Rawr
Tonight was a great night,
Truely.
Carly, James and I went to
this "teen night club" thing.
We played pool, watched the
most white guy pull out these
kickass dance moves, It was just
an all around good time.
Not one of those rudy "ORGASMIC"
times...haha...those are so
dead. Kind of symoblic to the
detachment of certain people.
I feel more free now. All that
shit was completely pulling me
down.
The only thing I regret is that
Shawn and I don't have the chance
to be friends. Not really anyway,
Just because thats how the cookie
crumbles.
Anyway James Carly and I went
to Taco Hell and It was pretty
good actually.
We sat in these kick ass old
chairs and watched this guy
completely "punish" of the pool
(Figureatively Speaking)
Then I got these weird vibes,
This one guy was playing pool
with one of his buddies and he
was attractive...
I didn't know If It was just me
or if he was gay or not. sometimes
when I get really...aroused (or lonely)
then I sometimes have these feelings
which is more like wishful thinking
sort of feelings...But It turns out
he was gay, So undoubtably.
I love gaydar. Its just the greatest
thing to be able to spot a homosexual
without actually knowing them or anything.
haha stupid Hetero's don't have that....
Anyway...I dunno...Being in those
type situtions always depress me because
I want to like go say something or...I dunno
Its just one of those feelings. It depresses
me that I don't have anyone, It didn't look
like he had anyone either just because It
didn't seem like his friend was homosexual,
He might have been Bi, those damn
elusive bisexuals, damn them! haha...
My friend jenny, Got me thinking that this
guy (Ben) might be gay. It never crossed my mind
before. Then she goes and tells me that someone
is trying to hook a "secret" person up with
Steven (Really Bitchy annoying queen) so
she asks me if I think Ben is...and I didn't
think so...I think hes straight but he kinda
sticks to himself and maybe hes found a way
to dodge gaydar? haha.
I personally think its that one blonde freshman
that goes to ponax, Whos tall and really thin.
He is gay, no disputing that one.
There are atleast 5 obvious homosexuals at
ponax. (Rodney, Steven, Fil, The blonde guy, and this one other guy)
I don't know If I'm "obvious" maybe?
No one has really pointed it out, I don't think
I am...but maybe...meh.
I wanna see The Passion of The Christ. I'm
not religious it just appeals to me. I don't
know why...I don't usually do well with gory movies.
I need...someone to love...that part of me
feels desolate and I don't want to get use to
not having that jubilant joyous side of me. blah.
I'm seriously thinking about dropping pot, It's
been over a month and I think my life could
be so much more fufilling without it. I mean, I
doubt it, but it could be easy to fall right back
into the position that Karen is in.
I love karen...but I'm seriously thinking of letting go
because I don't like the drug related drama that comes
with her. I worried about her,as a real friend would,
and it got me no where...So I'm just going to stop.
Yea...
Fil is such a Fairy, Fil the Fairy.
haha.
Right...I'm bored.
A bit tired too, I thinkI'm going to go to bed...
Yep....
'Night.
<3
Truely.
Carly, James and I went to
this "teen night club" thing.
We played pool, watched the
most white guy pull out these
kickass dance moves, It was just
an all around good time.
Not one of those rudy "ORGASMIC"
times...haha...those are so
dead. Kind of symoblic to the
detachment of certain people.
I feel more free now. All that
shit was completely pulling me
down.
The only thing I regret is that
Shawn and I don't have the chance
to be friends. Not really anyway,
Just because thats how the cookie
crumbles.
Anyway James Carly and I went
to Taco Hell and It was pretty
good actually.
We sat in these kick ass old
chairs and watched this guy
completely "punish" of the pool
(Figureatively Speaking)
Then I got these weird vibes,
This one guy was playing pool
with one of his buddies and he
was attractive...
I didn't know If It was just me
or if he was gay or not. sometimes
when I get really...aroused (or lonely)
then I sometimes have these feelings
which is more like wishful thinking
sort of feelings...But It turns out
he was gay, So undoubtably.
I love gaydar. Its just the greatest
thing to be able to spot a homosexual
without actually knowing them or anything.
haha stupid Hetero's don't have that....
Anyway...I dunno...Being in those
type situtions always depress me because
I want to like go say something or...I dunno
Its just one of those feelings. It depresses
me that I don't have anyone, It didn't look
like he had anyone either just because It
didn't seem like his friend was homosexual,
He might have been Bi, those damn
elusive bisexuals, damn them! haha...
My friend jenny, Got me thinking that this
guy (Ben) might be gay. It never crossed my mind
before. Then she goes and tells me that someone
is trying to hook a "secret" person up with
Steven (Really Bitchy annoying queen) so
she asks me if I think Ben is...and I didn't
think so...I think hes straight but he kinda
sticks to himself and maybe hes found a way
to dodge gaydar? haha.
I personally think its that one blonde freshman
that goes to ponax, Whos tall and really thin.
He is gay, no disputing that one.
There are atleast 5 obvious homosexuals at
ponax. (Rodney, Steven, Fil, The blonde guy, and this one other guy)
I don't know If I'm "obvious" maybe?
No one has really pointed it out, I don't think
I am...but maybe...meh.
I wanna see The Passion of The Christ. I'm
not religious it just appeals to me. I don't
know why...I don't usually do well with gory movies.
I need...someone to love...that part of me
feels desolate and I don't want to get use to
not having that jubilant joyous side of me. blah.
I'm seriously thinking about dropping pot, It's
been over a month and I think my life could
be so much more fufilling without it. I mean, I
doubt it, but it could be easy to fall right back
into the position that Karen is in.
I love karen...but I'm seriously thinking of letting go
because I don't like the drug related drama that comes
with her. I worried about her,as a real friend would,
and it got me no where...So I'm just going to stop.
Yea...
Fil is such a Fairy, Fil the Fairy.
haha.
Right...I'm bored.
A bit tired too, I thinkI'm going to go to bed...
Yep....
'Night.
<3