(no subject)
I’d kill for peace and quiet, for a little piece of mind. I’d kill for just about anything, if I could call it mine. I beg for the banalities of every day life, for anything that isn’t everything I’ve got on my plate. I just can’t handle this, today has been too much. I can’t keep my eyes open. I can’t keep my mouth shut. Have you ever had one of those days where you felt like your head was going to explode…and you almost started wishing for it? Just so you could have a little time for yourself.
Today has been that day. the only sounds I hear are the crunching of metal on metal, the word ‘no’ and the ocean in my ears. My head is a solid mass of spinning. Between the blood being drawn out far too slowly, the words coming from every angle and the disagreements, I can’t catch up. I can’t keep up.
You’ve got to keep me close, because with out you, I just don’t know. You’ve got to stay with me, I can’t handle everything. I’ve never needed a soul before but you’ve got that affect on me.
The weight on my shoulders is visible, my stride can’t keep up. When once, I may have stood proud, I can’t handle this weight over me. No standing tall when you can’t feel the sun.
I can’t get rid of this. Can’t make it make sense. I can’t cry it out - the desire isn’t there. The energy isn’t there. I can’t scream - the feeling isn’t for it. I can’t talk - my voice hasn’t come back to me just yet.
I just want a week off, a cold night and your fire. I want to feel close to someone. I want paper to not run the world. I want knowledge to be the national standard. I want to stare out onto the lake and not worry about mosquitos. I want something to fill that hole in my center. I want to stop scaring people I don’t know by looking so angry.
I want to stop second guessing everything I’ve ever known.
I want to stop having a reason to.
Today has been that day. the only sounds I hear are the crunching of metal on metal, the word ‘no’ and the ocean in my ears. My head is a solid mass of spinning. Between the blood being drawn out far too slowly, the words coming from every angle and the disagreements, I can’t catch up. I can’t keep up.
You’ve got to keep me close, because with out you, I just don’t know. You’ve got to stay with me, I can’t handle everything. I’ve never needed a soul before but you’ve got that affect on me.
The weight on my shoulders is visible, my stride can’t keep up. When once, I may have stood proud, I can’t handle this weight over me. No standing tall when you can’t feel the sun.
I can’t get rid of this. Can’t make it make sense. I can’t cry it out - the desire isn’t there. The energy isn’t there. I can’t scream - the feeling isn’t for it. I can’t talk - my voice hasn’t come back to me just yet.
I just want a week off, a cold night and your fire. I want to feel close to someone. I want paper to not run the world. I want knowledge to be the national standard. I want to stare out onto the lake and not worry about mosquitos. I want something to fill that hole in my center. I want to stop scaring people I don’t know by looking so angry.
I want to stop second guessing everything I’ve ever known.
I want to stop having a reason to.