. “He thinks you’re the most amazing person on the planet. He basically worships the earth you walk on and you love every second of it. So don’t act as if it’s such a burden. I bet you bought him coffee, told him that you’d take care of everything and he stopped worrying right away.”
There were several beats of crackling silence that had Jongin almost checking if he lost his very unstable connection, before Luhan spoke up again.
“It’s only right that he thinks I’m amazing. We all know it’s the truth and the kid should learn. But I think you underestimate how worried Sehun actually is. I had to buy him coffee and dinner before he stopped whining. And somehow Chanyeol wormed his way into eating with us as well, and you know how much those two can eat! It’ll be a miracle if I can come up with the rent for our rehearsal room this moth!”
The overdramatic lilt in his voice, accent growing thicker and more noticeable for a moment, had a grin spreading across Jongin’s face as he crossed the cozy reception area of the hotel, knowing perfectly well that it was just Luhan’s weird way of making sure Jongin was alright. His oldest friend mostly refused to admit to any kind of actual feelings, preferring to bury them under a thick layer of sarcasm. He made sure no one ever noticed he was worrying, leave alone caring for someone, but they had all seen through that a while ago. Luhan was probably just as worried as their youngest band member.
Jongin really wished he could offer his friend some true reassurance.
“Tell Sehun to stop worrying. I’m fine and I’ll be back in two weeks. Hopefully with a truckload of new songs in tow.”
He worked hard not to let the tendrils of uneasiness and doubt bleed into his voice, kept it purposefully light, and judging by the soft chuckle in his ear he was more successful than expected. He had never been good at telling lies or hiding his feelings, but Jongin guessed he had the advantage of being an entire continent away. Luhan’s eerie ability to read the younger man was definitely thwarted by the fact that he wasn’t able to take a good look at Jongin’s way too revealing face. So when he pushed open the door and stepped back outside, cold air driving out the lingering tiredness immediately, he knew that he had fooled Luhan to the best of his ability.
The collision came literally out of nowhere - at least as far as Jongin and his wayward attention were concerned. With his gaze directed downwards, as he realized that he had once again forgotten to change into sturdier shoes, he only noticed the person standing directly in his path by the time it was already too late to stop. The next second Jongin bumped into a turned back and suddenly had his arms full of someone flailing wildly as he watched his phone fly away in a rather impressive arc, too stunned to let the waiting curse slip over his lips.
His first thought was small and soft and by the time both of them regained their balance on the icy ground, Jongin was already busy trying to word his apology.
“Sorry, I didn’t look! Are you alright?”
Letting go of the person and hoping his English had at least been halfway understandable, he carefully helped the person turn around, eager to see if he had done any damage during their less than gentle collision. The sight that greeted him had him blinking in surprise. The man - at least he thought it was a man - was bundled up in a thick green jacket, fluffy hat pulled down over his ears and scarf covering most of his face, until only his eyes were visible. Dark, almond-shaped eyes that were staring up at him with something that - luckily - seemed to be more shock than anger.
“I’m alright.”
The unexpected sound of his mother-tongue, spoken in a muffled and slightly winded-sounding voice that seemed to fit the shorter frame perfectly, had Jongin blinking up dumbly again, before his gaze dropped down to the camera tightly clutched in the man’s gloved hands.
“I’m so sorry, is your camera alright as well?”
Jongin didn’t know the first thing about cameras, perfectly content to take all the photos he wanted with his phone, but it looked shiny and expensive and the young man found himself a second away from praying.
“Yes, it’s fine. Nothing happened.”
Jongin’s sigh of relief was short-lived, as another glance at the camera sparked the memory of his own phone sailing through the air. Whirling around with a sound of distress, barely biting down on another curse, he ran to where his phone had landed face down on the packed snow and snatched it up with a feeling of hopeful dread.
His sigh, when he took in the miraculously undamaged and still lit-up screen of his phone was almost embarrassingly loud. That was when he realized he was still connected to Luhan and hastily pressed the phone to his ear after wiping off the melted snow and few flecks of dirt. Just in time to have his friend yell an agitated “Jongin!” right into his ear. His shoulders jerked with a full-body wince and he barely kept himself from yanking the phone away from his ringing ear. Good lord, Luhan definitely was their lead vocal for a reason.
“I’m here. I’m here. Sorry, I dropped you when I ran into someone - literally. I’m alright, though.”
“Jeez, maybe Sehun is right after all. Maybe we should all be a bit more worried about you all alone on the other side of the planet. Try not to get yourself killed, would you? Finding another guitarist would be such a hassle.”
Luhan’s voice was slightly peeved, but noticeably relieved and Jongin would feel bad for scaring him like that if it hadn’t been for the distraction of someone hunkering down right next to him.
“Sorry, Lu. I gotta go now. I’ll call and check in soon. And tell Sehun not to be too much of a brat.”
“Fat chance.” This time the older man’s voice sounded almost comically resigned. “Take care.”
Ending the call Jongin turned his head to the side and found himself looking directly into the curious eyes of his ‘victim’ from a few moments ago, most of his face revealed, now that he had pulled down his scarf. The man looked young, maybe a few years older than Jongin, with slanted, inquisitive eyes, full red cheeks - probably from the cold - and lips that captured Jongin’s attention a bit too thoroughly. He was downright grateful for the way the man’s words cut off his obvious staring a few seconds into semi-dangerous territory.
“Is your phone okay?”
Without the fluffy fabric covering his mouth his voice sounded almost… mischievous. In a soft way Jongin wasn’t quite sure how else to describe. All he knew was that he liked it - a lot - unconsciously leaning closer, before he caught himself and reluctantly pulled back again, feeling his ears blush in a way that had nothing to do with the freezing temperatures.
“I think so. I looks fine,” he mumbled into his collar and kept his gaze purposefully focused on the phone in his cold hands.
They both got to their feet, where Jongin immediately lowered his head and shoulders in a light bow.
“Sorry again for running into you. I wasn’t paying attention. I… I do that sometimes, but I’m working on it.”
Cutting himself off when he realized he was starting to ramble, Jongin chanced another glance at the shorter man and met his direct stare, unexpectedly intense in comparison to his unthreatening stature and gentle voice.
“No harm, no foul. Don’t worry about it. I’m wearing enough layers, so it cushioned the impact quite nicely. And since nothing happened to my camera I’ll let you live.”
The words had Jongin’s eyes going wide with temporary shock, before he decided to take them as a joke - despite the complete lack of humor in the man’s eyes.
“I’m… glad to hear that,” Jongin announced with a slightly pained grin at the continued absence of a smile on the other’s face, shifting his weight unconsciously from one foot to the other. The man kept on staring at him, the urge to squirm under the close scrutiny almost too strong to resist. Just as Jongin was about to give up and pull his shoulders up in a purely defensive move, he got a curt nod and was suddenly looking the man’s retreating back, who walked the few steps to the hotel and disappeared inside.
Nonplussed by the abrupt and wordless farewell, Jongin remained rooted to his spot, staring at the closed door before an icy gust of wind yanked him out of his puzzled musings. He resumed walking, deciding to explore the vicinity and hoping the fresh air would dissipate some of the persistent exhaustion, but Jongin still felt entirely too unsettled by the short encounter. The man had gone from drawing him in to intimidating the hell out of him in under ten seconds and Jongin wasn’t quite sure what to make of that. Didn’t knowif he should make something of it in the first place. Yes, judging by the fact that they had run into each other here, they were very likely staying in the same hotel, but that didn’t have to mean anything. Jongin should just write the incident off and focus on getting his own shit together. He really didn’t have the time to worry about this as well. Or the confusing, fleeting urge to follow the man back into the hotel.
Jongin really needed to ignore all that and do himself a favor by paying attention to where he was walking on the icy path beneath his poorly lacking sneakers.
By the time he returned to his hotel room he had almost gotten lost twice, his feet were wet and freezing and he was seriously starting to get worried about frostbite, as he had lost all feeling in his fingers, ears and nose a while ago. Just to be sure he wasn’t going to lose any bodyparts, Jongin took the longest shower of his life, mourning his own shower back in Seoul as he stood under the - almost - trickling jet of water and cursed the pins and needles in his thawing limbs.
Pulling on fresh clothes and throwing a quick glance at the screen of his phone, after he emerged from the steam-filled bathroom, he felt his spirits lift considerably when he realized it was late enough to head for dinner. He was pretty sure his stomach would have purred in satisfaction if it wasn’t so busy growling at him, so he hurried downstairs with quite more enthusiasm than before and stepped into the cozy dinner room where meals were served. The smell that greeted him as he pushed through the door had his mouth watering in delight, but two steps into the room the sight of a familiar someone had him drawing up short. At the table directly opposite the wooden bar sat the man Jongin had almost bowled over in the parking lot, the same man that was looking up with a start now, as if he could feel Jongin’s surprised gaze on him. Other than the slight widening of those intriguing eyes the man showed no outwardly reaction and Jongin was suddenly hit with powerful indecision.
He couldn’t just keep on standing in the middle of the door and continue his staring, as the elderly woman behind the bar was already giving him curious glances, but nothing about the man’s posture spelled invitation. In fact it was completely impossible to read the closed-off expression on his attractive face. Nevertheless Jongin couldn’t help but feel that sitting down at another table without at least greeting the other man would be just plain rude. He tried to convince himself he wasn’t using this as an excuse to talk to the shorter man again, but found it quite difficult to believe himself.
In the end he went with his gut feeling and headed straight for the occupied table - not quite sure what to make of the unchanging expression on the almost-stranger’s face. Jongin told himself it was at least better than a glare or outright rejection.
Now that he was wearing less, Jongin was finally able to get a decent look at him and with a little jolt of surprise - and something else the young guitarist didn’t want to contemplate too closely - he realized that he looked rather fit, despite the lacking height. His gray cardigan draped appealingly over unexpectedly broad shoulders, sleeves rolled up to reveal long, sinewy forearms and a second later Jongin’s gaze zeroed in on the sharp collarbones peeking out over the collar of his tshirt. Suddenly it was a lot more complicated to ignore the tightness of his throat and slow burn in his chest. For some reason, without knowing anything about him, Jongin found himself undeniably drawn to the man, no matter how little sense it made or how different he was from Jongin’s usual type.
“Can I join you?”
The words were slipping over Jongin’s lips the second he reached the table and despite the fact that Jongin had no idea where they had come from, had actually just wanted to apologize again before looking for his own table, he took it in stride. He had always had the habit of talking first and thinking later, so for the sake of his own sanity he had learned to go with whatever situation he found himself in.
Jongin’s words had the other man raising one arched eyebrow, clearly expecting the words as little as Jongin had and the small gesture had untypical shyness washing over him. He simply didn’t get nervous, not when it came to talking to people. It was what he was good at, something that came to him almost effortlessly, but something about the other man’s piercing gaze had him feeling unusually intimidated. A moment later though, he got a barely discernible nod and his nerves disappeared under the wave of giddy triumph. The permission almost felt like a personal victory and with a sunny smile he let himself drop down on the chair opposite the man.
“Thanks! I’m not gonna lie, I’m actually really relieved I ran into you earlier. Travelling is nice, but the whole communication difficulties are a bit of a downer. It feels good to be able to speak Korean. I really didn’t expect to miss it already. It hasn’t even been a full day since I left Seoul.” He was well aware of his rambling, it was simply another thing he had the habit of doing, so he didn’t even bother with trying to stop the flood of words. Always better than awkward silences, he told himself, especially since the other man didn’t seem like a sparkling conversationalist. “I’m Jongin, by the way. I wanted to apologize again for not paying attention earlier. I’m glad you and your camera are okay.”
If he was intimidated by the flood of words the man didn’t show it, but neither did he seem inclined to reciprocate.
“Kim Minseok. And like I said, it’s fine.” That was all he said before the shorter of the two went back to his silent appraisal of Jongin.
Thought so.
Before he could launch another barrage of words though, he suddenly found a menu shoved into his hands from his right, head jerking up in surprise and meeting the female owner’s smile.
“What would you like to drink?”
Her English was as accented and difficult to understand as before, despite the fact that the words were obviously rehearsed. To avoid a repeat performance of their complicated ‘dance’ during his check-in, Jongin decided to go with the safest choice.
“Water, please.”
The woman disappeared with a small nod and Jongin turned to his menu with a mix of curiosity and dread. Opening it, he let his gaze travel over the first page and found his biggest worry confirmed at once - he didn’t understand a single thing. From what he could tell the entire menu was written in German - or something he at least suspected was German - leaving him without a single clue what to do next. He was just about to turn to Minseok for some desperately needed help, when the older lady returned with his water and gave him a terrifyingly expectant look.
“Did you choose?”
Put to the spot like that, he found himself a second away from testing his luck and simply pointing at a random dish on the menu, when he raised his eyes over the menu for a quick peek at Minseok and noticed the dish on the table in front of the man. It looked a bit like the Mac and Cheese he had seen so often on American TV and with clearly misplaced satisfaction he congratulated himself on his dumb luck.
Good enough.
“I want the same as him. Thank you.”
With his order wrapped up, he handed his menu back to the ‘terrifying lady’ - as he had secretly dubbed her in his head - and watched her disappear behind the counter and into what appeared to be the kitchen with something close to crushing relief. If he had known how difficult the simple procedure of getting food would turn out to be, he would have just travelled to Jeju, or maybe chosen a more foreigner-oriented hotel instead.
But another glance at Minseok at the heels of that thought had him taking back the sentiment before it had time to fester.
His lips were as unmoving and relaxed as before, but something about the look in those cat-like eyes had Jongin thinking that the shorter guy was on the verge of smiling at him. He was wholly unprepared for the longing spreading through him in slow ripples from behind his ribs. Jongin wanted to see Minseok smile, wanted to discover the changes it would bring to that too-serious face.
“Are you laughing at me?”
The barely noticeable flash of an emotion Jongin could swear was surprise in Minseok’s dark eyes had Jongin moving forward in his seat without the conscious decision to do so.
“Of course not.”
Jongin wasn’t convinced. Not when, barely a second after Minseok’s calm denial, he could actually see the corner of the other man’s mouth twitching, as if he was having the most challenging time keeping himself form outright laughing in Jongin’s face.
“You’re lying!”
Something very close to pure indignation rang in Jongin’s voice as he pointed an accusing finger at Minseok and with a very confusing mix of embarrassment and delight he watched a fleeting grin flash across the other’s face. For a second Jongin forgot all about his outrage and watched Minseok’s face relax, eyes crinkle and cheeks bunch up. He felt one second away from doing something completely reckless and stupid - like reach out and pinch those adorable globes.
Jongin knew the man across from him was still holding back, wasn’t letting his guard down completely, but that didn’t even seem to matter. Despite the controlled smile the tall man felt almost mesmerized, barely keeping himself from just sitting there and staring.
“That’s just mean.”
The whine that accompanied the scowling complaint had Minseok giving a quiet scoff, face softening by another degree and Jongin felt strangely accomplished.
“If it makes you feel any better, I’m mostly laughing because you reminded me of myself on my first day here. I just randomly pointed at something on the menu and hoped for the best.”
“And what did you get?”
Another brief flash of emotion - this time a lot less pleasant - and Jongin was all but falling off the edge of his seat from making sure he didn’t miss any of it.
“Let’s not talk about that.”
Jongin simply couldn’t help himself, the pure horror in Minseok’s voice and pinched expression on his face were just too priceless, and with a hearty chuckle he threw his head back and laughed until his stomach started aching. He knew it wasn’t the most considerate thing to do - just a few moments ago he had had complained about Minseok making fun of him - but exceptional tact had never ranked among his strengths. Neither had controlling his emotions. Maybe that was one of the reasons he felt this unescapably drawn to the closed-off man in front of him.
He expected a glare a glare from Minseok by the time he got himself under control again, maybe a pout - even though it seemed entirely out of character. Instead he found Minseok staring at him with an intensity that got the last chuckle stuck in Jongin’s suddenly tight throat, electric jolt going through his body at the close regard. He blindly reached for his glass, unable to tear his gaze away from the other man, and hoped the water would help with the dryness of his mouth.
“I’ve been a professional photographer for five years now. It’s not quite as exciting as it sounds,” Minseok quickly amended in response to Jongin’s eyes widening in amazement. “A lot of it are just commissions that pay the bills, but I still love it. And it’s easier, now that I’ve made a name for myself in the business.”
“Five years, huh? Wow… you must have gotten started really early.”
“I’ve been into photography since I was a teenager, but I only made a job out of it with twenty-four, after I realized that I simply wasn’t made to become a lawyer like my parents always wanted.”
It took Jongin several seconds to realize what that meant.
“Twenty-four? But… that’d make you twenty-nine! You can’t be six years older than me!”
Minseok’s grimace told Jongin that he was lacking some serious tact and being entirely too blunt again, so he pulled himself back from where he had leant forward over the table and cleared his throat with the little bit of ruefulness he could muster up.
“Sorry. I tend to blurt things out without thinking them through first. What I meant to say was that you look a lot younger. I honestly thought you’d be around my age.”
The elder’s face was - once again - almost expressionless, eyes boring straight into him, and Jongin felt himself shrink slightly into his seat, convinced he had finally managed to insult the other man with his damned loose tongue. He was ready to apologize for the umpteenth time that day, about to open his mouth and pray he wouldn’t make an ass out of himself again, when suddenly the other’s half-smile returned, actually more relaxed than it had been before.
“I get that a lot.”
Jongin was so relieved, he all but melted in his seat.
“Not a day goes by without my best friend making at least one semi-insulting remark about my ‘baby-face’, so believe me, I’ve heard it all.”
The younger man was only too eager to take the offered out and change the topic, before he somehow managed to put his other foot in his mouth as well.
“So are you here on vacation or because of your job?”
“Both. I originally came here for a photoshoot with Kim Hojun. He-“
“Wait! Snowboarder Kim Hojun?!”
“Yes,” Minseok replied, expression patiently amused at Jongin’s child-like excitement. “He’s in Switzerland for a competition and after I finished my job I decided to stay a few days longer. I like it here. It’s… quiet.”
Jongin thought he could probably watch Minseok all day, keep track of the minute changes in his expression and never tire of it. Right then his face looked almost peaceful, lashes coming down slowly as he let his gaze wander through the room. Jongin was so focused on the little movements of his brows, he didn’t even notice the question directed at him.
“Jongin?”
Wrenching his gaze away from Minseok’s mouth - he hadn’t even noticed his focus travelling downwards - Jongin forced his attention back to the conversation at hand, dazed mind scrambling to catch up.
“I’m sorry. What?”
“I asked why you came here.”
“Oh, right…” He wanted to slap himself. That one time Minseok contributed to the conversation without Jongin’s prodding and he missed it because he was too busy ogling the other’s mouth. He really needed to work on his ability to concentrate. It didn’t matter that it was a really great mouth, or that it was entirely too tempting to think about all the things he’d like to do to it. Their first real conversation definitely wasn’t the time and place for such thoughts. “I’m here on vacation. Just trying to, you know, get a break from stuff.”
For a second his mind tugged him in the direction of his guitar, still lying face-down on his bed, but for once the cloying anxiety wasn’t strong enough to push to the forefront of his mind. Not when he had the most intriguing kind of puzzle sitting right in front of him, eyebrow raised almost challengingly.
“So why Switzerland?”
“I didn’t give it that much thought, to be honest. It just sounded like it’d be different from Korea and Seoul.”
“Fair enough.”
Jongin’s food arrived soon afterwards and he was happy to discover that it tasted even better than it smelled. Minseok had watched him take a cautious first bite, looking a second away from laughing at Jongin again, and the younger man had been caught between the explosion of flavors on his tongue and slow shifting of warmth in his chest.
It was over an hour later, with their plates long cleared off the table and Minseok a lot more relaxed about answering the endless stream of Jongin’s questions, that he finally gave in to the exhaustion of his long and eventful day. He had fought it, hid it as best as he could, but eventually Minseok had noticed the redness of his eyes, drooping eyelids and constant struggle to keep from yawning.
“How long have you been awake?”
“Uhm…”
Another raise of those surprisingly expressive eyebrows - this time almost threatening - and Jongin caved like a house of cards.
“About twenty hours?”
With that he found himself herded quite forcefully to his room, keys pried out of his uncooperative fingers and a second later, with nothing but a gentle, but firm “Get some sleep, Jongin” he had his own door slammed in his face from the outside. A minute later he was still standing there, grinning stupidly at the way his name had sounded coming from Minseok’s mouth.
“W-what the fuck?”
“It’s me.”
“Jongin? What the heck? It’s ass o’clock in the morning. This better be important or I’m disowning you.”
Chanyeol’s deep voice sounded rough like sand paper, somehow managing to go even lower as he cursed Jongin over the phone. Jongin would have felt sorry for waking him, if it weren’t for the fact that he was simply too agitated and distracted to focus on anything but the person he had just had dinner with.
“Hyung…”
A few short beats of silence.
“Oh my God, it is important. You haven’t called me ‘hyung’ since… never mind, I can’t even remember the last time you called me that. Brat.”
That last part was added as if on afterthought, no real bite in Chanyeol’s voice, and Jongin felt the smile on his face grow impossibly wider.
“I would have called Luhan, he’s probably still awake anyway, but I know he would have just hung up on me. After laughing his ass off, that is.”
There was the rustle of fabric in the background, as if Chanyeol was shifting around to get more comfortable on his bed, before his sleep-roughened voice was back in Jongin’s ear.
“What is it? Tell big brother Chanyeol all about it.”
Deciding not to comment on how creepy his friend was being again, Jongin hesitated for maybe two seconds, before he just let the words tumble from his mouth.
“If I - technically - fall in serious like and fascination with someone at first sight, what am I supposed to do?”
Another pause, with nothing but the sound of Chanyeol’s quiet breathing on the line.
“Like? Not love at first sight?”
“Hyung, you know just as well as I do that you can’t actually fall in love with someone without knowing him or her. That’s just plain stupid.”
“My Jonginnie is such a romantic.”
Chanyeol’s laughter was loud in Jongin’s ear and despite the instinctive urge to yank the phone away to save his precious hearing, the familiar sound was strangely soothing.
“So what am I supposed to do?”
“Try to get to know him better. I’m assuming it’s a guy, since we’re talking about you here.”
“But what if said guy is going to leave tomorrow?”
“Get to know him quickly?”
“That’s what I thought.”
With Chanyeol’s semi-helpful advice still ringing in his mind, Jongin headed down for breakfast well-rested, but mind occupied the next morning. He couldn’t quite stifle his disappointment when he realized that Minseok wasn’t there, but the sight and smell of breakfast managed to restore some of his good mood again. Heading straight for the buffet and piling his plate with as much food as he thought he could get away with, Jongin settled down at the table he had shared with Minseok the evening before.
He wasn’t sure if it was just the fact that the nine, uninterrupted hours of sleep had him feeling like himself for the first time since he had arrived here or if the food was just that good, but Jongin hadn’t eaten with that much enjoyment in quite a while. Of course it could have been the small victory of letting the ‘terrifying lady’ know he wanted hot chocolate instead of coffee or tea, as well.
It was in the middle of his second serving that Jongin looked up at the sound of the door opening and discovered Minseok stepping into the room. He was bundled up like the day before, with nothing but his eyes visible, and the sight was enough to have Jongin biting down on a barely there coo. Twenty-nine year olds shouldn’t be allowed to look that adorable. Ever. It just wasn’t fair.
Barely a moment later Minseok looked up to have their eyes meeting across the room. Jongin felt it like a physical contact, electricity sizzling down his spine in a way that was damned inconvenient for a public setting like theirs. He watched the older man freeze, eyes going wide, but after a second he started moving again, heading right towards him and Jongin viewed the hesitant, but direct approach - as if Minseok was warring with himself on the inside - as a personal victory. Slowly chewing on his food he waited until Minseok stopped beside his table and gave him a welcoming smile, but decided to let the other talk first.
“Did you sleep well?”
“Yeah, I’m as good as new.” A quick glance at the redness of Minseok’s cheeks and Jongin felt his curiosity spike anew. “Where you outside already?”
“Yes. Since it’s my last day here I thought I’d spend some of the remaining time taking a few more pictures for myself.”
For the first time since Jongin had met Minseok, there was a restless kind of energy around him and it made the older man look as if he was caught somewhere between wanting to sit down and turning around and walking away. With a sense of urgency kicking in, desperate to keep the other man around for a little bit longer, Jongin blurted out the first thing on his mind.
“Does that mean you already did all the other mandatory stuff?”
“Mandatory stuff?”
Even with the hat and scarf hiding most of Minseok’s face, Jongin could still see the confused frown. The older man clearly wasn’t used to not following along in a conversation. Dissatisfaction was rolling off him in waves and the younger of the two was almost tempted to keep him in the dark for a bit longer, just to see how he would react.
This bottomless curiosity where the man in front of him was concerned would undoubtedly get him into a whole lot of trouble at one point or another. It was really just a matter of time.
“Yeah, you know… build a snowman or snow fort, make a snow angel, ride a sled, be in a snow fight… stuff like that.”
Minseok was looking at him as if he had just sprouted a second head, narrowed eyes blinking down at him in disbelief, and for some reason Jongin felt his lips twitch with the beginnings of a happy smile. He was probably losing his mind, all that clean, fresh mountain air clearly getting to his head.
“When does your flight leave?”
Surprisingly the elder didn’t even blink at the sudden change of topics.
“Not until tonight. It’s a 10pm flight.”
“Great. Let’s go then!”
Jongin himself couldn’t believe his impromptu and very amateurish ‘ploy’ had actually worked on Minseok, but the older man had come along with very little protest. And now, after stowing Minseok’s luggage away in Jongin’s room, as he had already checked out of his own, they were standing in front of the hotel, dresses in their warmest clothes again and staring down at the wooden sled Jongin had somehow - miraculously - managed to borrow from their hosts.
“And you expect me to get on that?”
The utter disbelieve in Minseok’s voice was probably the most emotional reaction he had gotten from the older man so far. Which, of course, meant that Jongin couldn’t simply leave it at that.
“Actually, I want you to hike up that hillside with me,” the younger commented, pointing at the steep incline in front of them. “Then you can get on the sled.”
Minseok looked entirely unimpressed.
Their first try, to put it nicely, was a complete and utter bust. Instead of racing down the slope as expected, they inched their way forward, painfully slow, and got stuck in the deep, powdery snow a total of four times.
“This looked a lot more exciting on TV,” Jongin grumbled forlornly, staring up at the messy tracks they had left in the previously untouched snow, so it took him a while to notice the very determined expression on the older man’s face.
“Let’s try this again.”
‘Let’s try this again’ turned into five more times of hiking up the steep hillside, Minseok half shoving, half dragging a whining Jongin, but by their sixth attempt the snow of their tracks was packed hard enough to give them quite the impressive speed on the ride down. And Jongin finally had an acceptable excuse to cling to Minseok as he sat behind him on the sled.
“No one warned me that playing in the snow would be this exhausting.”
Jongin was well aware of the fact that he was whining again, but that just couldn’t be helped. He was sweaty and cold at the same time, his pants were caked with snow all the way up to his knees and he was so shamefully out of breath, he knew he should probably consider a few visits to the gym once he returned to Seoul.
“Maybe it’s time to make that snow angel now. Since you can lie down and rest for a bit that way.”
The overly nonchalant tone in Minseok’s voice should have definitely tipped him off, but for a second he was simply too distracted by the way he was batting his lashes at him. By the time suspicion crept in he was already falling backwards, tipped over by the push Minseok had given him a second ago and before he fully realized what was going on, he was already lying in the snow, sinking in several inches and blinking up at the older man leaning over him.
The older man that was currently smirking down at him, obviously very satisfied with himself.
Another expression.
That - hopeless, he was completely hopeless - was his first coherent thought, before disbelieve and indignation slowly settled in.
“You didn’t.”
“Oh, I did. What you’re gonna do about it.”
And that was how they checked ‘be in a snow fight’ off their list.
It wasn’t pretty, possibly the dirtiest battle in the history of snow fights, but by the time Minseok tackled Jongin to the ground to keep him from launching any more snowballs at him, they were laughing so hard, Jongin felt tears tickling down the sides of his face.
After finally his breath, Jongin turned his head to the side to look at Minseok and his own laughter cut off with an almost painful stab of wonder to his chest.
Minseok looked gorgeous, laughing so hard he was actually curling in on himself, clutching his stomach and stomping his feet in the powdery snow. Sometime during their fight he had apparently lost his hat, his hair was damp from sweat and the snow and a few strands were clinging to his forehead, with stray snowflakes melting rapidly on his flushed cheeks. Jongin was convinced he was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his life.
It actually took him a long while to realize Minseok was looking at him in return now, to notice that the older man’s laughter had died down, amusement quickly replaced by an infinitely darker, more volatile emotion. Minseok was definitely staring at his lips, own bottom lip clamped between his teeth and the urge to push himself upright, lean over and kiss away the conflicted expression on his face was so strong, he felt his entire body tense in anticipation.
And then suddenly Minseok was turning his head away, getting to his feet and brushing the snow off of him, looking everywhere but at Jongin.
“Let’s go build that snowman.”
It took the younger man several moments to get his bearings back, still caught up in the crackling tension of the last minute and left adrift by Minseok’s abrupt turn-about.
“And just so you know, if you even think about singing any ‘Frozen’ songs I will hurt you, kid.”
Kid.
They were completely frozen through by the time they stumbled up the stairs and into Jongin’s room two hours and a botched snowman-building-attempt later, failing spectacularly at holding back their laughter and dripping melted snow on the carpet and wooden floor. After a short, but rather intense discussion, the younger managed to convince Minseok to take a shower first and it was only a few minutes before the other man emerged from the bathroom again, fully dressed and toweling off his wet hair.
“Your turn.”
With the hot water trickling down on him, Jongin did his best to try to keep his thoughts away from Minseok naked and wet in the same spot he was in now, but he only had so much discipline and he ended up taking the exact opposite of his planned hot shower. Something that proved completely useless the second he returned outside.
Jongin’s feet felt rooted to the floor as he caught sight of Minseok sitting at the edge of his bed, legs splayed comfortably and forearms braced on his knees in a way that had the collar of his loose shirt gaping wide enough to have Jongin’s mouth going dust-dry in a second. Minseok hadn’t acknowledged him yet, was still focused on the screen of his phone, and it gave the younger man dangerously much time to stare at the maddening flashes of skin, the tense lines of his arms and the way his jeans clung to strong thighs he wanted to feel pressed up against his own. It was enough to have all of the previous want bubbling to the surface again.
Maybe he had made a sound, maybe Minseok simply felt the burn of Jongin’s eyes on him, but suddenly he was looking up, gaze travelling over Jongin’s exposed stomach and upper body, before he met his straight on. He almost expected to see sparks sizzling along the edges of his vision, see the nearly palpable tension rippling through the air, as Minseok’s eyes widened at the prolonged, utterly silent eye-contact.
Breathing became a challenge, the weight of his want pressing down on his chest, spreading hot in his gut and Jongin was helpless to do anything about it. For all of his impulsiveness and the reckless core of his personality he had never felt an instantaneous attraction like this before. He felt unprepared, exhilaratingly unable to handle it and with an almost giddy kind of relief he found himself abandoning all responsibility and reason.
Ordering his feet to move, he approached the man still watching him from his perch on the bed. He saw the wariness and confusion in his gaze, felt the powerful pull and took note of the way Minseok seemed as unable - maybe even as unwilling - to break the spell as Jongin. Three more steps and suddenly he was standing directly in front of the older man, close enough to touch, close enough to see the heightened color in his cheeks and the hungry glint in Minseok’s eyes. His own body answered with a restless kind of longing. He wanted Minseok. He wanted him bad.
Barely able to tear his gaze away from those piercing eyes, he let it flit down to pink, slightly abused lips and suddenly it was impossible to hold back the needy sound pushing at this throat. It had the older man jolting out of his frozen state.
“Minseok…”
Jongin barely recognized his own voice, as he reached out towards the man eyeing him like a dangerous animal. Minseok watched Jongin’s hand closing in with a wariness that spoke of volatile inner conflict, but not even for a second did he make the attempt to avoid his touch. He actually moved into it, nuzzling his cheek into the warmth of Jongin’s palm, like a cornered animal granting the touch of a reckless human. It was how Jongin felt, standing this close to Minseok, touching him, torn between wanting to move closer and fearing the moment the older man would attack or startle away. It was actually painful, the thought of not being able to touch him.
“I really want to kiss you. I need to kiss you. Please let me.”
There was a flash of something across Minseok’s face - not rejection, but not outright permission either. It seemed as if he was trying to talk himself out of something he desperately wanted and Jongin knew he couldn’t let him do it. He just couldn’t.
Sinking down on his knees in front of Minseok he tipped his head up until he could reach the sharp line of the elder’s jaw, until he could whisper another plea against smooth, hot skin. “Let me, please.”
Minseok didn’t let him. Instead he felt his own lips captured a mere heartbeat later, wonder exploding in his chest and a groan of both surrender and relief rumbling up through his tight throat. What happened next was a bit of a blur, the meeting of plush lips, hot glide of tongues, tightening of fingers in his damp hair and the press of the mattress beneath this back, as Minseok all but dragged him onto the bed and under him. Spreading his legs to let Minseok settle between his thighs was pure instinct, as was the slow drag of his fingers down the long expanse of Minseok’s back, the tightening of his grasp as he could finally dig his fingers into the older man’s firm buttocks and rock up against the hard body on top of him. Their groans were almost identical, the sounds fed into each other’s slick mouths and with a dizzying wave of relief Jongin felt Minseok take up a steady rhythm between his legs. The friction of the loose fabric against his hardening cock was almost painful, but the young man didn’t even care as he eagerly rocked up into the smooth rolls of Minseok’s hips.
He was hot, shivers of delight tingling down his spine and along his limbs, only to pool low in his belly, pressure mounting until it got almost too much to bear. Wrenching his mouth away from Minseok’s he threw his head back and panted his desperation into the tense silence around them - only broken by the sounds of their heavy breathing and the steady creaking of the bed.
Sleep was tugging at him, insistent and oh so tempting, but Jongin still had something to say - something important - so he struggled against the fog of exhaustion that was trying to drag him under and searched for the right words.
“I know we only met yesterday and that we know almost nothing about each other. I also know you think I’m too young, but… I really like you and I’d like to try. This.” A deep, shuddering breath. “Us.”
For several moments the steady rising and falling of Minseok’s bare chest beneath his cheek was the only movement from the older man, until he resumed his slow petting motion. Softly carding his fingers through Jongin’s hair it took him almost a full minute to respond.
“Okay.”
Just one word, but they both knew it meant so much more.
Jongin had fallen asleep in the warm circle of Minseok’s arms, but woke to an empty bed and the other man’s luggage gone from where he had placed it right beside the door. His instinctive reaction was panic, startling upright on the bed with sick dread rippling outwards from his chest, but then he discovered the little slip of paper on the bedside table and snatched it up so quickly, he almost tumbled off the edge of the mattress.
Call me when you’re back in Seoul and a series of numbers. Nothing more. Nevertheless Jongin fell back on the bed with a sigh, clutching the piece of paper to his chest and letting a small smile tug at his lips.
One year later
The cold evening air cut harshly through the fabric of Jongin’s jacket as he led his band up the stairs from their basement rehearsal room and out onto the icy pavement. He and Sehun had talked about whining at Luhan until their frontman agreed to drive them both home, but one look at the car parked at the curb in front of him and the man leaning back against the side of it and Jongin knew his friend would have to fight for himself.
“There he is, the bane of my existence.” Luhan’s voice from behind Jongin was only half teasing. “Do you think you two could actually have a real fight one of these days? A temporary break-up would be nice, as well. If I have to sing one more of Jongin’s song about how wonderful it is to be in love, I’ll barf. We’re a rock band, for God’s sake! It’s not right!”
Sehun’s “Jealousy and envy look kinda good on you, hyung”, the following curses and Chanyeol’s booming laughter as Luhan grabbed their youngest member into a one-armed chokehold barely registered. Instead Jongin stepped up to his boyfriend, pulled down the scarf from where it was covering the bottom half of Minseok’s face and leaned forward for a soft kiss.
“Let’s go home,“ the older man murmured against Jongin’s lips, gloved hand possessively cupping the back of his neck. “You’re not wearing nearly enough clothes for this weather again.”
“Yeah, let’s go home. I’ll let you warm me up.”
Jongin returned Minseok’s amused smile to the sound of Luhan’s utterly disgusted retching.
Title: nivālis
Pairing: Jongin/Xiumin
Word Count: ~9,000 words
Rating: R
Warnings:: slight age gap
Summary: Getting his inspiration back was hard, but falling for Minseok was almost ridiculously easy.
Author's Note: Dear sleepydanceur, this story was actually supposed to be a lot longer, but due to my lacking time-management skills I had to end it sooner than planned. I'm still determined to post the full story once I have time to finish it, so if you're interested I'd be happy to send you a link when it's done. I hope you'll still enjoy the shorter version. Special thanks to my cheering-squad and squad leader A, thank you so much for giving me the push I needed. Love you lots! ♡
Packed snow crunched under the soles of Jongin’s clearly insufficient Onitsuka Tiger sneakers, as he got out of the backseat of the cab he had taken from the airport. The air around him was bitingly cold despite the blue sky and sunny weather, so he pulled the lapels of his jacket tighter around him with a little shiver, watching the cab driver open the trunk of the car and start unloading Jongin’s luggage. He was lunging forward and taking the guitar case from the man, before he had completely lifted it out of the trunk, but despite a quick startled glance, the cab driver didn’t comment on it.
Jongin had actually planned to leave the guitar in his apartment in Seoul, but in the end he just hadn’t been able to do it. There hadn’t been a day in the last three years the instrument hadn’t been at his side and the thought of being without his constant companion for two whole weeks was terrifying beyond imagination. So he had taken the guitar with him - even knowing that it probably wouldn’t make a difference - and hoped the change of scene might help with his utter lack of inspiration at the moment.
After paying the taxi driver a bloody fortune for the hour-long drive, Jongin shouldered his bag and instrument and started marching across the small parking lot towards the hotel, strides long, but careful on the icy ground. It was a small, completely unremarkable looking house and exactly what Jongin had wanted. Slightly away from the next town and surrounded by nothing, but mountains, forests and hills covered in thick layers of snow, he knew it would be the exact opposite of the colorful and hectic bustle of Seoul.
Getting his room turned out to be a bit of a challenge, with the elderly couple owning the hotel clearly not fluent in English, but after a painful exchange of heavily-accented English on both their parts, Jongin was finally shown to his room. It was as unremarkable as the outside of the house, but cozy and clean. Jongin didn’t need more than that.
His luggage was unpacked within minutes and it was only when he threw the - at best - haphazardly folded bag into his wooden closet and turned around to face the tiny room again that Jongin realized he actually had no idea what to do next. He hadn’t thought that far ahead yet. True to his sometimes too impulsive character he had acted with very little to no planning at all, going with his gut and deciding he would figure things out once he arrived. But as he now stared at the meticulously made bed - doing his best to ignore the slow creep of exhaustion - he felt a familiar anxiousness rising up from his chest. Jongin tried to keep his gaze away from the guitar leaning against the foot of the bed, but like a puppet on a string his head turned until his gaze settled on the black case.
Seconds later he was sitting at the edge of the bed, guitar braced against his thighs and fingers resting on the mute strings. He just couldn’t help it. Every time he tried again, he couldn’t help but hope. Maybe it would work. Maybe this time the feeling would be back. Closing his eyes and drawing in a deep breath through his nose, Jongin waited for a single heartbeat, forced his trembling hand to still and then he played. He waited for the flare of pleasure - excitement - as he let instinct take over. The pressure of the strings under his left hand’s fingers was familiar, the rasp over skin as he slid them down the neck of his guitar something he had always taken comfort in, while the clear sound of the notes chased away the silence around him. But several seconds into the song he was still waiting for the usual bubbling of joy he felt whenever he spent time doing the only thing he had ever truly loved and he cut off the melody with a vicious curse caught in the back of his throat.
The fear came rushing back as he put down the guitar on the bed behind him with care, gaze fixed stubbornly ahead so he didn’t have to look at the beloved and cursed instrument. Of course it hadn’t worked. Of course it was still the same. Why should things change that easily, just because he had dragged his sorry ass to a different continent? Jongin knew perfectly well that running away from his problems didn’t actually make them go away, was simply a way to put off the inevitable. But that didn’t keep the hollow feeling of disappointment in his stomach from sharpening into something infinitely more painful.
He knew that his current mindset wasn’t going to help things change. Jongin was blocking himself, putting unnecessary pressure on himself, but knowing it and actually feeling it were two entirely different things.
He needed his music. Music had been the only thing he had ever been truly good at, the only thing that had never let him down. Jongin had no idea who he even was without the constant, comforting presence of it in his life, wasn’t sure if he actually wanted to know.
Pushing up from the bed he slipped back into his jacket, grabbed his phone from the bedside table and all but lunged for the door. He wasn’t even sure where he was headed, but what he knew was that he wanted to - had to - get out. Jongin had barely locked the door behind him, to head back downstairs when the phone in his hand started vibrating insistently. He had a very good idea who it was, even before he tipped down his head to take a quick glance at his caller ID. Despite everything the smile tugging at his lips came easily and it was with a wave of relief that he swiped his thumb over the screen to take the call.
“Hey, Luhan.”
“Great, you survived the flight. Are you feeling inspired yet?”
The typical sardonic undertone of his friend’s voice, was as distinctive over the phone as it was face to face and even though Jongin couldn’t see the wry curve of Luhan’s smile, he could picture it perfectly in his mind. He had been on the receiving end of it often enough in the past four years.
“It’s not the flight you should have worried about, but the way to the hotel. There’s snow and ice on the roads, it looks a bit like the Antarctic, just with more trees and civilization, but the cab driver sped as if it’s was a balmy spring day with perfect road conditions. The last time I’ve been that scared was when we got Chanyeol drunk and he discovered his fascination with fire.”
“They do say that fear can lead to some really interesting bodily and psychological reactions, so are you feeling inspired yet?” Luhan repeated, voice still low, but noticeably more insistent. From the lack of background noises Jongin deduced that it was one of the rare Friday nights the lead singer of their band had decided to stay at home at the apartment he shared with their drummer Chanyeol.
“I just arrived.”
“So what? Sehun’s been talking my ear off ever since you left because he’s worried about you and the band. For the sake of my sanity you better work out whatever it is that’s bothering you. That kid is driving me crazy.”
“Right, as if you actually mind.” Everyone knew that Luhan had the softest of spots for their young and entirely too energetic keyboarder. “He thinks you’re the most amazing person on the planet. He basically worships the earth you walk on and you love every second of it. So don’t act as if it’s such a burden. I bet you bought him coffee, told him that you’d take care of everything and he stopped worrying right away.”
There were several beats of crackling silence that had Jongin almost checking if he lost his very unstable connection, before Luhan spoke up again.
“It’s only right that he thinks I’m amazing. We all know it’s the truth and the kid should learn. But I think you underestimate how worried Sehun actually is. I had to buy him coffee and dinner before he stopped whining. And somehow Chanyeol wormed his way into eating with us as well, and you know how much those two can eat! It’ll be a miracle if I can come up with the rent for our rehearsal room this moth!”
The overdramatic lilt in his voice, accent growing thicker and more noticeable for a moment, had a grin spreading across Jongin’s face as he crossed the cozy reception area of the hotel, knowing perfectly well that it was just Luhan’s weird way of making sure Jongin was alright. His oldest friend mostly refused to admit to any kind of actual feelings, preferring to bury them under a thick layer of sarcasm. He made sure no one ever noticed he was worrying, leave alone caring for someone, but they had all seen through that a while ago. Luhan was probably just as worried as their youngest band member.
Jongin really wished he could offer his friend some true reassurance.
“Tell Sehun to stop worrying. I’m fine and I’ll be back in two weeks. Hopefully with a truckload of new songs in tow.”
He worked hard not to let the tendrils of uneasiness and doubt bleed into his voice, kept it purposefully light, and judging by the soft chuckle in his ear he was more successful than expected. He had never been good at telling lies or hiding his feelings, but Jongin guessed he had the advantage of being an entire continent away. Luhan’s eerie ability to read the younger man was definitely thwarted by the fact that he wasn’t able to take a good look at Jongin’s way too revealing face. So when he pushed open the door and stepped back outside, cold air driving out the lingering tiredness immediately, he knew that he had fooled Luhan to the best of his ability.
The collision came literally out of nowhere - at least as far as Jongin and his wayward attention were concerned. With his gaze directed downwards, as he realized that he had once again forgotten to change into sturdier shoes, he only noticed the person standing directly in his path by the time it was already too late to stop. The next second Jongin bumped into a turned back and suddenly had his arms full of someone flailing wildly as he watched his phone fly away in a rather impressive arc, too stunned to let the waiting curse slip over his lips.
His first thought was small and soft and by the time both of them regained their balance on the icy ground, Jongin was already busy trying to word his apology.
“Sorry, I didn’t look! Are you alright?”
Letting go of the person and hoping his English had at least been halfway understandable, he carefully helped the person turn around, eager to see if he had done any damage during their less than gentle collision. The sight that greeted him had him blinking in surprise. The man - at least he thought it was a man - was bundled up in a thick green jacket, fluffy hat pulled down over his ears and scarf covering most of his face, until only his eyes were visible. Dark, almond-shaped eyes that were staring up at him with something that - luckily - seemed to be more shock than anger.
“I’m alright.”
The unexpected sound of his mother-tongue, spoken in a muffled and slightly winded-sounding voice that seemed to fit the shorter frame perfectly, had Jongin blinking up dumbly again, before his gaze dropped down to the camera tightly clutched in the man’s gloved hands.
“I’m so sorry, is your camera alright as well?”
Jongin didn’t know the first thing about cameras, perfectly content to take all the photos he wanted with his phone, but it looked shiny and expensive and the young man found himself a second away from praying.
“Yes, it’s fine. Nothing happened.”
Jongin’s sigh of relief was short-lived, as another glance at the camera sparked the memory of his own phone sailing through the air. Whirling around with a sound of distress, barely biting down on another curse, he ran to where his phone had landed face down on the packed snow and snatched it up with a feeling of hopeful dread.
His sigh, when he took in the miraculously undamaged and still lit-up screen of his phone was almost embarrassingly loud. That was when he realized he was still connected to Luhan and hastily pressed the phone to his ear after wiping off the melted snow and few flecks of dirt. Just in time to have his friend yell an agitated “Jongin!” right into his ear. His shoulders jerked with a full-body wince and he barely kept himself from yanking the phone away from his ringing ear. Good lord, Luhan definitely was their lead vocal for a reason.
“I’m here. I’m here. Sorry, I dropped you when I ran into someone - literally. I’m alright, though.”
“Jeez, maybe Sehun is right after all. Maybe we should all be a bit more worried about you all alone on the other side of the planet. Try not to get yourself killed, would you? Finding another guitarist would be such a hassle.”
Luhan’s voice was slightly peeved, but noticeably relieved and Jongin would feel bad for scaring him like that if it hadn’t been for the distraction of someone hunkering down right next to him.
“Sorry, Lu. I gotta go now. I’ll call and check in soon. And tell Sehun not to be too much of a brat.”
“Fat chance.” This time the older man’s voice sounded almost comically resigned. “Take care.”
Ending the call Jongin turned his head to the side and found himself looking directly into the curious eyes of his ‘victim’ from a few moments ago, most of his face revealed, now that he had pulled down his scarf. The man looked young, maybe a few years older than Jongin, with slanted, inquisitive eyes, full red cheeks - probably from the cold - and lips that captured Jongin’s attention a bit too thoroughly. He was downright grateful for the way the man’s words cut off his obvious staring a few seconds into semi-dangerous territory.
“Is your phone okay?”
Without the fluffy fabric covering his mouth his voice sounded almost… mischievous. In a soft way Jongin wasn’t quite sure how else to describe. All he knew was that he liked it - a lot - unconsciously leaning closer, before he caught himself and reluctantly pulled back again, feeling his ears blush in a way that had nothing to do with the freezing temperatures.
“I think so. I looks fine,” he mumbled into his collar and kept his gaze purposefully focused on the phone in his cold hands.
They both got to their feet, where Jongin immediately lowered his head and shoulders in a light bow.
“Sorry again for running into you. I wasn’t paying attention. I… I do that sometimes, but I’m working on it.”
Cutting himself off when he realized he was starting to ramble, Jongin chanced another glance at the shorter man and met his direct stare, unexpectedly intense in comparison to his unthreatening stature and gentle voice.
“No harm, no foul. Don’t worry about it. I’m wearing enough layers, so it cushioned the impact quite nicely. And since nothing happened to my camera I’ll let you live.”
The words had Jongin’s eyes going wide with temporary shock, before he decided to take them as a joke - despite the complete lack of humor in the man’s eyes.
“I’m… glad to hear that,” Jongin announced with a slightly pained grin at the continued absence of a smile on the other’s face, shifting his weight unconsciously from one foot to the other. The man kept on staring at him, the urge to squirm under the close scrutiny almost too strong to resist. Just as Jongin was about to give up and pull his shoulders up in a purely defensive move, he got a curt nod and was suddenly looking the man’s retreating back, who walked the few steps to the hotel and disappeared inside.
Nonplussed by the abrupt and wordless farewell, Jongin remained rooted to his spot, staring at the closed door before an icy gust of wind yanked him out of his puzzled musings. He resumed walking, deciding to explore the vicinity and hoping the fresh air would dissipate some of the persistent exhaustion, but Jongin still felt entirely too unsettled by the short encounter. The man had gone from drawing him in to intimidating the hell out of him in under ten seconds and Jongin wasn’t quite sure what to make of that. Didn’t knowif he should make something of it in the first place. Yes, judging by the fact that they had run into each other here, they were very likely staying in the same hotel, but that didn’t have to mean anything. Jongin should just write the incident off and focus on getting his own shit together. He really didn’t have the time to worry about this as well. Or the confusing, fleeting urge to follow the man back into the hotel.
Jongin really needed to ignore all that and do himself a favor by paying attention to where he was walking on the icy path beneath his poorly lacking sneakers.
By the time he returned to his hotel room he had almost gotten lost twice, his feet were wet and freezing and he was seriously starting to get worried about frostbite, as he had lost all feeling in his fingers, ears and nose a while ago. Just to be sure he wasn’t going to lose any bodyparts, Jongin took the longest shower of his life, mourning his own shower back in Seoul as he stood under the - almost - trickling jet of water and cursed the pins and needles in his thawing limbs.
Pulling on fresh clothes and throwing a quick glance at the screen of his phone, after he emerged from the steam-filled bathroom, he felt his spirits lift considerably when he realized it was late enough to head for dinner. He was pretty sure his stomach would have purred in satisfaction if it wasn’t so busy growling at him, so he hurried downstairs with quite more enthusiasm than before and stepped into the cozy dinner room where meals were served. The smell that greeted him as he pushed through the door had his mouth watering in delight, but two steps into the room the sight of a familiar someone had him drawing up short. At the table directly opposite the wooden bar sat the man Jongin had almost bowled over in the parking lot, the same man that was looking up with a start now, as if he could feel Jongin’s surprised gaze on him. Other than the slight widening of those intriguing eyes the man showed no outwardly reaction and Jongin was suddenly hit with powerful indecision.
He couldn’t just keep on standing in the middle of the door and continue his staring, as the elderly woman behind the bar was already giving him curious glances, but nothing about the man’s posture spelled invitation. In fact it was completely impossible to read the closed-off expression on his attractive face. Nevertheless Jongin couldn’t help but feel that sitting down at another table without at least greeting the other man would be just plain rude. He tried to convince himself he wasn’t using this as an excuse to talk to the shorter man again, but found it quite difficult to believe himself.
In the end he went with his gut feeling and headed straight for the occupied table - not quite sure what to make of the unchanging expression on the almost-stranger’s face. Jongin told himself it was at least better than a glare or outright rejection.
Now that he was wearing less, Jongin was finally able to get a decent look at him and with a little jolt of surprise - and something else the young guitarist didn’t want to contemplate too closely - he realized that he looked rather fit, despite the lacking height. His gray cardigan draped appealingly over unexpectedly broad shoulders, sleeves rolled up to reveal long, sinewy forearms and a second later Jongin’s gaze zeroed in on the sharp collarbones peeking out over the collar of his tshirt. Suddenly it was a lot more complicated to ignore the tightness of his throat and slow burn in his chest. For some reason, without knowing anything about him, Jongin found himself undeniably drawn to the man, no matter how little sense it made or how different he was from Jongin’s usual type.
“Can I join you?”
The words were slipping over Jongin’s lips the second he reached the table and despite the fact that Jongin had no idea where they had come from, had actually just wanted to apologize again before looking for his own table, he took it in stride. He had always had the habit of talking first and thinking later, so for the sake of his own sanity he had learned to go with whatever situation he found himself in.
Jongin’s words had the other man raising one arched eyebrow, clearly expecting the words as little as Jongin had and the small gesture had untypical shyness washing over him. He simply didn’t get nervous, not when it came to talking to people. It was what he was good at, something that came to him almost effortlessly, but something about the other man’s piercing gaze had him feeling unusually intimidated. A moment later though, he got a barely discernible nod and his nerves disappeared under the wave of giddy triumph. The permission almost felt like a personal victory and with a sunny smile he let himself drop down on the chair opposite the man.
“Thanks! I’m not gonna lie, I’m actually really relieved I ran into you earlier. Travelling is nice, but the whole communication difficulties are a bit of a downer. It feels good to be able to speak Korean. I really didn’t expect to miss it already. It hasn’t even been a full day since I left Seoul.” He was well aware of his rambling, it was simply another thing he had the habit of doing, so he didn’t even bother with trying to stop the flood of words. Always better than awkward silences, he told himself, especially since the other man didn’t seem like a sparkling conversationalist. “I’m Jongin, by the way. I wanted to apologize again for not paying attention earlier. I’m glad you and your camera are okay.”
If he was intimidated by the flood of words the man didn’t show it, but neither did he seem inclined to reciprocate.
“Kim Minseok. And like I said, it’s fine.” That was all he said before the shorter of the two went back to his silent appraisal of Jongin.
Thought so.
Before he could launch another barrage of words though, he suddenly found a menu shoved into his hands from his right, head jerking up in surprise and meeting the female owner’s smile.
“What would you like to drink?”
Her English was as accented and difficult to understand as before, despite the fact that the words were obviously rehearsed. To avoid a repeat performance of their complicated ‘dance’ during his check-in, Jongin decided to go with the safest choice.
“Water, please.”
The woman disappeared with a small nod and Jongin turned to his menu with a mix of curiosity and dread. Opening it, he let his gaze travel over the first page and found his biggest worry confirmed at once - he didn’t understand a single thing. From what he could tell the entire menu was written in German - or something he at least suspected was German - leaving him without a single clue what to do next. He was just about to turn to Minseok for some desperately needed help, when the older lady returned with his water and gave him a terrifyingly expectant look.
“Did you choose?”
Put to the spot like that, he found himself a second away from testing his luck and simply pointing at a random dish on the menu, when he raised his eyes over the menu for a quick peek at Minseok and noticed the dish on the table in front of the man. It looked a bit like the Mac and Cheese he had seen so often on American TV and with clearly misplaced satisfaction he congratulated himself on his dumb luck.
Good enough.
“I want the same as him. Thank you.”
With his order wrapped up, he handed his menu back to the ‘terrifying lady’ - as he had secretly dubbed her in his head - and watched her disappear behind the counter and into what appeared to be the kitchen with something close to crushing relief. If he had known how difficult the simple procedure of getting food would turn out to be, he would have just travelled to Jeju, or maybe chosen a more foreigner-oriented hotel instead.
But another glance at Minseok at the heels of that thought had him taking back the sentiment before it had time to fester.
His lips were as unmoving and relaxed as before, but something about the look in those cat-like eyes had Jongin thinking that the shorter guy was on the verge of smiling at him. He was wholly unprepared for the longing spreading through him in slow ripples from behind his ribs. Jongin wanted to see Minseok smile, wanted to discover the changes it would bring to that too-serious face.
“Are you laughing at me?”
The barely noticeable flash of an emotion Jongin could swear was surprise in Minseok’s dark eyes had Jongin moving forward in his seat without the conscious decision to do so.
“Of course not.”
Jongin wasn’t convinced. Not when, barely a second after Minseok’s calm denial, he could actually see the corner of the other man’s mouth twitching, as if he was having the most challenging time keeping himself form outright laughing in Jongin’s face.
“You’re lying!”
Something very close to pure indignation rang in Jongin’s voice as he pointed an accusing finger at Minseok and with a very confusing mix of embarrassment and delight he watched a fleeting grin flash across the other’s face. For a second Jongin forgot all about his outrage and watched Minseok’s face relax, eyes crinkle and cheeks bunch up. He felt one second away from doing something completely reckless and stupid - like reach out and pinch those adorable globes.
Jongin knew the man across from him was still holding back, wasn’t letting his guard down completely, but that didn’t even seem to matter. Despite the controlled smile the tall man felt almost mesmerized, barely keeping himself from just sitting there and staring.
“That’s just mean.”
The whine that accompanied the scowling complaint had Minseok giving a quiet scoff, face softening by another degree and Jongin felt strangely accomplished.
“If it makes you feel any better, I’m mostly laughing because you reminded me of myself on my first day here. I just randomly pointed at something on the menu and hoped for the best.”
“And what did you get?”
Another brief flash of emotion - this time a lot less pleasant - and Jongin was all but falling off the edge of his seat from making sure he didn’t miss any of it.
“Let’s not talk about that.”
Jongin simply couldn’t help himself, the pure horror in Minseok’s voice and pinched expression on his face were just too priceless, and with a hearty chuckle he threw his head back and laughed until his stomach started aching. He knew it wasn’t the most considerate thing to do - just a few moments ago he had had complained about Minseok making fun of him - but exceptional tact had never ranked among his strengths. Neither had controlling his emotions. Maybe that was one of the reasons he felt this unescapably drawn to the closed-off man in front of him.
He expected a glare a glare from Minseok by the time he got himself under control again, maybe a pout - even though it seemed entirely out of character. Instead he found Minseok staring at him with an intensity that got the last chuckle stuck in Jongin’s suddenly tight throat, electric jolt going through his body at the close regard. He blindly reached for his glass, unable to tear his gaze away from the other man, and hoped the water would help with the dryness of his mouth.
“I’ve been a professional photographer for five years now. It’s not quite as exciting as it sounds,” Minseok quickly amended in response to Jongin’s eyes widening in amazement. “A lot of it are just commissions that pay the bills, but I still love it. And it’s easier, now that I’ve made a name for myself in the business.”
“Five years, huh? Wow… you must have gotten started really early.”
“I’ve been into photography since I was a teenager, but I only made a job out of it with twenty-four, after I realized that I simply wasn’t made to become a lawyer like my parents always wanted.”
It took Jongin several seconds to realize what that meant.
“Twenty-four? But… that’d make you twenty-nine! You can’t be six years older than me!”
Minseok’s grimace told Jongin that he was lacking some serious tact and being entirely too blunt again, so he pulled himself back from where he had leant forward over the table and cleared his throat with the little bit of ruefulness he could muster up.
“Sorry. I tend to blurt things out without thinking them through first. What I meant to say was that you look a lot younger. I honestly thought you’d be around my age.”
The elder’s face was - once again - almost expressionless, eyes boring straight into him, and Jongin felt himself shrink slightly into his seat, convinced he had finally managed to insult the other man with his damned loose tongue. He was ready to apologize for the umpteenth time that day, about to open his mouth and pray he wouldn’t make an ass out of himself again, when suddenly the other’s half-smile returned, actually more relaxed than it had been before.
“I get that a lot.”
Jongin was so relieved, he all but melted in his seat.
“Not a day goes by without my best friend making at least one semi-insulting remark about my ‘baby-face’, so believe me, I’ve heard it all.”
The younger man was only too eager to take the offered out and change the topic, before he somehow managed to put his other foot in his mouth as well.
“So are you here on vacation or because of your job?”
“Both. I originally came here for a photoshoot with Kim Hojun. He-“
“Wait! Snowboarder Kim Hojun?!”
“Yes,” Minseok replied, expression patiently amused at Jongin’s child-like excitement. “He’s in Switzerland for a competition and after I finished my job I decided to stay a few days longer. I like it here. It’s… quiet.”
Jongin thought he could probably watch Minseok all day, keep track of the minute changes in his expression and never tire of it. Right then his face looked almost peaceful, lashes coming down slowly as he let his gaze wander through the room. Jongin was so focused on the little movements of his brows, he didn’t even notice the question directed at him.
“Jongin?”
Wrenching his gaze away from Minseok’s mouth - he hadn’t even noticed his focus travelling downwards - Jongin forced his attention back to the conversation at hand, dazed mind scrambling to catch up.
“I’m sorry. What?”
“I asked why you came here.”
“Oh, right…” He wanted to slap himself. That one time Minseok contributed to the conversation without Jongin’s prodding and he missed it because he was too busy ogling the other’s mouth. He really needed to work on his ability to concentrate. It didn’t matter that it was a really great mouth, or that it was entirely too tempting to think about all the things he’d like to do to it. Their first real conversation definitely wasn’t the time and place for such thoughts. “I’m here on vacation. Just trying to, you know, get a break from stuff.”
For a second his mind tugged him in the direction of his guitar, still lying face-down on his bed, but for once the cloying anxiety wasn’t strong enough to push to the forefront of his mind. Not when he had the most intriguing kind of puzzle sitting right in front of him, eyebrow raised almost challengingly.
“So why Switzerland?”
“I didn’t give it that much thought, to be honest. It just sounded like it’d be different from Korea and Seoul.”
“Fair enough.”
Jongin’s food arrived soon afterwards and he was happy to discover that it tasted even better than it smelled. Minseok had watched him take a cautious first bite, looking a second away from laughing at Jongin again, and the younger man had been caught between the explosion of flavors on his tongue and slow shifting of warmth in his chest.
It was over an hour later, with their plates long cleared off the table and Minseok a lot more relaxed about answering the endless stream of Jongin’s questions, that he finally gave in to the exhaustion of his long and eventful day. He had fought it, hid it as best as he could, but eventually Minseok had noticed the redness of his eyes, drooping eyelids and constant struggle to keep from yawning.
“How long have you been awake?”
“Uhm…”
Another raise of those surprisingly expressive eyebrows - this time almost threatening - and Jongin caved like a house of cards.
“About twenty hours?”
With that he found himself herded quite forcefully to his room, keys pried out of his uncooperative fingers and a second later, with nothing but a gentle, but firm “Get some sleep, Jongin” he had his own door slammed in his face from the outside. A minute later he was still standing there, grinning stupidly at the way his name had sounded coming from Minseok’s mouth.
“W-what the fuck?”
“It’s me.”
“Jongin? What the heck? It’s ass o’clock in the morning. This better be important or I’m disowning you.”
Chanyeol’s deep voice sounded rough like sand paper, somehow managing to go even lower as he cursed Jongin over the phone. Jongin would have felt sorry for waking him, if it weren’t for the fact that he was simply too agitated and distracted to focus on anything but the person he had just had dinner with.
“Hyung…”
A few short beats of silence.
“Oh my God, it is important. You haven’t called me ‘hyung’ since… never mind, I can’t even remember the last time you called me that. Brat.”
That last part was added as if on afterthought, no real bite in Chanyeol’s voice, and Jongin felt the smile on his face grow impossibly wider.
“I would have called Luhan, he’s probably still awake anyway, but I know he would have just hung up on me. After laughing his ass off, that is.”
There was the rustle of fabric in the background, as if Chanyeol was shifting around to get more comfortable on his bed, before his sleep-roughened voice was back in Jongin’s ear.
“What is it? Tell big brother Chanyeol all about it.”
Deciding not to comment on how creepy his friend was being again, Jongin hesitated for maybe two seconds, before he just let the words tumble from his mouth.
“If I - technically - fall in serious like and fascination with someone at first sight, what am I supposed to do?”
Another pause, with nothing but the sound of Chanyeol’s quiet breathing on the line.
“Like? Not love at first sight?”
“Hyung, you know just as well as I do that you can’t actually fall in love with someone without knowing him or her. That’s just plain stupid.”
“My Jonginnie is such a romantic.”
Chanyeol’s laughter was loud in Jongin’s ear and despite the instinctive urge to yank the phone away to save his precious hearing, the familiar sound was strangely soothing.
“So what am I supposed to do?”
“Try to get to know him better. I’m assuming it’s a guy, since we’re talking about you here.”
“But what if said guy is going to leave tomorrow?”
“Get to know him quickly?”
“That’s what I thought.”
With Chanyeol’s semi-helpful advice still ringing in his mind, Jongin headed down for breakfast well-rested, but mind occupied the next morning. He couldn’t quite stifle his disappointment when he realized that Minseok wasn’t there, but the sight and smell of breakfast managed to restore some of his good mood again. Heading straight for the buffet and piling his plate with as much food as he thought he could get away with, Jongin settled down at the table he had shared with Minseok the evening before.
He wasn’t sure if it was just the fact that the nine, uninterrupted hours of sleep had him feeling like himself for the first time since he had arrived here or if the food was just that good, but Jongin hadn’t eaten with that much enjoyment in quite a while. Of course it could have been the small victory of letting the ‘terrifying lady’ know he wanted hot chocolate instead of coffee or tea, as well.
It was in the middle of his second serving that Jongin looked up at the sound of the door opening and discovered Minseok stepping into the room. He was bundled up like the day before, with nothing but his eyes visible, and the sight was enough to have Jongin biting down on a barely there coo. Twenty-nine year olds shouldn’t be allowed to look that adorable. Ever. It just wasn’t fair.
Barely a moment later Minseok looked up to have their eyes meeting across the room. Jongin felt it like a physical contact, electricity sizzling down his spine in a way that was damned inconvenient for a public setting like theirs. He watched the older man freeze, eyes going wide, but after a second he started moving again, heading right towards him and Jongin viewed the hesitant, but direct approach - as if Minseok was warring with himself on the inside - as a personal victory. Slowly chewing on his food he waited until Minseok stopped beside his table and gave him a welcoming smile, but decided to let the other talk first.
“Did you sleep well?”
“Yeah, I’m as good as new.” A quick glance at the redness of Minseok’s cheeks and Jongin felt his curiosity spike anew. “Where you outside already?”
“Yes. Since it’s my last day here I thought I’d spend some of the remaining time taking a few more pictures for myself.”
For the first time since Jongin had met Minseok, there was a restless kind of energy around him and it made the older man look as if he was caught somewhere between wanting to sit down and turning around and walking away. With a sense of urgency kicking in, desperate to keep the other man around for a little bit longer, Jongin blurted out the first thing on his mind.
“Does that mean you already did all the other mandatory stuff?”
“Mandatory stuff?”
Even with the hat and scarf hiding most of Minseok’s face, Jongin could still see the confused frown. The older man clearly wasn’t used to not following along in a conversation. Dissatisfaction was rolling off him in waves and the younger of the two was almost tempted to keep him in the dark for a bit longer, just to see how he would react.
This bottomless curiosity where the man in front of him was concerned would undoubtedly get him into a whole lot of trouble at one point or another. It was really just a matter of time.
“Yeah, you know… build a snowman or snow fort, make a snow angel, ride a sled, be in a snow fight… stuff like that.”
Minseok was looking at him as if he had just sprouted a second head, narrowed eyes blinking down at him in disbelief, and for some reason Jongin felt his lips twitch with the beginnings of a happy smile. He was probably losing his mind, all that clean, fresh mountain air clearly getting to his head.
“When does your flight leave?”
Surprisingly the elder didn’t even blink at the sudden change of topics.
“Not until tonight. It’s a 10pm flight.”
“Great. Let’s go then!”
Jongin himself couldn’t believe his impromptu and very amateurish ‘ploy’ had actually worked on Minseok, but the older man had come along with very little protest. And now, after stowing Minseok’s luggage away in Jongin’s room, as he had already checked out of his own, they were standing in front of the hotel, dresses in their warmest clothes again and staring down at the wooden sled Jongin had somehow - miraculously - managed to borrow from their hosts.
“And you expect me to get on that?”
The utter disbelieve in Minseok’s voice was probably the most emotional reaction he had gotten from the older man so far. Which, of course, meant that Jongin couldn’t simply leave it at that.
“Actually, I want you to hike up that hillside with me,” the younger commented, pointing at the steep incline in front of them. “Then you can get on the sled.”
Minseok looked entirely unimpressed.
Their first try, to put it nicely, was a complete and utter bust. Instead of racing down the slope as expected, they inched their way forward, painfully slow, and got stuck in the deep, powdery snow a total of four times.
“This looked a lot more exciting on TV,” Jongin grumbled forlornly, staring up at the messy tracks they had left in the previously untouched snow, so it took him a while to notice the very determined expression on the older man’s face.
“Let’s try this again.”
‘Let’s try this again’ turned into five more times of hiking up the steep hillside, Minseok half shoving, half dragging a whining Jongin, but by their sixth attempt the snow of their tracks was packed hard enough to give them quite the impressive speed on the ride down. And Jongin finally had an acceptable excuse to cling to Minseok as he sat behind him on the sled.
“No one warned me that playing in the snow would be this exhausting.”
Jongin was well aware of the fact that he was whining again, but that just couldn’t be helped. He was sweaty and cold at the same time, his pants were caked with snow all the way up to his knees and he was so shamefully out of breath, he knew he should probably consider a few visits to the gym once he returned to Seoul.
“Maybe it’s time to make that snow angel now. Since you can lie down and rest for a bit that way.”
The overly nonchalant tone in Minseok’s voice should have definitely tipped him off, but for a second he was simply too distracted by the way he was batting his lashes at him. By the time suspicion crept in he was already falling backwards, tipped over by the push Minseok had given him a second ago and before he fully realized what was going on, he was already lying in the snow, sinking in several inches and blinking up at the older man leaning over him.
The older man that was currently smirking down at him, obviously very satisfied with himself.
Another expression.
That - hopeless, he was completely hopeless - was his first coherent thought, before disbelieve and indignation slowly settled in.
“You didn’t.”
“Oh, I did. What you’re gonna do about it.”
And that was how they checked ‘be in a snow fight’ off their list.
It wasn’t pretty, possibly the dirtiest battle in the history of snow fights, but by the time Minseok tackled Jongin to the ground to keep him from launching any more snowballs at him, they were laughing so hard, Jongin felt tears tickling down the sides of his face.
After finally his breath, Jongin turned his head to the side to look at Minseok and his own laughter cut off with an almost painful stab of wonder to his chest.
Minseok looked gorgeous, laughing so hard he was actually curling in on himself, clutching his stomach and stomping his feet in the powdery snow. Sometime during their fight he had apparently lost his hat, his hair was damp from sweat and the snow and a few strands were clinging to his forehead, with stray snowflakes melting rapidly on his flushed cheeks. Jongin was convinced he was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his life.
It actually took him a long while to realize Minseok was looking at him in return now, to notice that the older man’s laughter had died down, amusement quickly replaced by an infinitely darker, more volatile emotion. Minseok was definitely staring at his lips, own bottom lip clamped between his teeth and the urge to push himself upright, lean over and kiss away the conflicted expression on his face was so strong, he felt his entire body tense in anticipation.
And then suddenly Minseok was turning his head away, getting to his feet and brushing the snow off of him, looking everywhere but at Jongin.
“Let’s go build that snowman.”
It took the younger man several moments to get his bearings back, still caught up in the crackling tension of the last minute and left adrift by Minseok’s abrupt turn-about.
“And just so you know, if you even think about singing any ‘Frozen’ songs I will hurt you, kid.”
Kid.
They were completely frozen through by the time they stumbled up the stairs and into Jongin’s room two hours and a botched snowman-building-attempt later, failing spectacularly at holding back their laughter and dripping melted snow on the carpet and wooden floor. After a short, but rather intense discussion, the younger managed to convince Minseok to take a shower first and it was only a few minutes before the other man emerged from the bathroom again, fully dressed and toweling off his wet hair.
“Your turn.”
With the hot water trickling down on him, Jongin did his best to try to keep his thoughts away from Minseok naked and wet in the same spot he was in now, but he only had so much discipline and he ended up taking the exact opposite of his planned hot shower. Something that proved completely useless the second he returned outside.
Jongin’s feet felt rooted to the floor as he caught sight of Minseok sitting at the edge of his bed, legs splayed comfortably and forearms braced on his knees in a way that had the collar of his loose shirt gaping wide enough to have Jongin’s mouth going dust-dry in a second. Minseok hadn’t acknowledged him yet, was still focused on the screen of his phone, and it gave the younger man dangerously much time to stare at the maddening flashes of skin, the tense lines of his arms and the way his jeans clung to strong thighs he wanted to feel pressed up against his own. It was enough to have all of the previous want bubbling to the surface again.
Maybe he had made a sound, maybe Minseok simply felt the burn of Jongin’s eyes on him, but suddenly he was looking up, gaze travelling over Jongin’s exposed stomach and upper body, before he met his straight on. He almost expected to see sparks sizzling along the edges of his vision, see the nearly palpable tension rippling through the air, as Minseok’s eyes widened at the prolonged, utterly silent eye-contact.
Breathing became a challenge, the weight of his want pressing down on his chest, spreading hot in his gut and Jongin was helpless to do anything about it. For all of his impulsiveness and the reckless core of his personality he had never felt an instantaneous attraction like this before. He felt unprepared, exhilaratingly unable to handle it and with an almost giddy kind of relief he found himself abandoning all responsibility and reason.
Ordering his feet to move, he approached the man still watching him from his perch on the bed. He saw the wariness and confusion in his gaze, felt the powerful pull and took note of the way Minseok seemed as unable - maybe even as unwilling - to break the spell as Jongin. Three more steps and suddenly he was standing directly in front of the older man, close enough to touch, close enough to see the heightened color in his cheeks and the hungry glint in Minseok’s eyes. His own body answered with a restless kind of longing. He wanted Minseok. He wanted him bad.
Barely able to tear his gaze away from those piercing eyes, he let it flit down to pink, slightly abused lips and suddenly it was impossible to hold back the needy sound pushing at this throat. It had the older man jolting out of his frozen state.
“Minseok…”
Jongin barely recognized his own voice, as he reached out towards the man eyeing him like a dangerous animal. Minseok watched Jongin’s hand closing in with a wariness that spoke of volatile inner conflict, but not even for a second did he make the attempt to avoid his touch. He actually moved into it, nuzzling his cheek into the warmth of Jongin’s palm, like a cornered animal granting the touch of a reckless human. It was how Jongin felt, standing this close to Minseok, touching him, torn between wanting to move closer and fearing the moment the older man would attack or startle away. It was actually painful, the thought of not being able to touch him.
“I really want to kiss you. I need to kiss you. Please let me.”
There was a flash of something across Minseok’s face - not rejection, but not outright permission either. It seemed as if he was trying to talk himself out of something he desperately wanted and Jongin knew he couldn’t let him do it. He just couldn’t.
Sinking down on his knees in front of Minseok he tipped his head up until he could reach the sharp line of the elder’s jaw, until he could whisper another plea against smooth, hot skin. “Let me, please.”
Minseok didn’t let him. Instead he felt his own lips captured a mere heartbeat later, wonder exploding in his chest and a groan of both surrender and relief rumbling up through his tight throat. What happened next was a bit of a blur, the meeting of plush lips, hot glide of tongues, tightening of fingers in his damp hair and the press of the mattress beneath this back, as Minseok all but dragged him onto the bed and under him. Spreading his legs to let Minseok settle between his thighs was pure instinct, as was the slow drag of his fingers down the long expanse of Minseok’s back, the tightening of his grasp as he could finally dig his fingers into the older man’s firm buttocks and rock up against the hard body on top of him. Their groans were almost identical, the sounds fed into each other’s slick mouths and with a dizzying wave of relief Jongin felt Minseok take up a steady rhythm between his legs. The friction of the loose fabric against his hardening cock was almost painful, but the young man didn’t even care as he eagerly rocked up into the smooth rolls of Minseok’s hips.
He was hot, shivers of delight tingling down his spine and along his limbs, only to pool low in his belly, pressure mounting until it got almost too much to bear. Wrenching his mouth away from Minseok’s he threw his head back and panted his desperation into the tense silence around them - only broken by the sounds of their heavy breathing and the steady creaking of the bed.
Sleep was tugging at him, insistent and oh so tempting, but Jongin still had something to say - something important - so he struggled against the fog of exhaustion that was trying to drag him under and searched for the right words.
“I know we only met yesterday and that we know almost nothing about each other. I also know you think I’m too young, but… I really like you and I’d like to try. This.” A deep, shuddering breath. “Us.”
For several moments the steady rising and falling of Minseok’s bare chest beneath his cheek was the only movement from the older man, until he resumed his slow petting motion. Softly carding his fingers through Jongin’s hair it took him almost a full minute to respond.
“Okay.”
Just one word, but they both knew it meant so much more.
Jongin had fallen asleep in the warm circle of Minseok’s arms, but woke to an empty bed and the other man’s luggage gone from where he had placed it right beside the door. His instinctive reaction was panic, startling upright on the bed with sick dread rippling outwards from his chest, but then he discovered the little slip of paper on the bedside table and snatched it up so quickly, he almost tumbled off the edge of the mattress.
Call me when you’re back in Seoul and a series of numbers. Nothing more. Nevertheless Jongin fell back on the bed with a sigh, clutching the piece of paper to his chest and letting a small smile tug at his lips.
One year later
The cold evening air cut harshly through the fabric of Jongin’s jacket as he led his band up the stairs from their basement rehearsal room and out onto the icy pavement. He and Sehun had talked about whining at Luhan until their frontman agreed to drive them both home, but one look at the car parked at the curb in front of him and the man leaning back against the side of it and Jongin knew his friend would have to fight for himself.
“There he is, the bane of my existence.” Luhan’s voice from behind Jongin was only half teasing. “Do you think you two could actually have a real fight one of these days? A temporary break-up would be nice, as well. If I have to sing one more of Jongin’s song about how wonderful it is to be in love, I’ll barf. We’re a rock band, for God’s sake! It’s not right!”
Sehun’s “Jealousy and envy look kinda good on you, hyung”, the following curses and Chanyeol’s booming laughter as Luhan grabbed their youngest member into a one-armed chokehold barely registered. Instead Jongin stepped up to his boyfriend, pulled down the scarf from where it was covering the bottom half of Minseok’s face and leaned forward for a soft kiss.
“Let’s go home,“ the older man murmured against Jongin’s lips, gloved hand possessively cupping the back of his neck. “You’re not wearing nearly enough clothes for this weather again.”
“Yeah, let’s go home. I’ll let you warm me up.”
Jongin returned Minseok’s amused smile to the sound of Luhan’s utterly disgusted retching.