It's 8:16 am will you wake up to me..........
Title, Innocence Lost (chapter 12)
Rating, R
Fandom, GC/Mest
Pairings, Tony/Benji, Billy/Quinn it is twincentric but no twincest….
summary, Something happened between Benji and Joel that has send Benji into a depressive cycle that he won't even let Tony into but what ever happened in the first place? And how can it be fixed?
*New chapter 12 up now… the rest are here too,
And a special thanks to joelymoely for all her help and beta-readingness on the magority of my stuff….
Chapter 1 \\Chapter 2 \\Chapter 3 \\Chapter 4 \\Chapter 5 \\Chapter 6\\Chapter 7\\Chapter 8\\Chapter 9\\Chapter 10\\
Chapter 11
Chapter 12.
Through the little pane of glass adoring the door to the hospital room they could see a doctor standing at the foot of the bed, and a few nurses standing around them. There was an IV running from the clear bag suspended on a metal rod. The liquid going through a thin tube and into the vein on their band mate’s arm. There was a second bag containing deep red blood, steadily dripping into yet another tube, and flowing into Benji. The reporters hadn’t arrived yet but it was inevitable that they would come.
Paul stood pacing back and forth, eyes downcast, and hands nervously entwined. Every so often he would look into the pane of glass separating him and the hospital room, only to see no change.
Tony was in the corner chair. His legs were up against his chest, with his feet up on the edge of the chair. His head was buried in his knees and occasionally his body would convulse in sobs, and it was anyone’s guess that he was crying. His bleached blonde hair was tinged red and caked in clumps with his boyfriend’s blood, as were his clothes and his hands had the substance dried upon them.
Billy sat beside Tony in the adjacent chair. He had blood all over him, and dried tears on his face. He had stopped crying and was blankly staring at the door waiting for someone to walk through. He thought to himself that it had to be a dream that Benji was going to walk through the door smiling and telling them all to get off their asses and do something with him. He had the note he pried out of Tony’s hands and it was folded in his pocket. He wanted to read it but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. It felt too final to him as if reading the note would make it final, make it real. Every so often he would reach over to touch Tony, make sure he was ok, but Tony would just flinch not wanting to be touched by anyone if Benji couldn’t touch him.
A man walked out of the room, letting it swing shut behind him. He had white hair, and almost too blue eyes. He wore wire frame glasses, and a white coat, on top of his collared shirt, and a nametag that read Dr. Freidman. He looked around at all the awaiting men,
"Who should I be talking to about Mr. Madden? Are any of you his family?"
Paul looked over at Tony, as he lifted his head up from his knees. His eyes were brimmed with tears and Paul whispered, “Do you want me to handle this?" When he got no answer other then the tears falling from Tony’s eyes he proceeded to walked over and introduces himself to the doctor. “Hello I am Paul Thomas; I am the one you can talk to."
"And what is your relation to Mr. Madden?" The doctor calmly replied.
"I am sorry he has no family here at the moment, I am a member of his band as is Billy," He started off, pointing in Billy’s direction, and then to Tony "and he is Tony Lovato, Benji’s…best friend. We are the closest thing to family he has right now."
"Well we usually don’t go over these things without family present but I guess we can make an exception" the doctor said, unsure before continuing. "He has lost a lot of blood. We gave him a blood transfusion, but he might need more as the days go on. I stitched up his wrist, but he has yet to regain consciousness. Our hopes are high that he should wake within an hour or two as the blood transfusion and IV start to take effect. If he does wake up within a few hours we believe he will be ok."
"Well that’s a relief." Paul sighed, "Can we go in?"
"Yes, it might do some good. Though unconscious he may be able to hear, and knowing someone is there might help him come out of his unconscious state sooner. May I ask you a question Mr. Thomas?"
"Yes, and call me Paul please." He politely responded.
"Do you plan to get him help once he is released?"
"Most likely yes, in my opinion at least. The final decision will be left up to his brother Joel, who we have been unable to reach at the moment and Tony, them being the closest people to him at the moment." Paul finished, and excused himself from talking to the doctor not wanting to continue that conversation. He walked over to Tony and asked if he was ready to go in, he weakly nodded before getting up with help from Billy and walking into the cold hospital room.
They sat Tony down in a chair they had pulled right up next to the bed. He reached over and grabbed Benji’s hand softly cradling it in his own. He was whispering,
"You need to wake up, I can’t lose you," and things about how much he loved him. Tony’s other hand was lightly pushing strands of hair out of his boyfriends eyes. They always seemed so in love, they cared for each other so much. When Tony was upset Benji was the first one there, as was vice versa. It was heart wrenching to see Tony this upset, and know that what he really needed was for Benji to wrap his arms around him, and that’s exactly what cannot happen.
They sat in that room for what seemed like an eternity, but more realistically was about an hour. Tony continued whispering to Benji softly. Paul was at the foot of the bed watching over them both, and he seemed just as worried for Tony as he was for Benji. Billy was in the other chair that was set up in the corner, the wrinkled and blood smeared paper that held what they assumed were Benji’s last words in his hand. He had avoided reading the note for a long time as if that would make it final, make what had happened real.
Benji’s eyes started to flutter, and he could be heard groaning as he tried to move. Tony smiled and perked up as he saw the movement coming from the bed. Benji’s eyes moved around the room, before settling on his boyfriends.
He tried to speak but the intubation tube was blocking any sound he wanted to make. He reached up and grabbed a pad from the side table and reached up for a pen. Paul pulled one out of his pocket and handed it to his band-mate.
As soon as the pen reached his hand he scribbled down, "What happened?"
Tony looked at it before answering, "You tried to kill yourself. Billy found you this morning, you’re in the hospital." His voice was shaking and he was on the verge of crying again, "Benji I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I love you and we will get through it together."
Again Benji began writing on the paper this time coming out with, "Don’t make me go away… I love you."
"Benji we all love you, especially Tony," Paul began, "we’re just going to do what’s best for you, even if you have to go away for a while." Paul’s voice was calm, and he was looking to Tony for reassurance, but Tony was just shaking his head. Paul could tell doing the right thing for Benji might not be that easy.
Tony’s eyes stared directly into those of Benji, and he whispered, "I love you too"
On the paper the words, "Please" appeared, everyone was confused as the words, "Don’t let him hurt me" appeared one letter at a time.
His eyes suddenly went to the door and it was pushed open and Joel appeared in the doorway. Joel seemed to be crying and visibly shaking. He walked over to the edge of the bed and asked what happened. Again Paul jumped in as to not make Tony repeat the event again, and told Joel what happened the night before.
Joel cried, and leaned down to his brother’s ear and in a voice only Benji could hear he whispered, "I am sorry Benji, I really am."
His brother’s eyes began to tear up and he looked at Tony and pointed again to the last words he had written on the paper.
"I won’t, I promise…" Tony responded to the words on the paper. Paul started to talk to Joel about what to do, and whether going to an institution was the best thing. As they fought about that in the corner, Billy read over the note. One sentence caught his eye the picture he has of you and I, is perfect and he doesn’t have to erase it over and over again, because it is beautiful as is. as he looked between that sentence and the paper on Benji’s chest that read, "Don’t let him hurt me" he realized something.
That picture was going to be an anniversary gift to Benji and Tony… the only one that had seen it was Joel.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yeah this chapter was kinda sucky sorry for that... and remember comment button is below...
Rating, R
Fandom, GC/Mest
Pairings, Tony/Benji, Billy/Quinn it is twincentric but no twincest….
summary, Something happened between Benji and Joel that has send Benji into a depressive cycle that he won't even let Tony into but what ever happened in the first place? And how can it be fixed?
*New chapter 12 up now… the rest are here too,
And a special thanks to joelymoely for all her help and beta-readingness on the magority of my stuff….
Chapter 1 \\Chapter 2 \\Chapter 3 \\Chapter 4 \\Chapter 5 \\Chapter 6\\Chapter 7\\Chapter 8\\Chapter 9\\Chapter 10\\
Chapter 11
Chapter 12.
Through the little pane of glass adoring the door to the hospital room they could see a doctor standing at the foot of the bed, and a few nurses standing around them. There was an IV running from the clear bag suspended on a metal rod. The liquid going through a thin tube and into the vein on their band mate’s arm. There was a second bag containing deep red blood, steadily dripping into yet another tube, and flowing into Benji. The reporters hadn’t arrived yet but it was inevitable that they would come.
Paul stood pacing back and forth, eyes downcast, and hands nervously entwined. Every so often he would look into the pane of glass separating him and the hospital room, only to see no change.
Tony was in the corner chair. His legs were up against his chest, with his feet up on the edge of the chair. His head was buried in his knees and occasionally his body would convulse in sobs, and it was anyone’s guess that he was crying. His bleached blonde hair was tinged red and caked in clumps with his boyfriend’s blood, as were his clothes and his hands had the substance dried upon them.
Billy sat beside Tony in the adjacent chair. He had blood all over him, and dried tears on his face. He had stopped crying and was blankly staring at the door waiting for someone to walk through. He thought to himself that it had to be a dream that Benji was going to walk through the door smiling and telling them all to get off their asses and do something with him. He had the note he pried out of Tony’s hands and it was folded in his pocket. He wanted to read it but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. It felt too final to him as if reading the note would make it final, make it real. Every so often he would reach over to touch Tony, make sure he was ok, but Tony would just flinch not wanting to be touched by anyone if Benji couldn’t touch him.
A man walked out of the room, letting it swing shut behind him. He had white hair, and almost too blue eyes. He wore wire frame glasses, and a white coat, on top of his collared shirt, and a nametag that read Dr. Freidman. He looked around at all the awaiting men,
"Who should I be talking to about Mr. Madden? Are any of you his family?"
Paul looked over at Tony, as he lifted his head up from his knees. His eyes were brimmed with tears and Paul whispered, “Do you want me to handle this?" When he got no answer other then the tears falling from Tony’s eyes he proceeded to walked over and introduces himself to the doctor. “Hello I am Paul Thomas; I am the one you can talk to."
"And what is your relation to Mr. Madden?" The doctor calmly replied.
"I am sorry he has no family here at the moment, I am a member of his band as is Billy," He started off, pointing in Billy’s direction, and then to Tony "and he is Tony Lovato, Benji’s…best friend. We are the closest thing to family he has right now."
"Well we usually don’t go over these things without family present but I guess we can make an exception" the doctor said, unsure before continuing. "He has lost a lot of blood. We gave him a blood transfusion, but he might need more as the days go on. I stitched up his wrist, but he has yet to regain consciousness. Our hopes are high that he should wake within an hour or two as the blood transfusion and IV start to take effect. If he does wake up within a few hours we believe he will be ok."
"Well that’s a relief." Paul sighed, "Can we go in?"
"Yes, it might do some good. Though unconscious he may be able to hear, and knowing someone is there might help him come out of his unconscious state sooner. May I ask you a question Mr. Thomas?"
"Yes, and call me Paul please." He politely responded.
"Do you plan to get him help once he is released?"
"Most likely yes, in my opinion at least. The final decision will be left up to his brother Joel, who we have been unable to reach at the moment and Tony, them being the closest people to him at the moment." Paul finished, and excused himself from talking to the doctor not wanting to continue that conversation. He walked over to Tony and asked if he was ready to go in, he weakly nodded before getting up with help from Billy and walking into the cold hospital room.
They sat Tony down in a chair they had pulled right up next to the bed. He reached over and grabbed Benji’s hand softly cradling it in his own. He was whispering,
"You need to wake up, I can’t lose you," and things about how much he loved him. Tony’s other hand was lightly pushing strands of hair out of his boyfriends eyes. They always seemed so in love, they cared for each other so much. When Tony was upset Benji was the first one there, as was vice versa. It was heart wrenching to see Tony this upset, and know that what he really needed was for Benji to wrap his arms around him, and that’s exactly what cannot happen.
They sat in that room for what seemed like an eternity, but more realistically was about an hour. Tony continued whispering to Benji softly. Paul was at the foot of the bed watching over them both, and he seemed just as worried for Tony as he was for Benji. Billy was in the other chair that was set up in the corner, the wrinkled and blood smeared paper that held what they assumed were Benji’s last words in his hand. He had avoided reading the note for a long time as if that would make it final, make what had happened real.
Benji’s eyes started to flutter, and he could be heard groaning as he tried to move. Tony smiled and perked up as he saw the movement coming from the bed. Benji’s eyes moved around the room, before settling on his boyfriends.
He tried to speak but the intubation tube was blocking any sound he wanted to make. He reached up and grabbed a pad from the side table and reached up for a pen. Paul pulled one out of his pocket and handed it to his band-mate.
As soon as the pen reached his hand he scribbled down, "What happened?"
Tony looked at it before answering, "You tried to kill yourself. Billy found you this morning, you’re in the hospital." His voice was shaking and he was on the verge of crying again, "Benji I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I love you and we will get through it together."
Again Benji began writing on the paper this time coming out with, "Don’t make me go away… I love you."
"Benji we all love you, especially Tony," Paul began, "we’re just going to do what’s best for you, even if you have to go away for a while." Paul’s voice was calm, and he was looking to Tony for reassurance, but Tony was just shaking his head. Paul could tell doing the right thing for Benji might not be that easy.
Tony’s eyes stared directly into those of Benji, and he whispered, "I love you too"
On the paper the words, "Please" appeared, everyone was confused as the words, "Don’t let him hurt me" appeared one letter at a time.
His eyes suddenly went to the door and it was pushed open and Joel appeared in the doorway. Joel seemed to be crying and visibly shaking. He walked over to the edge of the bed and asked what happened. Again Paul jumped in as to not make Tony repeat the event again, and told Joel what happened the night before.
Joel cried, and leaned down to his brother’s ear and in a voice only Benji could hear he whispered, "I am sorry Benji, I really am."
His brother’s eyes began to tear up and he looked at Tony and pointed again to the last words he had written on the paper.
"I won’t, I promise…" Tony responded to the words on the paper. Paul started to talk to Joel about what to do, and whether going to an institution was the best thing. As they fought about that in the corner, Billy read over the note. One sentence caught his eye the picture he has of you and I, is perfect and he doesn’t have to erase it over and over again, because it is beautiful as is. as he looked between that sentence and the paper on Benji’s chest that read, "Don’t let him hurt me" he realized something.
That picture was going to be an anniversary gift to Benji and Tony… the only one that had seen it was Joel.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yeah this chapter was kinda sucky sorry for that... and remember comment button is below...