Oh, but I do miss her fiercely
It isn't that exact moment I look back to. There were no words that were uttered in particular that encouraged a reaction. Just the opposite. Sentences structured only as an indicator of a reaction already in action. She turned, and in the moment we were suddenly headed in two separate directions.
The moments I tend to sit in are those when everything was right, worse still the imagined if. What if we had stayed together. What if I could come home to her sleeping, do my best not to wake her up as I slipped under the sheets, I'd fail but the consequence would be a sleepy-eyed smile and a soft kiss goodnight. The sheets were warm and her embrace inviting. That doesn't happen that never happened. That Rachel will never exist.
I am beginning to understand all the affects of this. As her ship sails away slowly. I won't ever get to say good by.
The moments I tend to sit in are those when everything was right, worse still the imagined if. What if we had stayed together. What if I could come home to her sleeping, do my best not to wake her up as I slipped under the sheets, I'd fail but the consequence would be a sleepy-eyed smile and a soft kiss goodnight. The sheets were warm and her embrace inviting. That doesn't happen that never happened. That Rachel will never exist.
I am beginning to understand all the affects of this. As her ship sails away slowly. I won't ever get to say good by.