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I wanted to cry this morning. I was in Creative Writing and I was trying to find a way to forgive myself. I couldn’t. so I wrote a crappy poem, the kind I’d write if I was in seventh grade, so this was it…
I shouldn’t be the one
With tears on the brims of my eyes
I feel terrible
I wouldn’t call me friend
I forgot.
I wanted to go hug him close
To feel the one minute appreciation
To provide comfort.
I wanted to give him a kiss on the cheek
And I wanted so much for it to be okay
For him to let a tear roll off his
In front of me.
I wish he could know
How my heart breaks
How I’m crying inside
I hope he realizes
I love him
I hope he knows I wanted
To experience this with him
But I forgot
I pushed it aside
To something I saw more important
To some worthless time
I met her once
The one who died.
She smiled at me and muttered
“You’re the girl he always talks about.”
I felt my heart slowly melt
He loved me too I told myself
But I forgot
And the feeling I try to grasp
Is lost
Vanished
Because I simply
Forgot.
This was after I realized I forgot to go to a wake for Mike, for his great grandma.... And I just felt so terrible, no other way to describe it. I felt like crap, and the rest of the day went like that. One thing after the other, and I just wanted to go home and cry.
A half an hour ago Mike called. We talked, I apologized, and he forgave me. He said he knew I loved him, it was okay. Then we celebrated another college acceptance for him, then we talked more- about random stuff Mike and I talk about. After I hug up I felt a little better, but just a little bit.
Other then that I hate Mr. Benware . . . .
I shouldn’t be the one
With tears on the brims of my eyes
I feel terrible
I wouldn’t call me friend
I forgot.
I wanted to go hug him close
To feel the one minute appreciation
To provide comfort.
I wanted to give him a kiss on the cheek
And I wanted so much for it to be okay
For him to let a tear roll off his
In front of me.
I wish he could know
How my heart breaks
How I’m crying inside
I hope he realizes
I love him
I hope he knows I wanted
To experience this with him
But I forgot
I pushed it aside
To something I saw more important
To some worthless time
I met her once
The one who died.
She smiled at me and muttered
“You’re the girl he always talks about.”
I felt my heart slowly melt
He loved me too I told myself
But I forgot
And the feeling I try to grasp
Is lost
Vanished
Because I simply
Forgot.
This was after I realized I forgot to go to a wake for Mike, for his great grandma.... And I just felt so terrible, no other way to describe it. I felt like crap, and the rest of the day went like that. One thing after the other, and I just wanted to go home and cry.
A half an hour ago Mike called. We talked, I apologized, and he forgave me. He said he knew I loved him, it was okay. Then we celebrated another college acceptance for him, then we talked more- about random stuff Mike and I talk about. After I hug up I felt a little better, but just a little bit.
Other then that I hate Mr. Benware . . . .