hey man, why you always laughing at me? take a look in a mirror, cuz you are just like me
i feel like i've learned a lot since i've been here at college. about a lot of things.. and people for that matter. primarily myself. its amazing how much goes on behind the scenes that we silly fuckers have no clue about. the amount of drama that we pass on the streets on a daily basis is unreal, but we're completely blind to it. i shared a tentative plan with a few of you today. please, shut up about it. not because i've changed my mind but because i don't want people to know just yet. TOO LATE in some instances, but you'll have that. anyway. just knowing what i know about the people im close with, its amazing how much bullshit is floating around in the world that we aren't aware of. people on the whole are oblivious.
ive spent the past few days just kind of objectively observing, and people are friggin' crazy. straight up lock-em-away nuts. listening to people justify themselves about REALLY absurd positions makes me wonder if we can call our evolution progress. basically, i think we're doomed. honest. nelson touched on this in his giant novel of an entry that went largely (completely..) ignored. people are fucking ridiculous and this planet would be better off without us. i don't mean for this to come of as some idealistic hippie rant, but just look around. little kids are getting raped, murdered and addicted to crack. people are starving and dying of aids. we're all aware but have this mentality that someone else will take care of it. its too bad.
so we're clear, im just as guilty. and i want to do something about that. when i think about the number of lives ive touched both positively and negatively without even trying, i start to think what would happen if i applied myself? i dono though, people like to tell me im desperate for attention, so maybe its not true that it happened without trying. of course, i've always felt about 99% misunderstood by 99% of you. its not entirely accidental, but it is to a point. i tried to be more transparent the last few years but it kind of backfired because people leaped to conclusions. even so, it was only the stuff i wanted people to see. i digress.
ive been doing less and less of what's expected of me or what i 'should' do. more of what i want to do, and i've been infinitely happier. and a lot more confused about where i want to end up. but that shouldn't impact your lives in any significant way so don't worry about it. i realized recently that there's a lot of people i either exclusively talk to or exclusively listen to. there are very few that i can do both with, and its something i've come to value very highly. its not that i feel underappreciated, just underutilized. even by myself, i think. that statement is a bit circular being as i just said i shelter a lot of you from things about me. this is going simultaneously nowhere and all over the place so im going to sleep.
carry on.
ive spent the past few days just kind of objectively observing, and people are friggin' crazy. straight up lock-em-away nuts. listening to people justify themselves about REALLY absurd positions makes me wonder if we can call our evolution progress. basically, i think we're doomed. honest. nelson touched on this in his giant novel of an entry that went largely (completely..) ignored. people are fucking ridiculous and this planet would be better off without us. i don't mean for this to come of as some idealistic hippie rant, but just look around. little kids are getting raped, murdered and addicted to crack. people are starving and dying of aids. we're all aware but have this mentality that someone else will take care of it. its too bad.
so we're clear, im just as guilty. and i want to do something about that. when i think about the number of lives ive touched both positively and negatively without even trying, i start to think what would happen if i applied myself? i dono though, people like to tell me im desperate for attention, so maybe its not true that it happened without trying. of course, i've always felt about 99% misunderstood by 99% of you. its not entirely accidental, but it is to a point. i tried to be more transparent the last few years but it kind of backfired because people leaped to conclusions. even so, it was only the stuff i wanted people to see. i digress.
ive been doing less and less of what's expected of me or what i 'should' do. more of what i want to do, and i've been infinitely happier. and a lot more confused about where i want to end up. but that shouldn't impact your lives in any significant way so don't worry about it. i realized recently that there's a lot of people i either exclusively talk to or exclusively listen to. there are very few that i can do both with, and its something i've come to value very highly. its not that i feel underappreciated, just underutilized. even by myself, i think. that statement is a bit circular being as i just said i shelter a lot of you from things about me. this is going simultaneously nowhere and all over the place so im going to sleep.
carry on.