WHAT YOU DO TO ME . ."
So, its been a very long time since I’ve wrote in this live journal. Im not sure what inspired me to write at all. I am very lost in the confusion of senior year. Sometimes I over think things and just think way too much. I am very good at over analyzing a situation or life itself.
This time things are different though. Summer ’05 came to an end which seemed not very long ago. Almost feels like yesterday, yet at the same time it feels like summer ’05 was years ago. It’s the strangest feeling in the world. We’ll back to the ending of summer ’05. I couldn’t of asked for a better summer, I had my summer. Which I thought would end with summer, and I was far from wrong. Not only that but I was starting my senior year. Everybody knows Senior year is one of the best years of your life. The class itself comes together, everybody just gets along. Like one big happy family. Right?
Think again, Senior year brought so many unexpected new things to my life. The beginning of my senior year started with a suicide of one of my best friends. What a way to start your senior year. Instead of our class coming together it just made unnecessary wars between groups of friends. Would you like to know who was stuck in the middle of this all, of course the one and only Gina Palumbo. This was just the start of all the craziness going on in my life. My summer love didn’t die with the summer, it crept up on me and didn’t let me be. It almost felt like real love. It very well could have been real love but it didn’t last very long. Now I see it was never meant to be and we knew it all along, but we did get along great, we made awesome friends. I don’t regret any moment I ever spent with him. We where just living, having fun and loving what we had. Timing has to do with everything , it was just bad timing. The strange part is, ive fallen hard for somebody so quickly. What makes it more weird is, its like ive known for a long time I was going to end up with him. I hope everything works out for the best.
While all this was going through my head, I was trying to find a “perfect college”, Stressing over school way too much. It seemed like so much was going on all at once. Also it seemed like my best friends where changing. I use to be inseparable with Brittany Edwards. Now shes never even around, she only hangs out with nick. Theirs nothing wrong with that its just weird. Very different. Now its always me and my Jessie Lynn. I absolutely love her, I couldn’t ask for a better best friend. Brittany still our best friend, but its like she never tells us anything anymore.. It blows, we feel like where losing her.
Okay so to top off the entire year, we find out Brandon our friend who died. Well he cheated on Simone with one of our friends Caitlin. Who by the way ive always hated and never trusted. That’s besides the point though. Caitlin had been lying to everybodys faces the entire time. She was taking our friends down one by one, Stealing things from people influencing drugs on others. Caitlin was tearing our friends apart. She ended up having serious self esteem issues. She tried bringing us all down with her and I did my best to stay out of it.. Of course my mother found the need to get in the middle of it all. Causing many stressful problems in our house. We fought for days. It wasn’t something I call fun. I cant even explain all the problems Caitlin caused for the year, she ended up leaving Lakeland because things go so bad. Caitlin leaving made things better for so many people.
Now senior year, well senior year is almost over. I feel like it cant end soon enough. The problem is, im scared that when it does end im going to want it back so badly. Right now I just want out, I wanna go to prom I just want to throw my hat in the air, kick up the bucket. I want to hold onto every summer night left, love , laugh and spend every moment I have left with all my friends. Then I just want to go, me and Rob at ESU. Im so scared, I hope I make it, I hope more then anything its fun. The weirdest part about life right now is I’ve never wanted to stay in one place so bad but want to leave this place so bad at the same time..
Well im too tired to fix this right now. Ill edit tomorrow.
This time things are different though. Summer ’05 came to an end which seemed not very long ago. Almost feels like yesterday, yet at the same time it feels like summer ’05 was years ago. It’s the strangest feeling in the world. We’ll back to the ending of summer ’05. I couldn’t of asked for a better summer, I had my summer. Which I thought would end with summer, and I was far from wrong. Not only that but I was starting my senior year. Everybody knows Senior year is one of the best years of your life. The class itself comes together, everybody just gets along. Like one big happy family. Right?
Think again, Senior year brought so many unexpected new things to my life. The beginning of my senior year started with a suicide of one of my best friends. What a way to start your senior year. Instead of our class coming together it just made unnecessary wars between groups of friends. Would you like to know who was stuck in the middle of this all, of course the one and only Gina Palumbo. This was just the start of all the craziness going on in my life. My summer love didn’t die with the summer, it crept up on me and didn’t let me be. It almost felt like real love. It very well could have been real love but it didn’t last very long. Now I see it was never meant to be and we knew it all along, but we did get along great, we made awesome friends. I don’t regret any moment I ever spent with him. We where just living, having fun and loving what we had. Timing has to do with everything , it was just bad timing. The strange part is, ive fallen hard for somebody so quickly. What makes it more weird is, its like ive known for a long time I was going to end up with him. I hope everything works out for the best.
While all this was going through my head, I was trying to find a “perfect college”, Stressing over school way too much. It seemed like so much was going on all at once. Also it seemed like my best friends where changing. I use to be inseparable with Brittany Edwards. Now shes never even around, she only hangs out with nick. Theirs nothing wrong with that its just weird. Very different. Now its always me and my Jessie Lynn. I absolutely love her, I couldn’t ask for a better best friend. Brittany still our best friend, but its like she never tells us anything anymore.. It blows, we feel like where losing her.
Okay so to top off the entire year, we find out Brandon our friend who died. Well he cheated on Simone with one of our friends Caitlin. Who by the way ive always hated and never trusted. That’s besides the point though. Caitlin had been lying to everybodys faces the entire time. She was taking our friends down one by one, Stealing things from people influencing drugs on others. Caitlin was tearing our friends apart. She ended up having serious self esteem issues. She tried bringing us all down with her and I did my best to stay out of it.. Of course my mother found the need to get in the middle of it all. Causing many stressful problems in our house. We fought for days. It wasn’t something I call fun. I cant even explain all the problems Caitlin caused for the year, she ended up leaving Lakeland because things go so bad. Caitlin leaving made things better for so many people.
Now senior year, well senior year is almost over. I feel like it cant end soon enough. The problem is, im scared that when it does end im going to want it back so badly. Right now I just want out, I wanna go to prom I just want to throw my hat in the air, kick up the bucket. I want to hold onto every summer night left, love , laugh and spend every moment I have left with all my friends. Then I just want to go, me and Rob at ESU. Im so scared, I hope I make it, I hope more then anything its fun. The weirdest part about life right now is I’ve never wanted to stay in one place so bad but want to leave this place so bad at the same time..
Well im too tired to fix this right now. Ill edit tomorrow.