Hope
This morning I went to buy my book for the class that starts Monday. I'm pretty excited about going back to school; I'm ready to move on with my life. I'm nervous about not being able to get into the nursing program after taking all the classes I possibly can for it without actually being enrolled in the program. There's really no point in worrying about it now. Worse comes to worse, I will find another school or do it through a hospital program. I have big plans for revolutionizing the mental health care system, but I have a lot of school and experience to get through between here and there. I know I can do this.
I have had a lot of unfortunate things going on recently including a disheartening letter from my father and questions about the bridal shower, but I am fine. I'm actually surprised I'm fine. If the exact same things would have happened a few months ago, I wouldn't have left the house today to buy my book. I wouldn't be going to Karin's party tonight. I think this is proof I will be able to function in school. I have had emotional setbacks, and I am still moving on with life. I'm not letting them halt my world. I'm proud of myself. Talking to Greg last night about everything was also helpful. Having good friends always makes life easier.
I think I am also feeling a lot better because I realized last night that I have been lying to myself about some things, mainly about relationships and how I wish them to be. I have been trying to make myself believe that people felt things about me that they don't (my parents for example.) I decided to start being honest for a change. Although it may be painful, I think it would be healthiest for me in the long run. Now I just have to figure out exactly how everyone feels so I can stop deluding myself.
I have had a lot of unfortunate things going on recently including a disheartening letter from my father and questions about the bridal shower, but I am fine. I'm actually surprised I'm fine. If the exact same things would have happened a few months ago, I wouldn't have left the house today to buy my book. I wouldn't be going to Karin's party tonight. I think this is proof I will be able to function in school. I have had emotional setbacks, and I am still moving on with life. I'm not letting them halt my world. I'm proud of myself. Talking to Greg last night about everything was also helpful. Having good friends always makes life easier.
I think I am also feeling a lot better because I realized last night that I have been lying to myself about some things, mainly about relationships and how I wish them to be. I have been trying to make myself believe that people felt things about me that they don't (my parents for example.) I decided to start being honest for a change. Although it may be painful, I think it would be healthiest for me in the long run. Now I just have to figure out exactly how everyone feels so I can stop deluding myself.