Jun 11, 2011 13:06
I believe that eating disorders are addictions. When I was bulimic, I was addicted to eating sugary foods and at times to purging (feelings of fullness made me worry that I was becoming 'fat' and I did not feel 'ok' until after purging my food). Before that, I was addicted to counting calories and exercise. I seem to have the ability to be addicted to anything. At the moment, it appears that I am (once again) addicted to LiveJournal. I have spent waaaay too much time on here since I joined. I know this because there are chores that I have disregarded in order to write on LiveJournal. Further, I have thought about LiveJournal and what I was going to post on it at random times during the day, times when my activities had absolutely nothing to do with LiveJournal....Finally, akin to my other 'real' addictions, I have lied about it's presence. When my partner asked me what I had been doing for the past few hours, I lied because I was embarrassed about my obsession with my new past-time. Another similarity is that I do not love LiveJournal, as I did not love inducing vomiting in public washrooms after eating food in restaurants with friends that made me feel 'fat'.... I do not particularly want to be on LiveJournal writing this comment at this time; I'd much prefer to be asleep, resting up for a morning work shift tomorrow. So whyyyyy WHY am I on here?
Theory of the night: I have an addictive personality.....
QUESTION: Why can't I be addicted to something more USEFUL? Time to try a little harder to get addicted to...cleaning? Writing an epic novel that will make me millions? Going to bed at a reasonable time, PERHAPS?
XOXOXOXO
bulimia,
addictions,
livejournal,
purging,
addictive personalities,
eating disorders