I can honestly say I don't like a thing about myself but when I'm around him, I feel flawless

May 09, 2005 16:14


Since I havent updated in 10 years, I'll go as far back as I can remember. heh. On Friday, I went to school for the first 3 hours, and then my mom came and picked me up, and we went to Canada for my little brother's ice hockey game.. came home around 4.. and then I hung out with JP cause his mom let him out since hes groouunndeeddd.. heh. Saturday, I woke up & went to Farmer Jack with my dad, and then came home and my parents left to Canada for the day.. so I watched The Notebook and I made Chad watch it with me.. I love that movie so so much.. but then, around 4, Jamie and Cory came over.. Cory ended up staying until like 9:00 and then Jonathan came over till like 11. My dad took us to taco bell, and then I ate and went to bed.. Sunday, I woke up at like 10, got up and ate, then went back to bed at 12 until 1:30.. <3 My brother went and got lunch, so I ate and watched Napoleon Dynamite.. heh then Jamie came over as I was washing off our driveway, and then I went in and got dressed, and we came back outside and played catch with Tony Robbins.. then she went home for a little bit to eat.. then JP came over.. and we talked my mom into taking us to Krispy Kreme cause JP said he could eat a whole dozen and I didnt believe him.. but as small as he is.. that kid can sure eat a lot.. lol we got home.. and then he left around 8:30? then Jamie came over and we had a bon fire.. we talked about evveerryythhinngggg & cried. I love her. I finally went inside and went to bed at 11:15.. I was hellaaa tired.

& today was pointless, as usual. First hour, we watched more of The Sound of Music. 2nd hour, corrected our tests from Friday.. 3rd hour.. tennis w/ Elma and let me tell you. It was soo ridiculously hot outside. I hate tennis already and it's only the first day.. ugh. Suicides tomorrow .. grose. =/ and then in 4th hour.. we did a worksheet and I talked to JP and ate my breadstick <3 .. 5th hour.. Me & JP got yelled at by Mr. Green for standing up in class .. wow. hes a DB. lol 6th hour.. took a quiz and then went over the homework from Friday.. hmm. more behind the cut. <3



Lately, everything just basically sucks. I'm probably gonna lose my best friend, who I've been friends with for over 10 years, over a guy who doesn't mean anything to me. I never had a problem with him until he made it personal.. but even when that happened.. me & her were the only ones affected by it and it seems like nobody even cares. My dad understands I think.. but I mean, he still can't do anything about it.. but he has been there for me when I needed to talk.. I even like spilled my heart out to Mr. Marshall today.. cried during 2nd hour.. hmm.. thats not somethin that happens every day. but yeah.. he basically told me that he knows I'm depressed but I have everything that I need to have a succuessful life..somehow he knew that I was never like this before.. he said I've changed so much throughout the whole year.. I guess that kinda made me think.. I don't even know what I want anymore though.. I'm never satisfied with anything.. I have no energy anymore.. it just suuucckkkksss. =( So after school, I came home and I've been talkin to John about everything.. he's for sure my bestfriend. I love love love love love him. I told him everything.. but now I have to go eat.. I'll probably write later.. if I feel like it.
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