life: a long series of good-byes
as strange as it seems i still have the internet although i'm not "living" here anymore...it's a long story. outside my window people are bbq-ing, playing frisbee, beating drums, taking a nap on the daisies. i'd like to go outside but i'm hesitant because i don't have a key to get back in. however, it's beautiful weather and it's nice to watch
( Read more... )
Also, you dealt with some issues that are very near to my heart-
1.different languages and cultures, Germany in particular. U of M has made me ponder what it's like to be that guy on my hall from taiwan, or even the girl from California. I wonder sometimes if I could do the same. Actually, I've thought about Germany in particular.
2.what is belonging? (I have a "full address book" but have questioned its importance just today.)
3. "Who decides what things mean? who decides which signals and sounds we use?" I am taking a psycho-linguistics course. This interests me greatly.
4. "are humans more than just username and password?" I am writing a song about this concept. the concept is basically 'who am I but just a body/face/title/name' It's very much unfinished, but you've inspired me. Especially with further comments on our identity in Christ. Also, I was originally writing my paper on the concept of identity- what makes a person human, and what defines identity. I moved into the slightly more boring (but more feasible) idea of mortality and how we perceive and deal with it. Maybe you addressed it when you said that "everyone knows that night will come eventually," or maybe I've been trying to interpret poems for too many hours now.
The final bit was like a surprise ending! "do they see me." You brought in a totally new perspective, when all the reader is considering is the picnic-ers. If it were a movie, the camera would suddenly zoom out and we would see you, sitting by the window looking down on the people. Beautiful way to end. Exactly what my english teacher is talking about.
My comment is now competing with the length of your original post, and I feel that I'm wearing out my welcome here. In closing- you are a fabulous writer and you have a beautiful mind. God is delighted with your depth, and he says "now go deeper into me." And I am desperately excited to see you again soon. I would love to talk to you in person, about everything or anything at all. I love you. Don't worry about responding to this, it is a monster. And you are too. I love you I love you I love you.
Reply
thank you for 'listening'. i love thinking in German but there's so much of me (my personality, my thoughts) that go unexpressed during the day. so that post was kind of an avalanche of suppressed English. normally it would take too much time to say in German or no one else would find it particularly interesting (of course we do it that way; why are you so surprised?) or it's the sort of thing that only makes sense to say in English (not good-bye but see you later). this is all to say: what a relief to be 'heard' by someone who speaks my language.
also i've been reading a lot of James Joyce which has had a huge affect on how i view language. i love the minimalism, the double meanings, the word play, the clear preciseness in the midst of ambiguity that i find in his work. a computer would underline the whole thing in red; it's something only a human can appreciate. he even uses a lot of German or constructs English sentencs with German-like structure, which is fascinating. if you haven't read any of him i would highly recommend it. but Vorsichtig! it almost made my brain explore!
i know what you mean about 'trying to think deep thoughts'. i don't know how many times i've tried to come up with something half-way creative for a class and found the well dry. but then at 3 in the morning you have the most brilliant idea ever thought. hee hee. that's dramatic irony for you.
that's great that you're writing a song! i'll be very excited to hear how it turns out; it sounds like you're off to a good start.
this is the part where i turn selfish, conceited and vulnerable. thank you for praising my writing. in the shadow of brother and boyfriend and because of a professor's particularly biting criticism lately i haven't felt that my writing is anything special. which is just as well, i suppose. it's extremely irritating when people, confident of their own brilliance, try to write something profound. everything should come from a humble heart, right? but it's still nice to know if somehow something moved you or spoke to you or reminded you of something. that's what i want to do. so thank you.
on a different note, you're quite a writer yourself. (fly, web, 'spinster'). 'beautiful way to end.' the end. 'it is a monster and you are too.' and i'm still laughing about the 'in other news i'm wearing pants' bit!
well, i probably should go un-meld myself by the gov't. (abmelden=de-register). which means i have to leave 'you', that is, your post which is only a symbol of the real abby....see? you can go crazy with thinking about this stuff for too long. when i get back let's do something spontaneous and decidedly unintellectual, ok?
bis später schätzchen!
btw, tienes razón. night=death.
Reply
Leave a comment