Meh, very very meh...
So, last night was not so good. I had a nigthmare. I hate that. Always makes me feel icky all day. I dreamt about an audition for Love's Labour's Lost...but the director was not George. It was some other guy. I dont know who. All I know is that he was rather heavy and balding with some white hair. He also wore glasses. I think his shirt was white. Anyhow, I was trying to audition for him but I could tell in his face that he hated me. It wasnt just that he hated my acting...but it seemed that he hated me personally. Even though I had never met the man, I felt that he really disliked me as a person. So, that caused me to have trouble focusing on the audtion. I could not remember all of my monologue. I could only remember a few lines from the beginning. But then I realized the lines that I could think of were from a piece that I wasnt wanting to do. So then I asked if I could try something else. And again, I could only come up with one line at the beginning of yet another piece that I didnt even want to do. The man then became very angry with me. I tried to look up the monologue in a folder and he was scolding me for not having a 'book'. That if I was professional that I would have been prepared and had the monologue in my 'book'. Then I tried to apologize and shake his hand. But he didnt want to shake my hand...and then, very out of character for myself...I grabbed his hand and shook it, I forced him to shake my hand...and this enraged him.
After that I watched Jason, Beth, and Misty prepare for their auditions. They were trying to give me advice. Beth got up and performed a piece with an Irish accent. The man loved it. Then I considered changing my clothes, redoing my make up and hair, ditching my glasses...and re-auditioning. Perhaps, my "disguise" would fool the man and I could look over my monologue and do it all again. Misty advised against doing this, that it would just make matters worse...that it would be like lying!
I dont know why I had this dream/nightmare...but it made me feel terrible. I still feel sick about it. I think I have major issues with the idea of people not liking me personally. I have no problem with disagreements on opinions...but to have someone flat out dislike me is bothersome.
This morning at about 7am-ish I think a baby bird was freaking out outside of my window. It sounded like it had fallen on the ground and it would not stop its high-pitched chirping. This gave me feelings of anxiety. Very peculiar.
I am having trouble focusing right now. I need to study for my spanish test but all I want to do is go to sleep. I think it is a defense mechanism of mine. I think Ill nap for a hour, then study...however, whenever I do this I end up sleeping all night anyways. If that happens, oh well. But I will just try for a nap.
After that I watched Jason, Beth, and Misty prepare for their auditions. They were trying to give me advice. Beth got up and performed a piece with an Irish accent. The man loved it. Then I considered changing my clothes, redoing my make up and hair, ditching my glasses...and re-auditioning. Perhaps, my "disguise" would fool the man and I could look over my monologue and do it all again. Misty advised against doing this, that it would just make matters worse...that it would be like lying!
I dont know why I had this dream/nightmare...but it made me feel terrible. I still feel sick about it. I think I have major issues with the idea of people not liking me personally. I have no problem with disagreements on opinions...but to have someone flat out dislike me is bothersome.
This morning at about 7am-ish I think a baby bird was freaking out outside of my window. It sounded like it had fallen on the ground and it would not stop its high-pitched chirping. This gave me feelings of anxiety. Very peculiar.
I am having trouble focusing right now. I need to study for my spanish test but all I want to do is go to sleep. I think it is a defense mechanism of mine. I think Ill nap for a hour, then study...however, whenever I do this I end up sleeping all night anyways. If that happens, oh well. But I will just try for a nap.