(no subject)
So lately I have been forced to notice extreme unfairness in my world. I am not bitter at the world or bitter with my life...I just always wonder who sets the rules for this world? Someone has to be directing this shit...because I sit back and look at everything...and everything just plain sucks.
I cant say Im completley dissatisfied with my life, but I can also say that I really would like my life to be a little bit easier. I have been looking for my break all my life. When is someone gonna give me a break from how I feel about things daily...and stupid shit that I have to deal with. I know its not half as bad as I think it is..but if its bad enough that I constantly think about it...then it must be bad..right? Am I just a whiny bitch? Or does my life really suck some times?
Like, I work my ass off allllll semester and I got 3 A's and a B. Im completely proud of myself, because I proved myself wrong. Im not stupid, I can write long papers that my teachers enjoy. I can do chemistry. I got into the nursing program at AIC(but then again it will take me 3 more cruel years). Its not good enough for mommy dearest...I shouldve gotten all As. Well thanks mom. You care more about my grades than my sanity. I understand though...I did fuck up for the first couple of semesters...Im getting punished for it now. But is that fair? Cant I be a college student like everyone else..nope...Im the one that gets punished for it...I didnt do anything different than anyone else. But it had to be me that paid for it. Okay I accept it..I guess. Hopefully something good will come out of this.
So another thing, I wanted to get experience in the medical field. I get stuck working at an alcohol and drug detox. We have a love hate relationship. Just like any other job, you become close with the people you work with, and you get used to the enviroment. So now I have a problem..I cant leave. I hate it because I despise the scumbags I come across. I love it because for the first time...I can maybe make somewhat of a difference in someones life. Im not sure if I do but I really hope so.
And who decided it was fair for me to get hit by a damn car during finals week? I can laugh about it now..because its absolutly ridiculous...but I still get scary flashbacks of how I couldve gotten really hurt. Is it some curse that has been put on my family...I mean come on...Some has to be planning my future. I pretty much hate thinking about it like that because I feel like I have absolutly no control of my life.. Like it doesnt matter what i do or how i do it.
So theres my first bitching of 2008
Happy New Year...I hope its a good one.
I cant say Im completley dissatisfied with my life, but I can also say that I really would like my life to be a little bit easier. I have been looking for my break all my life. When is someone gonna give me a break from how I feel about things daily...and stupid shit that I have to deal with. I know its not half as bad as I think it is..but if its bad enough that I constantly think about it...then it must be bad..right? Am I just a whiny bitch? Or does my life really suck some times?
Like, I work my ass off allllll semester and I got 3 A's and a B. Im completely proud of myself, because I proved myself wrong. Im not stupid, I can write long papers that my teachers enjoy. I can do chemistry. I got into the nursing program at AIC(but then again it will take me 3 more cruel years). Its not good enough for mommy dearest...I shouldve gotten all As. Well thanks mom. You care more about my grades than my sanity. I understand though...I did fuck up for the first couple of semesters...Im getting punished for it now. But is that fair? Cant I be a college student like everyone else..nope...Im the one that gets punished for it...I didnt do anything different than anyone else. But it had to be me that paid for it. Okay I accept it..I guess. Hopefully something good will come out of this.
So another thing, I wanted to get experience in the medical field. I get stuck working at an alcohol and drug detox. We have a love hate relationship. Just like any other job, you become close with the people you work with, and you get used to the enviroment. So now I have a problem..I cant leave. I hate it because I despise the scumbags I come across. I love it because for the first time...I can maybe make somewhat of a difference in someones life. Im not sure if I do but I really hope so.
And who decided it was fair for me to get hit by a damn car during finals week? I can laugh about it now..because its absolutly ridiculous...but I still get scary flashbacks of how I couldve gotten really hurt. Is it some curse that has been put on my family...I mean come on...Some has to be planning my future. I pretty much hate thinking about it like that because I feel like I have absolutly no control of my life.. Like it doesnt matter what i do or how i do it.
So theres my first bitching of 2008
Happy New Year...I hope its a good one.