Black Bird - Chapter Nine
Black Bird
The sequel to "Let Go"
Part: 9/
Genre: A/U Hancest, Romance, Drama
Pairing: Tike (Eventually. Not portrayed as brothers)
POV: JORDAN
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Adult language and themes, but nothing too heavy here. :)
Word Count: 5266
The piercing scream of a siren cut through the silence that had pooled between the two men. Jordan looked over his shoulder towards the window, his eyes following a big red fire engine as it raced between rows of shouldered cars on the street below. The entire city paused, if only for a few seconds, to allow the emergency vehicles to race to their destination.
"Why don't we go outside?"
"On the balcony?" Jordan asked, feeling his heart begin to race a little bit. It was troubling enough for him to know that he was on the highest floor, but to go outside would mean that he'd have to face the truth with his eyes.
Isaac smiled gently, the corners of his lips creasing in harmony with the faintest lines beside his eyes. Jordan couldn't help but notice all of the tiny details that he had been able to forget. The memories of the night they'd shared once before felt far away, further than the night itself, nearly two months prior. Even his best dreams, the ones where he and Isaac had relived the evening again and again couldn't compare to the way it was to stand just inches from him, in 'real life'. He had forgotten just how perfect his complexion was, how soft his skin appeared and how good he smelled.
"No, on the roof." Isaac grinned and rolled his eyes halfway. "If I knew you any better... I'd say you're afraid of heights, Jordan."
"A-ha..." Jordan licked his lips and smiled back as he gazed into Isaac's warm mahogany coloured eyes. "But, you don't know me any better, hm?"
"Touche." Isaac beamed. "Come, then."
Jordan felt a shiver race up and down his limbs, coursing through like the rush over a river when Isaac slid his palm onto his lower back. Gently guiding him from behind, Isaac lead them both towards the large glass door that faced the balcony. Jordan could feel his heart pounding like thunder in his chest, racing on account of not only how nice it felt to have Isaac's strong hand against the smallest part of his back but also for what was just ahead of him. Isaac opened up the door and the cool air danced on his skin, leaving goosebumps.
"After you." Isaac whispered close enough to Jordan's ear that he could feel the warmth of his breath and then moved his hand away and stepped back.
Jordan had no choice but to step out into the night. Surrounding him from every side were bright city lights in every colour. Tall orange and yellow lights marked the streets in rows and columns, up and down and back and forth. He could see too many to count, too many to recognize. His own was somewhere, far, far in the distance and to the East, out of sight. Almost out of mind. He'd always been a dreamer, lost in his own mind at almost any given time. In class, on the bus, at night before he fell asleep, he'd always found himself chasing something, wondering one thing or another. But right now, in the present, Jordan found himself a distance from his usual mind, his usual being. Life felt a little amplified, as though someone had pressed fast forward but pause, all at the same time. The tapes, the reels of his mind were jammed up a bit but one thing was certain, he knew he was in the right place.
"Pretty nice view." Isaac mused, stepping up next to Jordan and leaning without care against the guard rail to get a better look.
"Yeah..." Jordan agreed. "It is... and it's really high." He felt his cheeks burn a little bit.
"You can see everything from up here... and that's what I love so much about this apartment." Isaac mused as he looked out over the city.
Jordan stepped a little closer to the rail, several minutes had passed without him falling to his death and he was beginning to relax. His eyes wandered all the way to the left and then back over to the right, there were too many things to take in at once. Clutching his beer, he brought the glass bottle to his lips and had a sip.
"Tell me something." Isaac looked towards Jordan with a curious smile.
Jordan swallowed the beer in his mouth and nodded. "Ask me anything."
Except about my past job. Or that night. Or any of the nights, really. There were a lot of things that Jordan didn't want to talk about, but he had to play it cool. He had a trusting feeling that Isaac wasn't going to ask him anything too dark.
"Can you see home from here?"
He exhaled slowly and turned back towards the city. In the far east, he could see the orange lights of the highway that would lead to his subdivision. A very distant shadowy row of trees. He raised his arm and pointed his finger out the best he could.
"Over there, East end." His tongue washed over his lips before he glanced over to Isaac.
"You're a fair ways." Isaac responded and seemed to pause.
Jordan couldn't help but wonder what Isaac was thinking. His eyes travelled briefly over his face but then he looked back at the city. "Not a short bus ride, no."
"Your turn." Isaac suddenly countered and Jordan felt his cheeks burn with blush for no particular reason when Isaac looked his way and smiled playfully.
"Huh?" He stammered, smiling back despite the quickening pace of his heart.
"Ask me something." Isaac smiled and stepped a little closer. "If you want, that is."
Jordan let out a breath and felt a bit relieved; he couldn't quite decide what to question Isaac about, however. At first he considered asking about his job - or lack there of, but quickly decided that Isaac probably wouldn't appreciate his trodding into that territory. He would need to ask something a lot more simple. He wondered what it was people talked about on their first dates - not that this was really a first date, but it was the starting over of... something. He chewed hesitantly at his lower lip and then finally decided the perfect question.
"What's your favourite movie?"
Isaac smiled wider - seeming almost relieved that Jordan had asked him something so casual. A little surprised. Should he have asked him something deeper? He shifted his weight around and looked over the city, it surprised him still each time he looked just how high up he was, but it was definitely not as frightening as it had been at first. He could probably even get used to it, perhaps enjoy it.
"Ghost Busters." Isaac answered with a cheesy grin.
Jordan couldn't help but laugh. It had been a long time since he'd watched the film, but he could distinctly remember the first time he'd seen it.
"It's been ages since I've seen that..." Jordan smiled. "But I'll tell you something."
"What's that?"
Jordan looked away from Isaac, suddenly feeling a little less confident about his upcoming confession. He took a deep breath. "I was about twelve when it came out... and my friend Ritchie and I wanted to see it sooo bad."
Isaac nodded. "It was sold out for like a week."
"Yeah, everyone wanted to see it... problem was, was that we had no money."
Isaac raised his brows with curiosity, but let Jordan continue. Jordan felt his stomach tighten up a little bit and hoped that Isaac wouldn't judge him for what he was about to say. A long time had passed since his first crime committed, but he still felt guilty about it if he let himself remember it. "So... Ritchie and I snook in. We didn't get caught, but I was so afraid that someone would walk in and arrest us that I couldn't even enjoy the movie."
Isaac chuckled. "You were a little punk, weren't you?"
Jordan wasn't sure what to say, he just shrugged and felt his cheeks blush as he released another steady breath - Isaac didn't seem too judgemental or angry about what his story. Silence gathered between them but it didn't feel awkward or uncomfortable. A few moments passed before Isaac shuffled a little closer and took the last long drink of his beer.
"Can I get you another?" He tapped his beer bottle against Jordan's.
Jordan spun around a little too quickly and his body bumped into Isaac's. The older gentleman laughed quietly and put his arm out to brace the blond as he stumbled slightly. "On second thought, maybe you've had enough." Isaac teased.
Jordan blushed and glanced at his bottle - also empty. He wished that he could stay and have another drink, another two or even three. Part of him even wanted to stay the night, but he knew that if he did, he'd get wrapped up in things that were better left for later. Instead of allowing his hand to fall away, Isaac's fingers lingered on Jordan's exposed wrist. Neither man seemed able to meet the other's eyes and after a few seconds, Isaac moved his hand away. Jordan cursed himself for being such a chicken.
"I would love to have another... but I really better get going home, it's a long bus ride." Jordan frowned as he looked out over the city.
At the other end, a tiny girl was asleep in her bed but still expecting a kiss good night. He had made a promise to his sister that he'd be home every night to kiss his niece and be there in the morning to help fix her breakfast while her mother got ready for work. Jordan sacrificed most of the time that he could be sleeping to take care of Dylan so that Jessica wouldn't have the additional expense - or worry, of day care. He watched her four or five days a week, sometimes a little more and sometimes, but not often, a little less. It was a lot of work, but he had grown accustomed to the commitment and so he knew that if he stayed up much longer, he'd never be able to stay awake all day to watch her while Jessica worked her short Saturday shift at the diner. He considered explaining the situation to Isaac, something about him made him feel as though he were trust worthy... but another part of him willed himself to remain quiet. Isaac didn't need to know too much just yet. Jordan couldn't help but feel that some things were better left to the imagination, especially when it came to explaining your life to someone who seemed to come an entirely different background. Of course, he knew better than to judge a book by it's cover. He wondered what secrets Isaac might have of his own and if he might ever be lucky enough to be indulged with them.
Isaac frowned but then dug into his pocket for his phone. "No need to take the bus, I'll call you a cab."
"No - no, it's okay" Jordan shook his head, feeling anxious about just what the cost of the fare across the city would be.
"Really, Jordan. It's on me." Isaac smiled. "I'm the one that dragged you out here in the middle of the night."
Jordan felt his shoulders relax a little bit. He murmured a soft thank you that didn't nearly sum up just how appreciative he felt for Isaac's kindness. It was a bit surprising that Isaac now, even after he'd been such an ass hole, seemed so much the same as he had when they'd first met. Jordan had assumed, of course, that some of Isaac's kindness had been brought on by the fact that Jordan had been called there to sleep with him. Being angry and nasty wasn't really the sort of manner that was called for - but as Jordan had also learned, one could never really know what to expect.
"I just need your address." Isaac said as he held the phone away from his ear.
Jordan rattled it off, thankful that Isaac didn't seem to recognize his exact location. Windmill Road wasn't exactly the safest one, but it wasn't the worst, either. People talked a lot about not going there at night, and the sort of people who owned and rented (mostly rented) property there, but Jordan knew the real rough parts of the city. The people who "looked" like the ones who your mom and dad told you to be afraid of, were sometimes the exact opposite. A rough looking guy with dozens of tattoos and a few extra holes in his face, had given Jordan his last bus ticket in the middle of a heavy rain storm a couple years ago. In the nicer parts of the city, he could recall fancy SUV's with gleaming hubcaps that drove purposefully into puddles close to where he was walking. Jordan could practically hear the cackles of laughter that must have rose as they witnessed him trudging along, soaking wet. He looked out over the city as Isaac ended the call by providing his credit card information and wondered just how he'd wound back up on Isaac's balcony. He felt lucky for it, without really being sure why. It was too early to get one's hopes up.
"The cab will be about twenty minutes." Isaac explained. "Shall we go back inside?"
"Sure." Jordan agreed without feeling too strongly one way or another, he was happy enough, however, to follow Isaac back inside.
Isaac closed the sliding glass door behind them and then gingerly took the empty bottle from Jordan's hand and carried both off to the kitchen to dispose of them.
"Make yourself at home." Isaac instructed, his voice carrying across the open concept loft area. Jordan watched as he flitted around the beautifully designed kitchen, wiping down the granite counter and then doing a quick survey of the fridge. "Do you want a drink of anything? Water?"
"Thanks, Isaac... but it's really okay." Jordan smiled and sat down slowly on a leather Ottoman. He didn't want to sound greedy and his mother had taught him that asking for seconds was selfish.
Isaac sauntered back into the room a few moments later, carrying a frosty water bottle and taking a swig from it before sitting down on the couch opposite. Jordan wondered where to begin the conversation, began to dread the awkward silence that might linger. Fortunately, Isaac filled the space, he always seemed to know what to say and for that, Jordan was thankful. He was more of a listener than a talker, it had always been that way.
"Do you like your new job?"
Jordan grinned. "No, not especially."
Isaac chuckled.
"But, as bad as it sounds, it's an upgrade."
Isaac's smile faded as his eyes flickered over to meet Jordan's stare. Jordan swallowed around the lump in his throat and as his stomach flopped, he began to regret the confession. He could see that Isaac was thinking about it a lot more thoroughly than he'd expected him to. He'd meant to say it lightly as a passing statement, but Isaac didn't really "get" it.
"I guess ..." Isaac paused on the next word, seemingly unsure of how to continue. "What... you... did..."
Jordan shifted his weight around a bit and looked down and back. Isaac was struggling and Jordan wished that he knew the right way to finish the sentence for him. There wasn't really a graceful way to explain the profession of a whore, after all. For Jordan, it had become an every day acceptance, not exactly something he was proud of, but something he'd grown to live with. He knew the profession a lot better than most did, he knew it well enough to know that not everyone who fell into it, fell under the same stereotype.
"Obviously, my last job wasn't a great one..." Jordan's tongue washed over his drying lips as he paused. "But there is worse."
Isaac nodded. "Can I ask you something?"
Jordan held his breath, knowing full well that this question wasn't going to be nearly as innocent as the first. Nor was it going to be anything like 'what's your favourite movie'. Despite knowing he was wading into potentially dangerous territory, he simply nodded. "Ask me anything."
Isaac was silent for several long moments, so many, in fact, that Jordan began to wonder - and hope, just a little, that he'd lost his courage. It was apparent that the older man was unsure of how to tiptoe around the subject, it was also obvious that it wasn't a topic that he knew much about. Why should he?
"You... didn't want to do it, did you?"
Jordan shook his head. "I don't think many people do." He'd expected to feel a lot more anxious or keyed up, but instead, he felt rather calm. There was something to be proud of, he thought, knowing that he'd walked away from the situation he was describing. It was him before, but it wasn't him now. If he was really honest with himself, he knew that it was never really a definition of himself at all. He also knew, honestly, that Isaac had no way of seeing it that way. Instead of allowing himself to worry, he focused on the present. It was before, but it was not now and it would only define him if he allowed it to.
"No, I guess you're right." Isaac acknowledged. "I'm sure you have your reasons..."
Jordan held his breath, expecting Isaac to ask him exactly why. And that was something he was not ready to divulge. He could be confident enough to explain that he'd left to find something better, but he couldn't find the words to explain what had brought him there in the first place. Nor did Isaac really need to know; deserve to know, even.
"And it's not my place to ask you." Isaac finished, looking directly into Jordan's eyes.
Jordan felt his body freeze for a split second beneath the weight of Isaac's heavy stare. His words were as solemn as his expression and if he weren't much more than a stranger, Jordan might hug him. What he saw in Isaac's face was not judgement or scrutiny, but instead some sort of... understanding. How, Isaac could understand, was beyond him, but he supposed as well that there was a lot about Isaac that he didn't know, himself.
"Maybe I'll tell you some day." Jordan gave him a weak smile, the atmosphere was far too tense and he needed to lighten it.
Isaac smiled back. "I don't expect you to, and I won't ask about it again..." his voice trailed off. "Really, Jordan... I'd like nothing more than to just start over... what's in the past, is in the past. As far as I'm concerned, I don't know anything about you."
"Then what am I doing in your apartment?" Jordan couldn't help but tease as a smile stretched over his lips.
Isaac grinned back. "Good question... I should really take the time to get to know people better before inviting them up."
Jordan chuckled. "A little late for that now."
"Well..." Isaac mused. "What are you doing tomorrow night?"
Jordan frowned. "Babysitting." He blurted it out before he could think twice about the implications.
Sure enough, Isaac raised his brows for a second and an obvious question crossed his mind. Jordan nibbled on his lip as he watched the older gentleman's expression shift.
"That sounds... fun." He commented instead.
Jordan responded with a slow smile. "I'm used to it... it's just my niece, she's not so terrible."
Isaac nodded and seemed to decide against asking anything more. "How about Sunday?"
"Sunday... I am free." Jordan smiled, appreciating the fact that he actually had weekends to himself now. His new job might not be the most glamorous, but it did offer him the luxury of working only Monday to Friday... even if it were at night. The entire weekend to himself, Saturday to get his errands done and Sunday to just relax... maybe watch some movies with the little one... it was a treat that he'd already grown to love. "What were you thinking?"
Isaac raised his brows for a moment, perhaps a little surprise by the boldness of Jordan's question. But Jordan couldn't help but be curious - just what did Isaac want to do, on a Sunday evening of all things? And secondly, with him. Being here at all, it still felt a little surreal. Sure, he'd hoped that the little... crush, he had on Isaac went both ways... but he knew better than to count on it.
"If you must know, Jordan... I was hoping you'd join me for supper." Isaac looked serious for a moment and then smiled gently before adding; "Somewhere nice."
Jordan wasn't sure what to make of 'somewhere nice', because when he thought of a nice restaurant to eat out at, he thought of Garden Buffet. A giant, Chinese - themed buffet that his mother absolutely adored - they used to go there almost every holiday. But otherwise, the family didn't eat out very often at all - too expensive. Whatever Isaac had in mind, Jordan knew that he'd likely enjoy it, because when it came to food he wasn't too picky. He hated however, the idea of Isaac paying for the bill himself, so he hoped that he'd be able to find something modest on the menu, at least.
"I'd like that." Jordan smiled. "Should I... meet you somewhere?"
Isaac shook his head. "Leave it to me." He smiled confidently and Jordan watched as Isaac paused and seemed to wonder about something, he could practically see the wheels spinning and he felt curious. Isaac was full of surprises and kept him guessing - he liked that. A lot.
"Actually, can you keep your afternoon free, too?" Isaac added after a moment or two. His smile had grown even wider, his warm brown eyes glimmered with something Jordan couldn't quite put his finger on. But it seemed happy, at least.
Unsure of exactly what to say, he just nodded instead, trying his best to hide how excited he was feeling, A quiet but pleasant moment between them and just when Jordan decided he should say something - anything, the sound of Isaac's ring tone cut through the silence. Isaac flinched a little and then dug into his pocket, mouthing a quick "sorry". Jordan licked his lips and turned away, glancing towards the window and out over the city. It was probably the cab, and soon, he'd be home, the other end of the city. Each and every one of his limbs felt weak, heavy with exhaustion. Cleaning was harder work than it looked, mostly he just wasn't used to being on his feet for so long. He wished he'd spent the entire evening with Isaac.
"Your ride is here." Isaac interrupted his thoughts and he realized that he'd gotten a little more lost in his own head than he'd intended.
Jordan turned towards him, meeting his eyes and seeing a sort of sadness. A heavy feeling that lingered in his chest seemed to match what he was being reflected. He didn't really want to say goodbye, though he knew that it wasn't going to be long until he saw Isaac again. He urged himself to toughen up a little bit and nibbled on his lip.
"I had a nice time."
Isaac smiled. "You're sweet, but all I did was give you a drink."
Jordan chuckled, feeling his cheeks burn. He didn't want to say it, but he knew that the slightly older gentleman could impress him quite easily. A simple drink and a nice view, a few moments of quiet conversation had been a perfectly wonderful end to his night. He only wished that he could prolong it a little bit, but the ache in his body told him that it was time to go for good reason. He needed his rest.
"I still had a nice time." He insisted.
"I did too." Isaac smiled and then sighed. "I'll walk you down."
Jordan noticed that Isaac seemed to linger, he'd decided that he'd take him down and yet didn't move. His eyes remained locked on Jordan's and the blond felt his body began to warm up, a familiar sensation in the pit of his stomach. Almost a pins and needles sort of excitement. Maybe Isaac wanted to kiss him?
"Let's go" Isaac said suddenly instead and reached for Jordan's hand.
Holding his breath, Jordan accepted the soft fingers and strong embrace. Isaac led him to the door and then held it open for him to leave first. Jordan waited as Isaac locked up and then felt himself blush when he reached once more for his hand. The walk to the elevator was quiet, and still no words were exchanged as they began the quick descent with the car to themselves. Jordan looked through the giant windows without feeling afraid, his mind was far too distracted by everything that had come about. It seemed almost as though it were impossible to feel anything except warm and pleasant. Jordan decided that he could get used to this feeling.
What he didn't think he could get used to, however, was saying goodbye. He'd never been particularly good at it; no matter who it involved. He was either awkward or miserable. In this case, he was leaning more towards wanting to be sad, without actually feeling that way. Instead it was a heavy sort of anxiety, as if a final impression should be made.
Before he knew it, they were at the doors and sure enough, a black taxi waited outside. Isaac squeezed Jordan's hand and pulled him a little closer. Jordan held his breath and got the feeling once again that Isaac was considering doing something, but perhaps with the car waiting or with the lobby being surprisingly busy, he squeezed one last time and let out a quiet sigh.
"I'll see you Sunday?"
Jordan nodded and gave him a thin smile as all of his nerves seemed to jump up into his throat. Speaking, once again, felt impossible. Isaac made him nervous in the same way that a fourteen year old girl must feel when she talks to her crush. Not that Jordan thought he should know what that felt like.
"Definitely. I can't wait."
"Me either." Isaac grinned and blushed a little bit. " Good night, Jordan."
"Good night."
--
Jordan could feel the exhaustion setting in as he stared out the cab window as they sat in traffic. The driver hadn't picked the most swift route and they'd run into congestion in the entertainment district as everyone else seemed to be going home at the same time. The night had felt long but it had been worth it; Isaac had been the only thing on his mind since the second he'd slid into the passenger seat. He couldn't help but wonder what Sunday would entail.
As they drove on, the streets began to look more and more familiar. The car turned onto his street and he counted the houses; six; red with falling shingles. Five, four, three, two, a mini row of duplex style town houses, and then his own town house, separate yet vastly unchanged. The driver parked the car and Jordan reached for his wallet.
"The ride is paid, sir." The driver said.
Jordan reached into his wallet for a five dollar bill, regardless and wished the driver a good night. He stood on his driveway for a moment as the cab pulled back and then disappeared down the street and out of sight. Home. The only light left on was on the tiny front porch and Jordan was especially careful to be quiet as he made his way to the door. Turning his key in the lock, he heard the sound of his sisters Yorkshire terrier barking to announce his arrival.
"Tonka! Hush!" Jordan scolded the dog as it yipped and bounced around his feet, finally quieting down only after Jordan crouched to pet it. When the dog had enough attention, it scampered off and Jordan untied his shoes. He let out a sigh as he wandered his way to the kitchen and turned on a light, flooding the familiar room in a warm glow. A note was left on the stove next to a bag of his favourite flavour of Ruffles chips.
"Hope it isn't too late when you read this - Dinner is in the fridge if you are hungry. - Night, Jess."
Jordan made his way across the old linoleum tiles and pulled open the heavy door of the fridge. The shelves weren't nearly as full as he wished they were; they needed to do a good shopping trip. But as promised, there was a plate next to a carton of milk and a few cans of soda. Chicken fingers and mashed potatoes, probably the instant kind. Never the less, his stomach grumbled and he realized that the last time he'd eaten had been hours ago.
After finishing his supper, he rinsed his dishes and put them in the dishwasher. Finally, bed was in sight. As he turned off the kitchen light and began to climb the stairs, he heard a familiar whimpering noise. He paused and listened to be sure. A couple more whines and then a choking sob before his young niece erupted in a fit of screams.
Her mother was asleep, he was sure and so he quickly went for the bedroom door instead of the bathroom where he'd intended to freshen up. Pulling open the door, Dylan's screams became unmuffled and Jordan raced to the crib.
"Baby..." He cooed, picking up the toddler in his arms.
She whimpered and sobbed for a few more moments, wrapping her arms tightly around her uncle and burying her face in his shoulder. Jordan rocked her slowly as her crying quieted down.
"Jordan?" Suddenly Jessica's voice came from behind him. "When did you get home?" His sister asked as she turned on the bedroom light and stepped up behind him, extending her arms to take Dylan from him.
"Just twenty minutes ago, or so." Jordan replied. "I can put her back to bed."
Jessica shook her head. "It's okay, I'm up now. You look exhausted."
Jordan nodded and ran his fingers through his hair. "Yeah, I am."
"Unckie" Dylan whined and reached her arms towards him.
"I"ll see you in the morning, Princess." Jordan gave the little girl a tired smile and leaned forward to kiss her forehead.
"Goodnight, Jess."
"Night"
"Nye-Nye" Dylan cooed.
Jordan smiled. Bed was finally within his reach. A few minutes in the bathroom, he brushed his teeth and pulled his hair into a ponytail. Without bothering to turn on his light, he crossed his black bedroom and fell into his bed. He sighed as he pulled the blankets around him and allowed himself to sink into the pillow. With a deep breath, he thought about everything that had happened over the span of the night. In his mind, he started to replay it - from the moment Isaac had met him in the lobby - but before he'd even remembered the view of the city, he'd fallen asleep - content.