020. Glow, DongHae/Kibum
020 Glow, DongHae/KiBum
Words 764
Rating PG
You can close your eyes and tell me,
That you are a visionary
And maybe you're a little scary
But you take my breath away
KiBum can still remember the very first time he met DongHae. Nervousness, and upset stomachs, and everyone looking round at each other awkwardly, not knowing what to say. And then him, the loon, the ball of energy, bouncing off the walls and talking to everyone excitedly, and all ready for singing and dancing and everything. Intimidating, and certainly not the kind of person who KiBum usually associated with. But said hyper-storm happened to bounce his way and started talking to him and insisted, simply insisted that he come have lunch with him. How could a kid like that know that stardom was for them?
“So DongHae, you really want to be a popstar?”
“Not really....but it's a pretty good back up to being a spaceman, isn't it?”
False innocence irritated KiBum to the maximum. But he believed in DongHae's whole-heartedly. He fell pretty fast.
When you say you'll always be there
It paints such a lovely picture
But no matter how you frame it
It's still pornography
It seemed like they had been training such a long time. This was their fourth year together. But he couldn't say anything. How could he? Telling DongHae that he was in love with him was like..... asking a puppy dog to perform open heart surgery. The other boy was too innocent. So instead, he just stuck to protecting that innocence. Hard, when the world was so cold.
“Please DongHae, stop crying...”
“But it's s-s-s-so hard.....and I m-m-miss my family...”
“Oh really? And what about me?”
“...what?”
“Amn't I part of your family?”
“..... Of course. We'll always have each other, won't be we KiBum?We are gonna, I know it.”
KiBum wasn't much for those kinda promises. But still, DongHae had said it. It was them two, always. No way it could be a lie.
Nobody seems to hear,
Till I scream and shout
Even if you tie me down
And you blow my candle out
I'll still Glow.
It hurt so bad when Hae finally admitted that he was dating HyukJae, and had been since they debuted. How was that possible? What right had EunHyuk to him? It was KiBum who had stuck with him through thick and thin. KiBum who had held him when he had broken down crying. KiBum who had always stood right at his side. He was the one who loved him. Not HyukJae. No, no, he couldn't love him anymore, DongHae had chosen. They were just friends.
“Isn't it great Bummie?”
“Yeah.”
“I mean, I didn't even want to ask him, and I was so nervous, and I was sure he was gonna say no, but then he said yes, and now we're dating. I'm dating. Isn't that great though?”
“Yeah.”
But he couldn't stop. How could he? So many years of biting his lip, choking back confessions when he had thought the time was just right, because of his own cowardice. Innocence could only be an excuse for so long.
I'll still Glow.
I'll be the perfect person
That you'll never know.
Even Baby DongHae would end up dating eventually. It could have been him. Why did it have to hurt so much? Why did he have to fall in love?
“How do you know when you're in love?”
“What?”
“How do you know when you're-”
“I heard you. I mean, why are you asking that?”
“Just wondering. HyukJae told me he loved me. I'm pretty sure I love him too. I mean, is it just this great great feeling? Like amazing? I think this must be love.”
It hurt too much. He was breaking inside, and all he needed was to talk, but the only person who could understand was the one person he could tell. This was hurting him so deep, this was why he didn't let his walls down. It was so much safer. He wanted to hate Hae, wipe the other clean out of his heart. But that was impossible. So instead, when he sees them together, he stays quiet, and bites down on his lip to stop confessions bursting forth, till he can taste his own blood. He'll leave the room, wipe and his lip, and stare at the blood on his thumb till tears cloud his vision and his heart begins to ache. But it's impossible to stop loving someone, no matter how much hurt they cause you.
I'll still Glow.