My Birthday...
You know I cant really say that this one sucked....or that is was good...I mean I had fun back and forth but I have found myself at the end of this day in a shit mood, yea thats not how I should be feeling for my B-Day...All I know is that for my B-Day I want a DeLeon's head...I know alot of you are fading away from this issues cos they said the were calling it quits...BUT I am not, nor will I till I put one in the hospital or doing something else to them that will even the score...I got to see Ruri for a half hour today, actually hung out with only about 2 though. Cecily's house was alright but I had to take a step outside for own benifit. IDK if I am going to go to this "porno" party thats goin to be happenin at Alex's house tomarrow. I don't think I will be in the mood by the end of tomarrow. No one seems to really grasp the whole E-Town thing like I do. I don't care for the most part cos I want em' so bad I will go by my self, but I know that will never happen cos I have people who will stand by me to the end. Some I dont even know. And as far as that life hasnt picked back up. Some night I just lay in bed and just kinda think. Cecily got put on meds, and I look at her and I know exactly how she is feeling I went through that whole thing too. I know that I really can't do anything for her as much as I would like to. The truth is that it's all in her head and she is going to work through it. I am still adjusting to how Ruri is on relationships and what she does in them but it's different completly with her, but it's not that I don't like cos I like her alot and I think she is worth the time so I can get closer with her. Hmmm idk what else to put here but I have alot to say, and no real wat of saying it. I am kinda running into old issues in life with the E-Town fucks, emotional thing, and my dad. My dad is back to making me feel like shit, putting unmatchable standards on me and exsecting me to be like my brother when it's something I will never be and I don't want to be, it's not even that my bro has done great things, it's just that he isnt me. Thats what makes him something to my dad is that he isn't me. I dont know why this is, why he is like this to me but he is. I can't stand him, I don't answer the phone when he calls, I delete his emails, I dont even let him know when I am in Cali anymore, not like I would go see him anyways....I think I am just ogin to end I am sayin things people shouldnt really know about me anyways....lata