My Flaw

[foreversin]

Do I deserve this life. Sometimes I wonder when I am here alone and try to find out what I did wrong with this life to deserve this kind of treatment. This shameless mental illness or maybe my own flaws that make me me. I'm lonely and I really do need someone then again I don't deserve anyone. Someone fucked up like me will only hurt people and as I watch those people with envy in my eyes behind my sunglasses does anyone care. I mean I have a commanding presence but why dosn't anyone every come over to me and ask me. Is it my fault or is it something else. I mean people brought to my attention that i am dominate in a subtle way. Another of my friends says that i fit the tall dark and handsome sterotype so I make people afarid i'll turn them down without even trying. Hell I would halfway kill someone for a date. Then again everyone is so fucking picking espically me about who I'll date and i'm fucked up in the head and have to make sure they can tolerate me being me. I don't want to play the hiding game with anyone and I'm not really screaming what I am to the world. I do need someoen because a certian person is getting sick of me being affocinate with them.

I'm so scared of being alone with my sex life. i know what I want yet i'm more meek then I care to admit.. . .