life: a long series of good-byes
as strange as it seems i still have the internet although i'm not "living" here anymore...it's a long story. outside my window people are bbq-ing, playing frisbee, beating drums, taking a nap on the daisies. i'd like to go outside but i'm hesitant because i don't have a key to get back in. however, it's beautiful weather and it's nice to watch
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thank you for 'listening'. i love thinking in German but there's so much of me (my personality, my thoughts) that go unexpressed during the day. so that post was kind of an avalanche of suppressed English. normally it would take too much time to say in German or no one else would find it particularly interesting (of course we do it that way; why are you so surprised?) or it's the sort of thing that only makes sense to say in English (not good-bye but see you later). this is all to say: what a relief to be 'heard' by someone who speaks my language.
also i've been reading a lot of James Joyce which has had a huge affect on how i view language. i love the minimalism, the double meanings, the word play, the clear preciseness in the midst of ambiguity that i find in his work. a computer would underline the whole thing in red; it's something only a human can appreciate. he even uses a lot of German or constructs English sentencs with German-like structure, which is fascinating. if you haven't read any of him i would highly recommend it. but Vorsichtig! it almost made my brain explore!
i know what you mean about 'trying to think deep thoughts'. i don't know how many times i've tried to come up with something half-way creative for a class and found the well dry. but then at 3 in the morning you have the most brilliant idea ever thought. hee hee. that's dramatic irony for you.
that's great that you're writing a song! i'll be very excited to hear how it turns out; it sounds like you're off to a good start.
this is the part where i turn selfish, conceited and vulnerable. thank you for praising my writing. in the shadow of brother and boyfriend and because of a professor's particularly biting criticism lately i haven't felt that my writing is anything special. which is just as well, i suppose. it's extremely irritating when people, confident of their own brilliance, try to write something profound. everything should come from a humble heart, right? but it's still nice to know if somehow something moved you or spoke to you or reminded you of something. that's what i want to do. so thank you.
on a different note, you're quite a writer yourself. (fly, web, 'spinster'). 'beautiful way to end.' the end. 'it is a monster and you are too.' and i'm still laughing about the 'in other news i'm wearing pants' bit!
well, i probably should go un-meld myself by the gov't. (abmelden=de-register). which means i have to leave 'you', that is, your post which is only a symbol of the real abby....see? you can go crazy with thinking about this stuff for too long. when i get back let's do something spontaneous and decidedly unintellectual, ok?
bis später schätzchen!
btw, tienes razón. night=death.
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