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[forgotthewords]

The truth is that I feel really really worthless and I just want to run away back to somewhere that I belong. I don't know what I thought I was doing here pretending that I could I have been smart enough or motivated enough or somehow good enough if I had done X, Y, and Z. It's not true. When it comes down to it, I don't measure up and the

Comments

[colastrawberry]

Okay babe, I realize you're feeling like shit over the whole college thing, & I'm not gonna tell you not to, coz this week I've been reminded of just how annoying & patronizing that is, but I will jump right in & say that your American college application system is a load of bollox.
I mean, really, all this extra curricular shite & continuous assesment is a total headfuck - no one can be perfect & committed & that bloody active all the time, & to judge someone's fucking worth on that is a load of crap. I mean our system isn't great either, but at least we can just cram our asses off a week before the exams, whereas you guys have to basically turn yourselves into Little Miss Activities for most of high school to get colleges' approval. It's bullshit Ali, you're smart enough to realize this. If you're going to think you're not good enough, let it be because you haven't done what YOU want to do, not some board of directors who've never met you.
College is college, no matter where it is or how elitist and up their own asses they are. There are gonna be smart people, ignorant people, amazing people (&hopefully a few hot ones thrown in there somewhere...), & you're gonna experience it all. No, it may not be where you wanted it to be, but hey, you're judging colleges by their brochures, & as you know by now, things shouldn't be judged on what they look like on paper.
It'll work out babe, & until then I hear Walker's got some very cute pics of Bambi to cheer you up...