It's not supposed to feel this way- I need you, I need you. More and more each day...
So...A lot of stuff is on my mind. A lot of valuable time is at stake. I dont want to waste it- and I dont want to regret any choice that I decide to make. I can get back into the professional world of ballet. I can work my shrinking by the day (praise God)bum off and do auditions throughout febuary... I can spend 4 weeks or 6 weeks of my summer doing 16 classes a week of the thing I love.
Or I can teach ballet at a newbie school over the summer... and go to Lee and dance at the Tennessee ballet this fall....
I can take a year off and Dance at GAB... or even take the year off from school and move up to Pennsylvania to dance at the Rock.
I can do anointed worship dances with Esther Shelley and Vikki for the rest of my life. which would be great...
I feel like whatever I choose, I let someone down who's invested something in me at some point in time who is expecting me to accomplish something according to what they've instilled in me, in a place in time where they're able to see it.
If that made any sense....
Michelle is expecting that if I'm coming back doing 11 hours of ballet a week, working my butt off, trying to find whatever it takes to get better, that I love ballet, and the ballet world... and that she wants to see me be accomplished in it... Janusz wants it. Gina wants it. Natalie, even she wants it.
Lisa would rather have me dance with the church... as would Esther and Shelley... I love the anointing, but I want BALLET. That glorifies God too. That's anointed too....
Kells would rather see me go into ministry. So would 10 billion other of the missionaries and staff at mount paran.
"Go to lee, get married, be a missionary"
how can all of my dreams and desires possibly be fullfiled without letting someone, or myself down?
what about Jesus?
what do I do NOW?
Praise God, right?
~~Foreverly
Or I can teach ballet at a newbie school over the summer... and go to Lee and dance at the Tennessee ballet this fall....
I can take a year off and Dance at GAB... or even take the year off from school and move up to Pennsylvania to dance at the Rock.
I can do anointed worship dances with Esther Shelley and Vikki for the rest of my life. which would be great...
I feel like whatever I choose, I let someone down who's invested something in me at some point in time who is expecting me to accomplish something according to what they've instilled in me, in a place in time where they're able to see it.
If that made any sense....
Michelle is expecting that if I'm coming back doing 11 hours of ballet a week, working my butt off, trying to find whatever it takes to get better, that I love ballet, and the ballet world... and that she wants to see me be accomplished in it... Janusz wants it. Gina wants it. Natalie, even she wants it.
Lisa would rather have me dance with the church... as would Esther and Shelley... I love the anointing, but I want BALLET. That glorifies God too. That's anointed too....
Kells would rather see me go into ministry. So would 10 billion other of the missionaries and staff at mount paran.
"Go to lee, get married, be a missionary"
how can all of my dreams and desires possibly be fullfiled without letting someone, or myself down?
what about Jesus?
what do I do NOW?
Praise God, right?
~~Foreverly