When I Smell Your Perfume It Spells Out D-O-O-M Doom
How Far gone do I have to be before anyone notices something's wrong? At least when I move to Augusta I won't be so spacially challenged. Space is a killer after all and if you don't have enough it can start to wear out love's lining. I'm glad I don't feel that way but I think Heather may.
I give her credit because I can't stand me and she still puts up with me. There is still the trust factor, though. She thinks I'm cheating on her and I can't convince her that not only am I not cheating on her I never will. I wish she could see herself the way that I see her. She has such low self esteem. I think she's beautiful. Of course she thinks I'm ugly. Well... only sometimes. I mean I think I'm ugly, so it is wierd when she says I'm not.
Damn this sadness. You can't run away from it. It tracks you down and slits your wrists when your not looking. I don't even know why I'm sad, Heather makes me happy. Happier than I've ever been. But I'm sad.
Maybe I just feel left out. I'm the one that's always around. The fifth wheel. I'm that guy. I feel like I'm always in the way. Like I should leave every now and then just so she has some space, but I don't have anywhere to go. I don't know anyone. Well not anyone that she likes.
I swear the sadness just looks for ways to slip in. The littlest things in the world suddenly become huge deals because it doesn't think I should be happy. Well, FUCK sadness. I deserve to be happy don't I? I shouldn't have to feel sad if I don't want to. I shouldn't have to keep sewing my skin back together every other day. I'm happy goddamnit! I shouldn't be crying when I'm happy. I shouldn't be seeing sharp objects everywhere I go when I'm happy. I need a weapon against this pain. Something to make it stay away. I need to keep it away from Heather.
Tonight I swear the pain will die. Forever.
I give her credit because I can't stand me and she still puts up with me. There is still the trust factor, though. She thinks I'm cheating on her and I can't convince her that not only am I not cheating on her I never will. I wish she could see herself the way that I see her. She has such low self esteem. I think she's beautiful. Of course she thinks I'm ugly. Well... only sometimes. I mean I think I'm ugly, so it is wierd when she says I'm not.
Damn this sadness. You can't run away from it. It tracks you down and slits your wrists when your not looking. I don't even know why I'm sad, Heather makes me happy. Happier than I've ever been. But I'm sad.
Maybe I just feel left out. I'm the one that's always around. The fifth wheel. I'm that guy. I feel like I'm always in the way. Like I should leave every now and then just so she has some space, but I don't have anywhere to go. I don't know anyone. Well not anyone that she likes.
I swear the sadness just looks for ways to slip in. The littlest things in the world suddenly become huge deals because it doesn't think I should be happy. Well, FUCK sadness. I deserve to be happy don't I? I shouldn't have to feel sad if I don't want to. I shouldn't have to keep sewing my skin back together every other day. I'm happy goddamnit! I shouldn't be crying when I'm happy. I shouldn't be seeing sharp objects everywhere I go when I'm happy. I need a weapon against this pain. Something to make it stay away. I need to keep it away from Heather.
Tonight I swear the pain will die. Forever.