(no subject)
2013 was this big, insane, crazy year for me. it was (really and truly) like five years rolled into one year, and i think part of me needs it to just be over and another part of me is still unpacking it and one part is hoping we can squeeze a bit more out of it, and all of me just feels relieved. relieved and a little melancholy and, most of all, i suppose, full of hope.
i visited las vegas and san francisco and got into a room at the Madonna Inn and saw the postal service (at the same time even). i learned to like sushi, the Valley, and how to stay up until 4 AM on a school night; the keys to modern successful living. i held an alligator and got a job and attended castings for not one but two reality shows (why not), neither of which really went anywhere.
i worked tirelessly with samantha and those hours we spent together standing around that table or shoving buckets of water in and out of the refrigerators are some of my favorite (oh, it is such a joy to Know Good Women!).
i moved out of my apartment- my sweet, beloved apartment in the sky. i slept on a deflated (why) air mattress for four months. i left my job with an amazing troupe of people that i loved. i gave away almost everything i owned save for a precious few things deemed too valuable to be left to a curb or a thrift shop and put them in a car with my dad and some ginger cat cookies and drove east.
we drove east for ten days and crossed deserts high and low and mountains and the panhandles of both Texas and Oklahoma. we saw the birthplaces and places of death for so many people and tiptoed through elvis presley's house and all ten nights i cried alone in bed for the people and life i had left behind. there was Peace in it all, but i have to be honest and tell you that i felt confused and not at all sure.
and when i got here, it was no better (even though it was so much better), but so much of me was (and still is) so disengaged from the home i made here-- from the home i am trying every single day to make here. the "why" is still here, just as present in my mind, even when everything Else is falling so much further behind me.
and i got a job. such a wonderful, fulfiling job - the job i never ever could have even asked of for myself (and i was asked).
i love my coworkers and i love going to our studio every day. i love our weird coffee machine and i love going to the same restaurant 3 times a week and i love when our studio director literally told me to "get up there and dance, woman!" (re: walking on our 20' stone conference table barefoot, taking pictures of carpet for a presentation).
and then there were all of these other things in 2013. watching the people i love grow and fall in love and commit themselves to each other forever. watching friends make families. finding a clearer idea of what i want for myself on a coupla different levels.
but mostly learning to like sushi
i visited las vegas and san francisco and got into a room at the Madonna Inn and saw the postal service (at the same time even). i learned to like sushi, the Valley, and how to stay up until 4 AM on a school night; the keys to modern successful living. i held an alligator and got a job and attended castings for not one but two reality shows (why not), neither of which really went anywhere.
i worked tirelessly with samantha and those hours we spent together standing around that table or shoving buckets of water in and out of the refrigerators are some of my favorite (oh, it is such a joy to Know Good Women!).
i moved out of my apartment- my sweet, beloved apartment in the sky. i slept on a deflated (why) air mattress for four months. i left my job with an amazing troupe of people that i loved. i gave away almost everything i owned save for a precious few things deemed too valuable to be left to a curb or a thrift shop and put them in a car with my dad and some ginger cat cookies and drove east.
we drove east for ten days and crossed deserts high and low and mountains and the panhandles of both Texas and Oklahoma. we saw the birthplaces and places of death for so many people and tiptoed through elvis presley's house and all ten nights i cried alone in bed for the people and life i had left behind. there was Peace in it all, but i have to be honest and tell you that i felt confused and not at all sure.
and when i got here, it was no better (even though it was so much better), but so much of me was (and still is) so disengaged from the home i made here-- from the home i am trying every single day to make here. the "why" is still here, just as present in my mind, even when everything Else is falling so much further behind me.
and i got a job. such a wonderful, fulfiling job - the job i never ever could have even asked of for myself (and i was asked).
i love my coworkers and i love going to our studio every day. i love our weird coffee machine and i love going to the same restaurant 3 times a week and i love when our studio director literally told me to "get up there and dance, woman!" (re: walking on our 20' stone conference table barefoot, taking pictures of carpet for a presentation).
and then there were all of these other things in 2013. watching the people i love grow and fall in love and commit themselves to each other forever. watching friends make families. finding a clearer idea of what i want for myself on a coupla different levels.
but mostly learning to like sushi