(no subject)
it is 95 degrees outside and i am drinking peppermint hot cocoa to soothe my aching body and weary heart
i have just been so head down/plowing forward i did not realize that i am now going on 2.5 months without working, which has been a really good thing. the plowing forward, not the prolonged unemployment. it keeps my anxiety in check, which is now creeping up behind me and whispering nasty lies into my ear. (hence the cocoa).
like--oooo, you have had nip after nip on the line and turned them all down because they are in californiaaaa. you could've had a JOB by now, a real job in a tall building with a glamorous view and a paycheck.
or ooooo, you had an interview and two days later they wanted to bring you to virginia to meet and talk. you could've HAD A JOB BY NOW.
or oooooooooooooooo, you are worthless and BOY are you blowing it and face it honey; it's been almost a year and a half and no one wants you because you're an unemployable, undesirable candidate.
lies lies lies, but creeping up on me.
i'm doing everything i can but the thing is that it feels like you're failing until you stumble through an open door.
i have just been so head down/plowing forward i did not realize that i am now going on 2.5 months without working, which has been a really good thing. the plowing forward, not the prolonged unemployment. it keeps my anxiety in check, which is now creeping up behind me and whispering nasty lies into my ear. (hence the cocoa).
like--oooo, you have had nip after nip on the line and turned them all down because they are in californiaaaa. you could've had a JOB by now, a real job in a tall building with a glamorous view and a paycheck.
or ooooo, you had an interview and two days later they wanted to bring you to virginia to meet and talk. you could've HAD A JOB BY NOW.
or oooooooooooooooo, you are worthless and BOY are you blowing it and face it honey; it's been almost a year and a half and no one wants you because you're an unemployable, undesirable candidate.
lies lies lies, but creeping up on me.
i'm doing everything i can but the thing is that it feels like you're failing until you stumble through an open door.