(no subject)
Dear friend,
I'm still feeling content. Well, maybe not content but I'm not feeling suicidal or any other signs of my clinical depression. I don't know how to describe what I'm feeling really. Instead, I'll just type away about what's going on in that head of mine. At least, what I think what's going on. Can't be too sure these days.
By wanting to go to Tucker's, I'm not saying that I'm insane. I think I'm just being a coward and wanting to run away to a safe haven and I think I'll find it there. I just need some time to figure out who I am and where I'm going. I need to get my head on straight and that's awfully hard to do when you have grades and parents that are like mine. I'm not saying I don't deserve it, I know I do. I brought the parental issue upon myself, as I did with most of my grades. Most meaning all except English. I swear my teacher is insane. Melissa is an honor roll student in all honors classes and she has about 20 more points than myself on her interim under English. We both have F's. Any of you that have ever had to deal with the teacher that is currently known as Mrs. Crockett (she got married last summer or the summer before) know what I'm talking about.
Because my grades are so poor, my mom is constantly lecturing me abouthow I won't get into college. I mean, I know they're really bbad, but it's the worst I've ever done. Plus, it's the interim; it can be brought up. I'll just have to work really hard and have my own little conferences with my teachers. I don't feel like getting my parents involved with that. It's my responsibility and having a nagging parent after me won't get my grades to go up.
Today, my mom decided to make my grounding more severe from last weekend. For those of you that don't know, I took speed and made-out with multiple people. I can't even go to the gym anymore. At least that's what she said today, I think she'll take that back.
I just want some guidance from my friends. Hell, even teachers would be better as long as it wasn't Crockett. I would just take it better. If you are willing to help guide me, let me know somehow, you can remain anonymous if you wish. I really do take gentle guidance the best. You can leave comments here, in my e-mail, slip them in my locker or backpack, type a note and get it to me somehow, whatever. My parents just really aren't helping. I know that I brought this on myself but I feel I've changed.
I feel it'd be more efficiant if they'd let me go out again and stop nagging. They can have one of my friends spy on me for them if they want. I mean, they can bring up the topic every once in a while but every day is a bit much.
I was lectured today on how I'll never get into college. Since I'm so "sexual", I'll end up being a prostitute. My prostitution job will kill me either by my pimp, a customer, or STD's and my mom doesn't want to bury me.
She spent like 30 minutes going on about that.
Mom and Dad, if you're reading this, the next paragraph is aimed at you.
I know what did was wrong. I'm not saying that you're terrible parents that abuse me or anything. I only did speed once and only planned to do it once. I haven't been making-out with multiple people for very long so it's easily corrected. It's only ONE bad progress report. It's only an INTERIM. I know, the grades are still shockingly low, but all I'm saying is that they can be brought up. I have had a bit of a wake up call, but you'll never see that if you don't give me a chance.
Love,
Amanda
I'm still feeling content. Well, maybe not content but I'm not feeling suicidal or any other signs of my clinical depression. I don't know how to describe what I'm feeling really. Instead, I'll just type away about what's going on in that head of mine. At least, what I think what's going on. Can't be too sure these days.
By wanting to go to Tucker's, I'm not saying that I'm insane. I think I'm just being a coward and wanting to run away to a safe haven and I think I'll find it there. I just need some time to figure out who I am and where I'm going. I need to get my head on straight and that's awfully hard to do when you have grades and parents that are like mine. I'm not saying I don't deserve it, I know I do. I brought the parental issue upon myself, as I did with most of my grades. Most meaning all except English. I swear my teacher is insane. Melissa is an honor roll student in all honors classes and she has about 20 more points than myself on her interim under English. We both have F's. Any of you that have ever had to deal with the teacher that is currently known as Mrs. Crockett (she got married last summer or the summer before) know what I'm talking about.
Because my grades are so poor, my mom is constantly lecturing me abouthow I won't get into college. I mean, I know they're really bbad, but it's the worst I've ever done. Plus, it's the interim; it can be brought up. I'll just have to work really hard and have my own little conferences with my teachers. I don't feel like getting my parents involved with that. It's my responsibility and having a nagging parent after me won't get my grades to go up.
Today, my mom decided to make my grounding more severe from last weekend. For those of you that don't know, I took speed and made-out with multiple people. I can't even go to the gym anymore. At least that's what she said today, I think she'll take that back.
I just want some guidance from my friends. Hell, even teachers would be better as long as it wasn't Crockett. I would just take it better. If you are willing to help guide me, let me know somehow, you can remain anonymous if you wish. I really do take gentle guidance the best. You can leave comments here, in my e-mail, slip them in my locker or backpack, type a note and get it to me somehow, whatever. My parents just really aren't helping. I know that I brought this on myself but I feel I've changed.
I feel it'd be more efficiant if they'd let me go out again and stop nagging. They can have one of my friends spy on me for them if they want. I mean, they can bring up the topic every once in a while but every day is a bit much.
I was lectured today on how I'll never get into college. Since I'm so "sexual", I'll end up being a prostitute. My prostitution job will kill me either by my pimp, a customer, or STD's and my mom doesn't want to bury me.
She spent like 30 minutes going on about that.
Mom and Dad, if you're reading this, the next paragraph is aimed at you.
I know what did was wrong. I'm not saying that you're terrible parents that abuse me or anything. I only did speed once and only planned to do it once. I haven't been making-out with multiple people for very long so it's easily corrected. It's only ONE bad progress report. It's only an INTERIM. I know, the grades are still shockingly low, but all I'm saying is that they can be brought up. I have had a bit of a wake up call, but you'll never see that if you don't give me a chance.
Love,
Amanda