update
i'm not quite sure what this one is going to end up being about, but i felt like i should write a blog. here we go. we'll start at mexico. as i'm sure most of you have heard by now, it was another great experience. there's not a lot of ways to describe it. i learned a lot, but don't think i got as much out of everything as i'm supposed to (as always). it was nice, however, to get some things off my back and out into the open. i feel a little bit loosened up from that. after mexico, i was really excited to go back and hang out with my friends. i was really suprised how much i missed them. especially chels and kaley. after living with chels for two weeks then just going off to mexico and not talking to her for a week was really weird for me. i wanted to tell her all these things, but i couldn't. i think one thing that bothers me about going away and stuff like that is that you're leaving reality. yes, you're supposed to get away from all that stuff, but guys...it's life. i mean, well im not sure how to explain it, so i'm not going to try. anyway, we all hung out and it was really fun. the week coming back into school was not bad because it was a wasl week and every day after monday was a late start. to add to that, i also didn't have a third period to go to. still don't. the third, fourth, and fifth graders that i work with are still doing wasl testing, so i have nothing to do. so today i sat in britts car. gave me a lot of time to think....while i was going kaley's math homework. that brings me to my latest issue. i don't mean to sound so typical, but it's about a boy. we really hit it off when he came back. and i'm really happy about that cause when i walked into first period that day he came i knew then on i wanted him. so i worked on it. by the time it was time to leave for mexico we were pretty much together, i mean, he'd walk me to my classes and we'd kiss in the hallways and he'd skip third period the wasl week cause i had nothing to do so we'd talk and he'd hold my hand at school and places and we'd try and hang out outside of school and all that. it was good. he left me really cute messages while i was in mexico too. well i came home and everything was fine. we were supposed to hang out the day after i got home, but things at his house happened, so we couldn't. we talked on the phone for a minute but that was all. then we went to school on monday and i finally got to see him and loved it cause he's so adorable. i don't know. i don't know exactly when it changed, but i think it was this monday. or when i noticed it at least. he acted really weird in first period and didn't talk at all. so i was like okay...whatever. and then after class he just kinda walked off. fine. well at lunch i found out through some people that on that past saturday he had hooked with another girl. okay. what am i supposed to think about that? we're not really together...and i did some stuff that would be hypicritical to judge him for doing whatever he did with her. he hasn't told me yet and i have no idea what to do/think. i can't really get it out of my head. i feel like it shouldn't bug me, but it does. it really does. i want it to go away. but i mean, at least i know why he's acting funny, right? i just want him to tell me about it and i'll tell him what happened with me, and everything will be fine, right? or maybe i just live in some fantasy world. anyway, i think i'm done ranting for a little bit. and advice or whatever, let me know. love &peace.