(no subject)
Everyday feels like Im in in the future and the present is my past. As I watch the present I realize my change.. and my happiness. Which is always followed by a realization of how lonely I am.
Charlotte does bad things to me. My expectations are too high for this city and the people in it. And every visit Im hit hard by that realization that my expectations are in my head and false.
I had a dream last night where I was on a horse/boat. I cant remember. Going through this deep deep water and all of the sudden to my right there was a city .. of the size of new york. Only the skyscrapers tops were visible.. But you could see floors of buildings with lights on .. and sheets in some windows. I told my companions (mom and diego I think) That I wanted to go there.. that we could fit our vehicle through the buildings and explore.. they said we had to keep moving. We ended up at a park in what looked like england. There was a lady with her son playing on a wooden structure. I wanted to go talk to them but we kept moving. When we arrived on horse this time for sure.. I was shocked at how no one was there. Then two people a male and female came out of this building to my right and one took a boardgame and set it down. The girl approached me and asked me to dance. She wanted to teach me. I felt wierd about it.. and turned to my mom who nodded approving. I knew there was a scheme.. and in my head I thought it was a path to find Diego. But I also didnt know if he was my companion. So I dont know.
I realized today that the jerky I was eating wasnt beef. It was ostrich. WHAT THE HELL. It doesnt help that I also ate half of it with plastic coating.
God damn woman.
Have you ever felt that you have to get someone out of your system.
Charlotte does bad things to me. My expectations are too high for this city and the people in it. And every visit Im hit hard by that realization that my expectations are in my head and false.
I had a dream last night where I was on a horse/boat. I cant remember. Going through this deep deep water and all of the sudden to my right there was a city .. of the size of new york. Only the skyscrapers tops were visible.. But you could see floors of buildings with lights on .. and sheets in some windows. I told my companions (mom and diego I think) That I wanted to go there.. that we could fit our vehicle through the buildings and explore.. they said we had to keep moving. We ended up at a park in what looked like england. There was a lady with her son playing on a wooden structure. I wanted to go talk to them but we kept moving. When we arrived on horse this time for sure.. I was shocked at how no one was there. Then two people a male and female came out of this building to my right and one took a boardgame and set it down. The girl approached me and asked me to dance. She wanted to teach me. I felt wierd about it.. and turned to my mom who nodded approving. I knew there was a scheme.. and in my head I thought it was a path to find Diego. But I also didnt know if he was my companion. So I dont know.
I realized today that the jerky I was eating wasnt beef. It was ostrich. WHAT THE HELL. It doesnt help that I also ate half of it with plastic coating.
God damn woman.
Have you ever felt that you have to get someone out of your system.