today, tonight
it's just the days, they seem so long
with all the wasted words i say
the truth never comes out anyway
i regret my actions
yet i look with anticipation to the next set
oh tonight tonight.
"This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion"
worked out did homework tried on the dress it fit i feel less stressed and worried and don't have to starve myself talked with karla.
she was telling me about these people that worked in nursing homes when hurricane katrina came and how they left about 30 patients in there because they didn't have time to get them all out safely. they left them there to DIE. they said they were too sick. it made me freak out. i had to get up and walk upstairs and try to think about anything else aside from that. the thought of being that old person, being totally helpless and stuck in somewhere, either knowing that i'm going to die without the medical attention i get everyday or drowning in the floods that the hurricane will inevitably bring. i wonder if they even knew that they were leaving for good. i wonder if they knew how bad the hurricane was going to be. i don't think i want to know when or how i'm going to die, i don't want to be aware that it's going to happen. i can't imagine knowing that i was going to drown when my nursing home got flooded because the person that was supposed to take care of me left me there to die, and also, that my family didn't have the time to check on me and maybe remove me themselves. ugh. i ... i need to stop writing. i'm shaking ugh.
i'm gonna go read requiem for a dream.
with all the wasted words i say
the truth never comes out anyway
i regret my actions
yet i look with anticipation to the next set
oh tonight tonight.
"This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion"
worked out did homework tried on the dress it fit i feel less stressed and worried and don't have to starve myself talked with karla.
she was telling me about these people that worked in nursing homes when hurricane katrina came and how they left about 30 patients in there because they didn't have time to get them all out safely. they left them there to DIE. they said they were too sick. it made me freak out. i had to get up and walk upstairs and try to think about anything else aside from that. the thought of being that old person, being totally helpless and stuck in somewhere, either knowing that i'm going to die without the medical attention i get everyday or drowning in the floods that the hurricane will inevitably bring. i wonder if they even knew that they were leaving for good. i wonder if they knew how bad the hurricane was going to be. i don't think i want to know when or how i'm going to die, i don't want to be aware that it's going to happen. i can't imagine knowing that i was going to drown when my nursing home got flooded because the person that was supposed to take care of me left me there to die, and also, that my family didn't have the time to check on me and maybe remove me themselves. ugh. i ... i need to stop writing. i'm shaking ugh.
i'm gonna go read requiem for a dream.