living in shit
its so depressing to live in shit. the depressing is ever present and never lets the good shine through. seeing the good through this cloudy film of shit is one of my greatest attributes. but sometimes i can no longer find humor in sadness. and can no longer laugh. but just sit and ponder my life choices and dwell on the past and the decisions i have made. i find myself questioning my every move. i have nothing to be happy about. i have loyal friends but friends cannot do for you what love can. only love fills the void. i believe that you are born with half a soul, and when u find love your souls meld. hence the term "soul mate". i dont know what i want in life. i confuse myself with thoughts that constantly contradict each other. my varying opinions and ideas confuse me and leave me undecided. once more my vision clouds with the shit that i constantly pile upon myself. whenever i find someone that i know that i could love they are either not interested in me or are involved in a relationship already. its infuriating to find these perfect women, these ideal diamonds in the rough. and then to have them taken away from me before i can act upon my hearts screaming will. but this is life. it is shit. so we shut the fuck up and deal with it.