(no subject)

[forgivemelush]

i'm sorry,
i could really try harder
to be that neutral color on the walls
of a place you don't know well.
i could try to be milder,
i could numb it and simplify
and mask the odor with horrible cologne,
and i'm not incapable of much
but my spirit is mostly impossible
to downsize.
i don't like
tasting bland things
and things are better off
not in my mouth
than otherwise,
please don't leave through
a one way exit.
maybe i can leave lace
around my edges,
maybe i can soften the outline
of what is already there--
but i can't diminish
the crux and totality
of what i carry.
power tools or silverware
or multi use lawn ornaments,
who knows what to pick up
when what you must do
is not candid or sincere.
so take what you will
from this stockpile,
take and leave behind
because i am pages
and pages
of dilapidated textbook,
and neither of us
can subtract
from me.