[vvideo ♒ 01 ] havve you seen my sea princess
[The feed clicks on and what is seen is a rather upset looking gray person with candy corn horns in the shape of lightning bolts.]
[He takes a second, staring into the camera to be sure it was working before he starts.]Low bloods! I hawe an issue that is a dire importance! This isn't no skyhorse shit or anythin' like that, I'm lookin' for someone ( Read more... )
[He takes a second, staring into the camera to be sure it was working before he starts.]Low bloods! I hawe an issue that is a dire importance! This isn't no skyhorse shit or anythin' like that, I'm lookin' for someone ( Read more... )
"This is so stupid, so fuckin' stupid Kan." Bitch bitch bitch, but you know what, he in a way owned Kanaya, so he was just going to deal with it best he could. Though, chances were Kanaya was not going to hear the end of his bitching about helping her. Or him shamelessly throwing in her face how he so generously helped her this one time.
Placing it down, he brushes his hands off before looking at his shirt--which to his horror--somehow got dirt on it. His face. Undue horror. Eridan was every bit of a neat freak and this was so fucking unacceptable it was offensive on degrees that should never even be touched.
"Fuckin' COD DAMNIT THIS IS STUPID, KAN! Why can't you just leawe these stupid fuckin' plants where they belong?!"
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Then her eyes travel to his face, and something about his expression just cuts into her. It's the disgust, the anger, the frustration... yeah, something's bothering him, and if she doesn't head this off quickly, it's going to explode.
She stands up, brushing her hands off on her skirt (an old one, just for gardening) and gestures to the porch. "What's on your mind, Eridan?"
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He watches her and then starts for the porch, but stops when she speaks. Yes this was exactly what he was looking for. That pity. Though, it dawned on him, was he truly this pathetic that he had to go and dirty himself just to get a little sympathy? Whatever, he knew he was fucking pathetic, a waste of skin, he was worse than anybody, everybody, ALL THE BODIES.
"I just... I'm fuckin' worried I guess." He tries to play it off like it's nothing that big, but in reality it's the fucking world to him. Feferi was his fucking world and her not being here by his side, even if before she was accompanied by that mustard blood, nothing felt right.
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"Why don't you sit here with me and tell me all about it?" she offers. "Or if you like, you can go change your shirt first."
It's okay, really; she's a good friend, this is what she does, and if that means that sometimes her own feelings get pushed aside for the betterment of someone else... well, that's just how it is. This isn't the first time, and she's certain it won't be the last.
Just once, though, it'd be nice if someone listened to her.
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"Just. What if Fef doesn't come here? What if she's stuck all alone in the weil waitin' to die and here I am like some sorry brinesucker who can't fuckin' do a cod damn thing about it?" As he starts to talk, he had started to do his usual display of over exaggerated gestures and movements but as he continued, they just lost their strength and eventually declined into still appendages that just drooped on his knees. He doesn't look at Kanaya as he speaks, he's too proud to show her his patheticness, though it won't be long till that false sense of pride, that fakey fake fiction of an exaggerated dignity that did not actually exist, would diminish into what he really was. A blubbering grub who just hated himself.
Taking in a deep breath, only to exhale it a moment later, he casts his gaze towards the bright blue sky.
"What good am I if all I can do is sit around and be a worthless barnacle? I can't ewen sawe her. I should be the one to sawe her and I can't ewen fuckin' manage that." He'd be lying if he said there wasn't a certain sting to the edges of his eyes when he thought about that. Thought about how worthless he really was. How he did no one any good, even if his intentions were always noble.
Even though he was the one he hated the most, all he could ever worry about was himself and Feferi. He was self hating and yet so selfish, but who knows, maybe one of these days he'd lighten up, he'd get with the picture and maybe even be able to offer an auricular sponge for a friend--for Kanaya.
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He finishes, staring morosely up at the sky, and Kanaya ponders her next move. She could be reassuring, could tell him he's not worthless, that Feferi and everyone else needs him, but he wouldn't believe her, and the 'everyone else' part would probably be an exaggeration anyway. She's tried that tact before, and it never works; it just degenerates into whining and more feeling sorry for himself. That's probably what he wants, actually... a chance to feel sorry for himself and lament the Numerous Difficulties of Being Eridan Ampora. Instead, she tries something else.
"What kind of matesprit do you think Feferi wants?" she asks him, knowing this is a dangerous road to go down but wanting to try all the same.
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It was obvious what kind of matesprit Feferi didn't want.
When he answers, he can't help but allow his soreness to leak through his words. His bitterness flooding each syllable like the waters did the earth in that biblical story the trolls knew nothing about. Unless there was some ironic troll version to it, but that wasn't important right now.
"I'd imagine... Giwen the ewidence, she wants a four-horned, disgustin' commoner a the mustard-blooded wariety." Pure venom in his words. His brows knitting as he his mind went to ponder the one he was describing. How he absolutely loathed that peasant, that good for nothing mustard blood. How he wanted nothing more than to kill him and take back what was rightfully his, what belonged to him from his wriggling day.
Thinking about it was so frustrating, so entirely exhausting--mentally and emotionally. It wasn't long before those stings at his eyes became even more persistent and even threatens to actually become tears. The corners of his mouth pulled downward into a painful frown, glowering at nothing in particular, but at the same time imagining it was the source of all his issues. As if a mere facial expression could do anything anyway. It was as useless as the sea troll prince.
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This probably needs more explaining, so she continues before he has a chance to interrupt. "I meant, do you think she'd want someone kind, or brave, or noble, or what?" She shrugs her shoulders. "I don't know Feferi that well, and since you've known her since you were both wigglers, I think you'd have a better idea than anyone."
Flattery always helps. Especially with Eridan.
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"I--I don't know." He says with a heartbreaking defeated tone. He knew Feferi for so long, and as much as he loved her and as much as he thought he knew what was best--when it came down to what she actually wanted he didn't have a goddamn clue. Which was making him a bit more frustrated and even more surly.
"How fuckin' pathetic. Here I am, the one who has known her the fuckin' longest and I can't ewen answer that question. I know what she should want, but as far as what she actually does. I don't have a fuckin' codfondlin' clue as to what it could ewen be. I am one sorry suckerfish, a fuckin' selfish oweremotional drama machine. I'm am so fuckin' low and such a waste a fuckin' skin. How did she--how do you ewen deal with me, Kan? Sweet stinkin' murder, why do you ewen waste your time on someone as utterly fuckin' pathetic?"
Here we go, the self hating vicious spiral. He rubs at his eyes, his head still drooping. He pushes his glasses up, out of the way as he actually proceeds to stifle a sniffle. He was starting to shake, his emotions obviously taking over his actions and thought processes. If he hadn't put his scarf up on the railing, it would probably find itself within the mouth of the depressed prince, being chewed on in an attempt to hide his overly emotional display of self loathing. For the most part, he was keeping it as well together as he could--but it was definitely a ticking time bomb before he'd turn into a sobbing mess of troll.
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"You're not pathetic," she tells him, keeping her voice low and soft. "You're not pathetic, because I don't waste my time with pathetic trolls, understand? You have just as much potential and possibility as anyone else... you just haven't realized it yet." Maybe if he stopped focusing on what he is supposed to be and instead looked at what he is, he'd have an easier time of it, but she's pretty sure he's not ready for that particular truth bomb yet.
She switches back to a safer topic. "Maybe it's something you should think about," she tells him. "Try and figure out the kind of troll Feferi would want... and then try to be that troll."
Okay, she was fudging the truth a little earlier. She has a pretty good idea of the kind of troll Feferi would want: kind, generous, and most of all, confident, and not the fake kind either, but genuine, true confidence. The kind that comes from loving yourself. She thinks that if Eridan can learn to do that, he might win her back, and even if he doesn't get her, he could attract someone else in the process.
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Anything she was saying, he wasn't exactly listening to. He got the gist of it kind of, but right now his head hurt and he was too busy feeling sorry for himself to really let any of it sink it. For now anyway. Certainly right now was not the time for deep pondering on this matter, but later, maybe.
"I-I'm p-pretty shh-sh-sure I'll newer be the t-troll she wa-wants! Who would want a useless b-bottomfeeder l-l-like me?"
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The other point was harder to argue. Honestly, she didn't think Feferi would ever want Eridan, at least not the way he wanted her to want him, but she knew that if she told him that, he'd completely fall apart, and even with all her meddling skills, she wasn't sure she could put him back together again after that. "But you can try to be," she told him softly. "If you try to be, that's better than nothing, isn't it?"
He's not really listening. She knows this, but hopefully the words are sinking in, just a little, and maybe it's something he'll think about later. Maybe it's something they can work out together, and maybe, just maybe, he can learn how to be happy.
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"Uh, I'm not really sure if, this is the right time but. Tinkerbull, got stuck, in the kitchen sink. I, uh, I don't really know how or why, but, I can't get him out."
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That is until.
That voice... The one of the crippled troll, it is such an offensive noise his fins curl in distaste, his sorrow changing to blind rage in an instant. Turning his head just enough so his bleary eyes can focus a glare at the wheelchairstuck troll.
"Taw, if there was ewer a time for you to stop existin', NOW would be that fuckin' TIME." He's doing everything he can to keep from getting up and flipping that wheel chair Tavros was in. He does not have the time for YOUR BULLSHIT.
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Kanaya gives him one last gentle squeeze around the shoulders and then stands up. "You should go get that shirt soaking in some cold water," she tells Eridan. "Otherwise, that dirt might set in." It won't, but that should distract him. Although she should get her shirt soaking too, since the entire shoulder is stained purple.
"All right, Tavros. Show me what happened to Tinkerbull." Hopefully this will be an easy extraction.
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He wheels back inside, leading Kanaya over to the kitchen sink. There was Tinkerbull, stuck with just his head poking out of the drain. A very 'why me?' expression on his face. It may or may not be easy for Kanaya but Tavros cannot reach that far up.
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