Memory 003: (Backdated to after the Thanksgiving nuclear event)

[forgotten_titan]

(When Tara woke up after her first death, her initial reaction was to throw her quilt covers off and gasp for air. Dying from radiation poisoning is horrible, and the slow death had definitely hit her hard. Things get even more confusing for her when she notices that she's back in her bed, totally healthy and alive. She scrambles for the curtains;

Comments

[Mayfield High]

[apathetic_lion]

[ Guess who's going out of his way to check up on her? And by out of the way, I mean totally entering a class that isn't actually his because seriously who cares?

...Squall isn't exactly the best as expression his own emotions, but he can read others pretty well. And she doesn't look too happy. But who would be, after what had just happened? ]

Hey.

[forgotten_titan]

Hey.

(She can monotone too! And offer one sentence replies!)

[apathetic_lion]

[ She's such a fast learner! He should be so proud. ]

They got to you too, huh?

[ Yeah, dying a slow, painful death isn't the best feeling in the world. Especially when you're alone. ]

[forgotten_titan]

Yeah, they did. It...it was horrible.

(She turns her face away from him to hide the fear in her eyes. But her body still shakes at the memory of vomiting blood and wasting away to a high fever.)

[apathetic_lion]

[ He'll take this as a cue to slump over on his desk, closing his eyes to try and remember just what happened during those days. Maybe he could make some sense of it if he did. ]

...I don't get it. Why go through the trouble of torturing people just to reset everything again?

[forgotten_titan]

Maybe that's the torture.

(She slumps over her desk too, resting her chin on her arms.)

I mean, some people here say that the town does horrible things to you every month, especially near the holidays. People are starting to worry about Christmas next.

[apathetic_lion]

A never-ending routine of torture.

[ 'Trying to push us past the point of breaking each time. Some form of punishment, maybe? But what did any of us do to deserve this?'

Things were always on his mind, but he still didn't see the point in vocalizing them. Besides, with the state she was in, she didn't really need to hear his morbid thoughts. He'll just let out a sigh. ]

Fight. That's all we can do. Fight against them with every bit ounce of strength you have. Even if it's purely mental strength.

[forgotten_titan]

I wish I could. But I'm not strong, whether it's physical or mental. I can't take care of myself, I can't save my friends, I can't help anyone!!

(Her voice gets angrier and angrier as she speaks, letting out some feelings that have been bottled up inside.)

And even if I try, I just mess things up. I'm just useless.

[apathetic_lion]

[ And that'll cause him to slam a fist down on his desk and shoot a glare to her. More out of annoyance than anger. ]

Don't give me that shit. Everyone has potential. You've only decided to give up before you've ever really tried. You're saying you're useless? You know why? Because you're not doing anything to change that. You have to be willing to make changes and sacrifices, to constantly train yourself until you're finally what you want to be.

[forgotten_titan]

Hey, I did try!

(She stares back at him fiercely.)

When everything blew up, I didn't give up. I searched for food, tools, anything useful I could find. And when those crazy people attacked, I didn't just run and hide. I stayed to fight and help others!! Even when-

(And that's when the memory hits her hard and her voice dies halfway. Her body starts trembling again, and she feels the urge to vomit. She quickly lurches away from him, one hand over her mouth. She can almost taste the blood tang in her mouth.)

[apathetic_lion]

[ ...Oh. He didn't exactly mean to bring anything like that up. He was just trying to give her some awkward encouragement. Obviously this has gone horribly wrong. Doesn't help that Squall isn't the best person at handling his own emotions, much less someone else's. He'll just end up sighing and throwing his head back. ]

Then don't say you can't do anything. You just proved you did. It doesn't matter how ineffectual you may have been. You have to repeat something over a least a million times before you can ever hope to be confident.

[forgotten_titan]

(She doesn't want to die a million times over again Squall, before she gets confident. That might just break her instead. However, she takes a deep, deep breath and steadies herself. A good talk with Ruri earlier had really helped.)

I know. I guess...everything's just a bit too much now. All this dying...

(She shakes her head, sad.)

I mean, I'm just a normal school girl; the most dangerous thing I've come into contact with is trigonometry, not people out to eat me. I know that a normal life is not an option anymore, not here, and I'm trying to accept that, but...

...I think I probably need more time.

[apathetic_lion]

[ Geez he didn't mean dying a million times silly! Then again he's sort of died before this incident so it really doesn't bother him as much oops... ]

Then take all the time you need. My offer still stands, regardless. I'm not going to pressure you into anything, so you can come when you're ready.

[forgotten_titan]

...thanks Squall. I'm still trying to find those practice swords; I put out a call a few weeks ago, but I never got anything back. I might try putting up posters next.