+YOU+SHOOK+ME+TO+THE+CORE+
What a boring Wednesday this is turning out to be, not to mention it's extremely cold out, and I'm just...totally not liking it at all.
I had group last night, which only lasted about an hour (I AM SO HAPPY!) I hate group, you sit at a table with a bunch of crackheads, and now that Jasmine and Suzie are leaving, I dunno...I'm all alone. It's sad.
SO...I met this boy named Russ downtown, he has turned out to be a really cool guy, I like to just sit and talk and shit, cuz he's wicked down to earth and we have alot in common, it's really nice to meet some people here in Scranton who aren't complete douchebags.
I miss Joel. I don't even know what to say, or how to say it but since he was here on the weekend, I can't stop thinking about all the shit that I've been through in my life, and all the times he has been there for me when no one else was. I just wish things hadn't happened the way they did, I really love him, he is like my bestfriend and everything, I just wish that when we were younger he didn't dick me over the way he did, because maybe I wouldn't feel the way I do right now. I guess it's not that I am holding the past against him, because let's face it, we all fuck up. But then again, we all are supposed to grow up and learn from those mistakes we made. He says he has learned, he says he will do anything he can to make it up to me. I just wish he was here. That's all I want. When Joel is around I can smile, I can feel like I have someone around who really gives a shit about me, because let's face it, not many people do. 90 percent of the people who are supposidly "there for you"...are just talking out of their asses. Not because they are bad people of course, because we are human. We all have drama in our lives, and if we can't deal with our own tragedies, how can we help our friends deal with theres?
I guess I am just stuck in the mind frame of the past and I don't know what the future holds, and that is pretty damn scary. I'm sure you all can agree. Is life just a cruel joke? To see if we can make it through?
Tonight I am going out to dinner with Joshua, his sister, and her fiancee. I don't even know where we are going, but it's cool. I need to continue to put myself around people who have the same interests as me, people I am not going to get dicked over by, people I can't get into trouble with.
I guess I am also babysitting tonight for Jasmine, since she is going to be getting alittle booty call. Haha. She is well overdue, I'm glad she's finally getting a piece of ass, maybe you'll lighten up Jazz. HAHA. I love my baby anyway, we'll have fun together tonight.
Hmm...so yeah. I am going to get my work clothes today, hopefully soon I'll be on my way to NY with Joel.
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I had group last night, which only lasted about an hour (I AM SO HAPPY!) I hate group, you sit at a table with a bunch of crackheads, and now that Jasmine and Suzie are leaving, I dunno...I'm all alone. It's sad.
SO...I met this boy named Russ downtown, he has turned out to be a really cool guy, I like to just sit and talk and shit, cuz he's wicked down to earth and we have alot in common, it's really nice to meet some people here in Scranton who aren't complete douchebags.
I miss Joel. I don't even know what to say, or how to say it but since he was here on the weekend, I can't stop thinking about all the shit that I've been through in my life, and all the times he has been there for me when no one else was. I just wish things hadn't happened the way they did, I really love him, he is like my bestfriend and everything, I just wish that when we were younger he didn't dick me over the way he did, because maybe I wouldn't feel the way I do right now. I guess it's not that I am holding the past against him, because let's face it, we all fuck up. But then again, we all are supposed to grow up and learn from those mistakes we made. He says he has learned, he says he will do anything he can to make it up to me. I just wish he was here. That's all I want. When Joel is around I can smile, I can feel like I have someone around who really gives a shit about me, because let's face it, not many people do. 90 percent of the people who are supposidly "there for you"...are just talking out of their asses. Not because they are bad people of course, because we are human. We all have drama in our lives, and if we can't deal with our own tragedies, how can we help our friends deal with theres?
I guess I am just stuck in the mind frame of the past and I don't know what the future holds, and that is pretty damn scary. I'm sure you all can agree. Is life just a cruel joke? To see if we can make it through?
Tonight I am going out to dinner with Joshua, his sister, and her fiancee. I don't even know where we are going, but it's cool. I need to continue to put myself around people who have the same interests as me, people I am not going to get dicked over by, people I can't get into trouble with.
I guess I am also babysitting tonight for Jasmine, since she is going to be getting alittle booty call. Haha. She is well overdue, I'm glad she's finally getting a piece of ass, maybe you'll lighten up Jazz. HAHA. I love my baby anyway, we'll have fun together tonight.
Hmm...so yeah. I am going to get my work clothes today, hopefully soon I'll be on my way to NY with Joel.
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