Scene 14 & 15
Scene XIV
[Jude walks up to the small house that is becoming more and more familiar to him. He walks up and knocks on the door. Sidney shouts at him from inside to let him know the door is open, so he just walks inside. Sidney is in the kitchen mixing up some odd mixture of food. Despite how strange it looks, it smells delightful.]
Sidney
Hey, Father!
Jude
Hi, Sid. Where’s Ivy tonight?
Sidney
She’s meeting someone about a job or something. I think it could really be a hot date though. She told me not to wait up, which someone only says when they have a date.
Jude
Well… That’s good.
Sidney
Yeah, let’s hope so. Ivy has a knack for getting into crappy relationships.
Jude
She does? She usually seems pretty smart and sensible.
Sidney
Yeah, she seems that way, but somehow, she always loses her good judgment whenever she’s with a guy she likes.
Jude
That’s unfortunate.
Sidney
You’re telling me. I always have to cheer her up when problems finally arise. I just want her to finally find a good person, or stop all together. You know, maybe the vow of celibacy you priests take is really the smarter thing to do.
Jude
Well, I don’t know if that would work for everyone. I think you’d have a hard time convincing most people that it’s the proper way to go.
Sidney
Good point.
[They continue to talk about less meaningful things. Sidney cooks a peculiar dinner. Afterwards, they sit on the back porch as the evening grows darker and darker. They continue to talk until a sound can be heard all the way at the front door. Ivy calls out Sidney’s name a few times before wandering outside to the back porch. She looks surprised to see Jude initially.]
Sidney
Hey, Ivy. How was your date?
Ivy
My what? I wasn’t on a date.
Sidney
Your job interview excuse doesn’t make any sense at all. You have a great job, but you’ve never had a great boyfriend.
Ivy
Psh, so that means I’m lying?
[She sits down on an extra chair tiredly.]
Sidney
So you really were going to a job interview? Why would you do that?
Ivy
Perhaps because I might want another job someday.
Jude
That makes sense.
Ivy
See? Jude supports me. Why can’t you be supportive, Sidney?
Sidney
I’m plenty supportive. I’m just a little skeptical at times is all.
Ivy
Sure.
Jude
What is your new job going to be ideally?
Ivy
I was thinking about working for a better newspaper.
Sidney
Oh, really? I didn’t know we had any better newspapers than the one you’re at now.
Ivy
Well, it’s actually not local.
Sidney
A national newspaper? That’s great!
Ivy
Well, it’s not national. It’s still a local paper, it’s just not located around here.
[Sidney is quiet, obviously confused by her statements. Jude notices his unsure attitude and speaks up instead.]
Jude
Where is it?
Ivy
It’s in Seattle, actually. If I get the job, I’ll probably move there.
Sidney
Wait, what? Why haven’t I heard about this before? I didn’t even know that this was going to be a “for real” job interview instead of an “I’m only doing this interview to make my regular job frightened so that I can get a raise” job interview.
Ivy
Wait, what? No, I don’t go on fake interviews. This one was real, and I figured you would assume that.
Sidney
You could have at least told me it was out of state. Across the entire country, even.
Ivy
I didn’t want to tell you until after the interview. I know you have a tendency to overreact.
Sidney
[Shrieking] I do not overreact!
[Sidney gets up and storms inside. Ivy reaches at him to wait, but he walks off anyway, leaving them alone.]
Ivy
Honestly, I think that went pretty well. Usually, he gets much more upset over things like this.
Jude
Has this happened before?
Ivy
Oh, no. It’s always some different little thing that gets him like this. Look, do you think you could talk to him? He’ll listen to you more than he’ll listen to me right now.
Jude
Yeah, sure.
[Jude gets up and goes inside the kitchen to where Sidney paces the floor restlessly, looking through the cabinets as he does so and taking out various ingredients.]
Jude
Come on, Sid. Why don’t you just hear her out?
Sidney
Why should I? This is the same thing as she always does.
Jude
What do you mean?
Sidney
Ivy has this lovely habit of running away all the time. She makes a big drama about it and leaves, then comes back a few months or a year later. Everyone that she’s made friends with here gets all upset and stops talking to her for a while when she comes back. Then she goes off and meets new people. Then she finds another excuse to leave again and does it all over again.
Jude
And you think she’s going to do it again? Then it’s okay that she leaves. She’s an adult. She’ll be okay.
Sidney
Yeah, if she comes back, that is. Last time, she was gone for almost two years. I don’t know how long it’s going to be this time.
[They stare at each other for a few minutes. Sidney rests his arms on the counter in frustration. Jude seems unable to figure out what to say next. He ends up finding the situation hopeless as well and simply crosses his arms and leans against the wall to think. Ivy eventually walks in and looks at the two of them as if she too has nothing to say.]
Ivy
I think I’m going out.
Sidney
Fine.
Ivy
Good then.
Jude
Do you… Do you want me to come with you?
Ivy
Not really, but if you must.
[Ivy leaves the house. Jude hesitates for a few seconds before following her out the door. He finds her walking down the street in the dark and jogs to quickly catch up with her.]
Jude
Sid seems to think that you’re just looking for a job elsewhere because you want to get away for a while.
Ivy
Sidney is a big conspiracy theorist. He thinks that my every action is part of some bigger aspect of everyone’s life. Like I’m trying to affect everyone by what I choose to do. But by thinking that I’m the control freak, really, he’s the one that’s being controlling.
Jude
You don’t think that any of his thoughts are reasonable?
Ivy
Of course, they’re somewhat reasonable. He’s just upset that I’m leaving. He’s like a child.
Jude
Have you left before?
Ivy
I went to live with my cousin for a while not too long ago. And before that, I had a short lived job for a while. He overreacts every time. He just doesn’t want to be alone.
Jude
Nobody wants to be alone. Why are you leaving here anyway? You have a good job.
Ivy
Maybe I want a better job.
Jude
Is it really that much better that you would get up and move across the country?
Ivy
I don’t mind moving. It’s kind of an adventure.
Jude
Is your adventure worth upsetting all of your friends, and even your family?
Ivy
My family won’t care. They don’t care what they do. For all I know, they celebrate whenever I leave town. My friends… They’ll get over it eventually.
Jude
How do you know? You could just be telling yourself that. You don’t know how these people react when you leave. You don’t know how we are going to be after you leave.
Ivy
Are you saying that you’re going to miss me?
Jude
Of course I’m going to miss you. Everyone will.
Ivy
Maybe that’s why I should be going.
Jude
What’s that supposed to mean?
Ivy
[Sighs] I think I like you too much, Jude.
Jude
What? Like a crush?
Ivy
Sure. You’re pretty much the most responsible person I know. You’re smart. And you’re really cute. And I just feel happy around you. The problem is: you and I are the most impossible couple. It’s simply ridiculous to stick around where I’m constantly faced with something that I want but can’t have. I can’t think right around you. I was fine at first, but now I’m not.
Jude
All because you like me?
Ivy
Yes, all because I like you. It’s just pointless for me to stay here now. I want to have a life. I want to figure myself out. I want what anyone else wants. And I can’t do that with a guy around that I have strong feelings for but can’t do anything with, okay?
Jude
But, Ivy. Moving across the entire country is…
Ivy
A show of how pathetic I am?
Jude
A little extreme.
Ivy
As far as I’m concerned, it doesn’t matter. Seattle has a great newspaper. I’m interested.
Jude
Well, maybe I should just go away then. I can distance myself from people really easily. I don’t want you to break off all your relationships here just to get away from me.
Ivy
But these are your friends now too. I couldn’t ask you to leave them. It’s much easier if I just…
Jude
No, it’s not easier. It’s harder on everyone if you leave. It’s hard on me, sure, but it’s hard on everyone else more.
Ivy
I just… I don’t think that would work out either.
Jude
Why not? You’re being ridiculous.
Ivy
You’re the one who said it. For some reason, we just keep conveniently running into one another. Even if you decide that you’ll just go away so that I can stay here or whatever crazy thing you decide, we’re just going to end up seeing each other all the time. We’ll just magically run into one another. Probably even if I move somewhere else in the state, something will happen and we’ll still end up seeing each other.
Jude
You don’t know that for sure.
Ivy
There are lots of things that nobody knows for sure. The thing is: I don’t want to take that risk. I can’t stay here, Jude.
Jude
And it’s all my fault. It’s my fault that you’re going to leave and upset all of these people.
Ivy
No, it’s not your fault. It’s my fault. I’m the one that can’t handle how I feel about you.
Jude
But if it’s just a crush, I mean… Come on. It can’t be so severe that it would make you have to change your entire life.
Ivy
I don’t want to give it the chance to become more severe.
Scene XV
[It’s mid afternoon. Jude is meeting with his therapist Dr. Schmidt. He seems much more relaxed than before, suggesting that this is one of quite a few meetings that they’ve had. Instead of sitting calmly this time, Jude paces the floor manically. Dr. Schmidt merely sits and watches him, occasionally writing something down on her clipboard.]
Jude
It’s just ridiculous!
Dr. Schmidt
How are her feelings ridiculous?
Jude
Nobody’s ever liked me before. I barely even have friends, let alone women that are interested in me. It’s ridiculous.
Dr. Schmidt
You think that you don’t deserve people to be interested in you?
Jude
I just don’t understand it. It’s… It’s weird. It doesn’t happen very often.
Dr. Schmidt
There’s a first time for everything, isn’t there? Did you talk to her about how she felt?
Jude
Of course I did. I’m a priest, all I’m good for is talking to people, it seems.
Dr. Schmidt
There’s obviously more to you if someone else can love you.
Jude
She doesn’t love me anyway. She’s just infatuated.
Dr. Schmidt
How can you know that?
Jude
Because there is no possible way that I could ever be with her or love her back or anything.
Dr. Schmidt
Just because you are unable to return her affections, that doesn’t make her feelings any less real.
Jude
[Sighs and sits down on the couch] You’re right. This is a problem.
Dr. Schmidt
Are you resentful of the fact that she’s leaving?
Jude
I don’t resent her, no. I just… I don’t want her to go. She’s my friend. I care about her. As a friend.
Dr. Schmidt
Did you talk to her about how you feel?
Jude
I can’t talk to her about how I feel. I can’t talk to anyone about how I feel. I’m not supposed to feel. I’m supposed to care for my fellow humans, sure, but beyond that, I can’t do anything.
Dr. Schmidt
So you do feel something for Ivy?
Jude
I didn’t say that.
Dr. Schmidt
What did you say then?
Jude
I merely suggested that, even if I did return her affections, I would be unable to act on it or talk about it. It’s just not allowed. It’s not the life that I chose. I don’t see why the fact that it’s impossible for me to return her feelings should destroy everything.
Dr. Schmidt
And you told her this?
Jude
Of course I did. And of course, she didn’t care. She’s very stubborn.
Dr. Schmidt
Is she stubborn in an irritating way or stubborn in an attractive way?
Jude
What? Stop that. It doesn’t matter. Why are you trying to trap me into saying things?
Dr. Schmidt
I’m not trying to trap you.
Jude
You’re talking about things that are supposed to make me reconsider my life choices.
Dr. Schmidt
They can’t make you reconsider what you aren’t willing to reconsider. I’m here to make you consider what is best for your life.
Jude
And you think I should just give up the priesthood, the one path I’ve studied for and prayed about and been nothing but dedicated to my entire life?
Dr. Schmidt
I’m not saying that.
Jude
Then what are you saying?
Dr. Schmidt
I not saying that I want you to give up on your life. I’m saying that I’m here to help you figure out what exactly you do want from your life.
Jude
I want to be the best priest that I can be.
Dr. Schmidt
If that’s true, then I want to help you do that to the best of my ability. Though, if it’s not…
Jude
You barely even know me!
Dr. Schmidt
And yet, we’ve talked about more than you’ve talked about with anyone else.
Jude
You don’t know that.
Dr. Schmidt
I know that because you’ve told me that multiple times. And because you’ve said it in many different contexts, you’re either the best liar in the world or you’re trying to cheapen our relationship now.
Jude
Fine. You know me well.
Dr. Schmidt
Thank you. That means I’m doing at least part of my job.
[Jude sighs again. He and Dr. Schmidt stare at one another for a few moments.]
Dr. Schmidt
I think you like this girl. And this is me as your professional doctor talking, not me as your friend.
Jude
No, I don’t… I mean… Of course, I like her. She’s…
Dr. Schmidt
I didn’t mean to stress you out. It was just a comment.
Jude
But a comment that you meant something by.
Dr. Schmidt
Let’s try it another way. Do you think that you could be happy with Ivy?
Jude
I’m sure I could.
Dr. Schmidt
Do you think you could be happy if you weren’t a priest?
Jude
No! I mean… I don’t know.
Dr. Schmidt
So, in a sense, you are taking the riskier route.
Jude
I’m not… No… What?
Dr. Schmidt
You said that you were sure you could be happy with Ivy. And you’re not sure that you would be unhappy if you weren’t a priest. It sounds like the priesthood has the higher potential to lack satisfaction.
Jude
Now you’re just being manipulative.
Dr. Schmidt
I’m sorry. Do you want to talk about your childhood again?
Next Scene...
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