meds

[foreverbratty]

I get chewed out everytime I forget my meds and it sucks... they act like I forget on purpose but I can feel it when I've forgotten them after its too late to take them inorder to keep my schedual, and that feeling (though impossible to discribe) is worse than any chewing out they could do. There is two possible reasons that I can think of for the feeling either my body needs the level to stay constant and it can't take missing one dose, or is it possible for my body to be addicted to these meds? The feeling does not consist of any sort of seizure before during or after it is just a feeling. A strange sensation and then of course after that feeling comes my heart will race because even though I'm not afraid of having a seizure. it is the waiting and the wondering. I know that JUST missing a dose won't cause me to seize it has to be combine with a trigger and the specific trigger decides which seizure I have. (I have had plenty of time to figure it out) in order for me to have a grandmal aka tonic-clonic I must be under alot of stress, petimals aka absence seizures can be induced by lack of sleep, deep breaths one right after the other or minor amounts of stress.Any seizure I have in between have to have mid amounts of stress and/or lack of sleep... the reason my meds were upped before was because the doctor said I shouldn't seize from missing just one dose. I havn't told him bout the sensations cuz he would as me to discribe them and how do you discribe something thats indiscribable?

There is one other time I get a odd sensation, and even though I am not photo sencitive the sensation is caused by the first light in archies bathroom.I am also the first to notice the slightest flicker in the lights outside of kroger even before anyone else can notice when they are staring right at it (it makes me feel like I'm seeing things lol). Is this all normal for someone who isn't photo sensitive?