Valentines day thoughts
Well I'm alone for Valentines Day (Trust me when i say i prefer it) I'm the grumpy guy on Valentines Day with or without a boyfriend (*cough* Sephiroth in the valentines day fic *cough*). But thats not why im writing this journal. Im writing this cause i have been thinking for a while and i don't know why my mind always drifts back to my first... We were in high school, two lonely guys who found comfort in each other :P yeah i know love story... (Of course you could rephrase it as two hormonal teenagers who...) I really miss him, as a friend. We were best friends and boyfriends during high school and he really pulled me out of some bad shit i was going through.
We realised that we weren't actually in love with each other we were just sort of best friend brother love kind of thing. So i was missing him and i gave him a call, he was happy to hear from me and told me he was thinking about me today (*idiot grin*)
Dont get me wrong im NOT in love with him, i just miss someone who i could talk to about everything and someone who knows me for over twenty years of my life. We were best friends and i talked to him for almost four hours. (Roommate got mad since long distance phone calls cost money.)
Since my Aunt is getting married (for the second time) in around March im flying there ive decided theres a few things i wanna do when i get there. Make sure my sisters boyfriend is not a bum or a bad person. Visit my best friend/Ex-Boyfriend. Visit my mom`s grave. Go to the wedding. And i have been wondering if i should tell my dad if im gay... I mean i am 24 but he just, i know he wont talk to me for a while...
All these thoughts of my best friend has got me writing some original fic that i know i wont ever finish the first chapter... but i might, also since FFnet doesn't take original fictions (hence Fanfiction Net) i might just have to post on y!...
If your wondering why i`m so clingy to my best friend, its cause none of my relationships turned out good... I`m too submissive... If something goes wrong and we get into a fight i`ll just stand there and take it, i wont bother fighting back or defending myself and i usually ended up in tears... Only two of my boyfriends didn't take advantage of me and actually loved me... Also the reason i stay away from clubbing and stuff... Whats worse is when everyone gives you pity...
Anyway this journal was supposed to be about the new original fic... I sidetracked to my ex (for like the 10th time today)... Well technically its no longer Valentines day here but Happy Vday to those of you that are in the past of me(what?)
Again i dont feel up for spellcheck so later...
We realised that we weren't actually in love with each other we were just sort of best friend brother love kind of thing. So i was missing him and i gave him a call, he was happy to hear from me and told me he was thinking about me today (*idiot grin*)
Dont get me wrong im NOT in love with him, i just miss someone who i could talk to about everything and someone who knows me for over twenty years of my life. We were best friends and i talked to him for almost four hours. (Roommate got mad since long distance phone calls cost money.)
Since my Aunt is getting married (for the second time) in around March im flying there ive decided theres a few things i wanna do when i get there. Make sure my sisters boyfriend is not a bum or a bad person. Visit my best friend/Ex-Boyfriend. Visit my mom`s grave. Go to the wedding. And i have been wondering if i should tell my dad if im gay... I mean i am 24 but he just, i know he wont talk to me for a while...
All these thoughts of my best friend has got me writing some original fic that i know i wont ever finish the first chapter... but i might, also since FFnet doesn't take original fictions (hence Fanfiction Net) i might just have to post on y!...
If your wondering why i`m so clingy to my best friend, its cause none of my relationships turned out good... I`m too submissive... If something goes wrong and we get into a fight i`ll just stand there and take it, i wont bother fighting back or defending myself and i usually ended up in tears... Only two of my boyfriends didn't take advantage of me and actually loved me... Also the reason i stay away from clubbing and stuff... Whats worse is when everyone gives you pity...
Anyway this journal was supposed to be about the new original fic... I sidetracked to my ex (for like the 10th time today)... Well technically its no longer Valentines day here but Happy Vday to those of you that are in the past of me(what?)
Again i dont feel up for spellcheck so later...