(no subject)
Im afraid to fall for someone again, because every time they get me to open up my heart and hand it to them they grab it and run as fast and far as they can. Why should I be the one paying for their mistake? I open up to make them realize that I care! But they screw me over! I dont even want to have sex any more because Im afraid that after I do... they will just screw me over even when I give them some... All I can really say is that Im scared about everything... Jason, Megan, Michelle, Kaitlin, Danielle, Cassie, Emily, and I hate to say the truth but Im scared for Alex, but Im mostly scared for myself! Because I really dont want to be hurt again. I will do a list of what Im scared for everyone:
Alex: And I hate to say it But Im scared for Alex as well, hes going to get screwed by someone but hes going to get it 10 times harder than what I did to him. I guess really the reason why I did that was to get back at every other man threw him, but I was wrong, and Alex if you ever see this, I am deeply and honestly sorry for what I did to you... but I think that maybe now you will be more careful in choosing who you give your heart too.
Michelle: Im scared that shes going to befriend me again and then leave me when I need her the most.
Danielle: Im scared that you will turn your back on my when I need a laugh and need to be cheered up.
Megan: Im scared that you wont enjoy your life as a child... because we are 14 we are still children!
Cassie: I am scared that you will always go on never forgetting about the past, and Im sorry to say it Jules. I fear that you will let the past consume you and swallow you whole.
Kaitlin: Im scared that Alex wont give you a second chance and that you will get your heart ripped out again by another one you care for.
Emily: I am scared that you will never trust me ever again, but I will tell you something right here and now. I know you can not befriend me because of your parents but I just need to know that you still love me as a sister, because I still love you as one. I deeply care and you know that if anything happens and no one is there you can count on my no matter what!
Jason: I am so scared that you are going to allure me into your love and then rip me out of your life and never speak to me again and forget me and leave me in the darkness alone, which is where you found me in the first place.
Myself: I am scared that I am never going to over come the past, and Im never going to trust myself, I do but its not fully yet. I am scared that I am just going to go right back down the same road that everyone banned me from! The one where drinking and smoking was my alibi for everything! It was my safe haven, and I lived every damn day for it! I want to be caught next time I fall, not caught and thrown right onto the ground! I want peace... but in this world there is no peace for me, and I know that.
Alex: And I hate to say it But Im scared for Alex as well, hes going to get screwed by someone but hes going to get it 10 times harder than what I did to him. I guess really the reason why I did that was to get back at every other man threw him, but I was wrong, and Alex if you ever see this, I am deeply and honestly sorry for what I did to you... but I think that maybe now you will be more careful in choosing who you give your heart too.
Michelle: Im scared that shes going to befriend me again and then leave me when I need her the most.
Danielle: Im scared that you will turn your back on my when I need a laugh and need to be cheered up.
Megan: Im scared that you wont enjoy your life as a child... because we are 14 we are still children!
Cassie: I am scared that you will always go on never forgetting about the past, and Im sorry to say it Jules. I fear that you will let the past consume you and swallow you whole.
Kaitlin: Im scared that Alex wont give you a second chance and that you will get your heart ripped out again by another one you care for.
Emily: I am scared that you will never trust me ever again, but I will tell you something right here and now. I know you can not befriend me because of your parents but I just need to know that you still love me as a sister, because I still love you as one. I deeply care and you know that if anything happens and no one is there you can count on my no matter what!
Jason: I am so scared that you are going to allure me into your love and then rip me out of your life and never speak to me again and forget me and leave me in the darkness alone, which is where you found me in the first place.
Myself: I am scared that I am never going to over come the past, and Im never going to trust myself, I do but its not fully yet. I am scared that I am just going to go right back down the same road that everyone banned me from! The one where drinking and smoking was my alibi for everything! It was my safe haven, and I lived every damn day for it! I want to be caught next time I fall, not caught and thrown right onto the ground! I want peace... but in this world there is no peace for me, and I know that.