She isn't real... I can't make her real...
She isn't real... I can't make her real...
So what do you do when everything you though you had all figured out comes to a screeching halt. A screeching, burning, twisted, halt on the I 90 in you 2004 Pontiac Grand Prix, coming home from along night and not a long enough nap?
You start over...
I am lucky to be alive today. Yesterday morning around 7:12 am, I fell asleep at the wheel. Not only putting myself at risk but putting everyone on the road at risk as well. I am badly banged up on the outside but nothing life threatening, or so I would like to believe.
I have been complaining alot lately because I no longer feel like myself. I have become caught up in all that comes and goes, instead of the real things that matter. I placed material and superficial things first in my life to become what I always tried to be, someone other than myself. To become fake. The truth is that I am almost positive a part of me died that morning, the part I have been trying to get rid of for some time now. All the pretend, all the superficial, all the layers of fake that became a part of who I am, gone.
Now, sitting here, I can do nothing more than fall to my knees and thank God, for his presence in my life. I truly believe He works in mysterious ways. All this time I have been trying to figure out what is going to happen next, I have failed to appreciate the life around me, that truly is too beautiful to pass off.
Being reckless is not cool. It is not fun, or exciting, and far from intelegent. We are only given one life to work with. One time on this earth, to chose to do whats good and whats right. And although I hate to admit I have heard this statement many times, it is not the same. Once you realize you could have had that privelage of wakng up in the morning taken away, everything seems to make alot more sence, seems to be alot more applicable.
No one will ever know the haunting feeling a person displays once they are in an accident. It's an empty feeling of dismay, and disbelief. The thoughts running through my head make it hard for me not to cry. If I had never seen my family again, or if I had never seen Troy, what would become of my memory?
But there is no need to dwell on the bad things in life, sometime they can cause you to loose sight of all the good in the world. And it is my new found appreciation for everything that is allowing me to get through this, and keep the mindset that I need to live everyday as if it were my last.
I'm not ok, I'm better....
So what do you do when everything you though you had all figured out comes to a screeching halt. A screeching, burning, twisted, halt on the I 90 in you 2004 Pontiac Grand Prix, coming home from along night and not a long enough nap?
You start over...
I am lucky to be alive today. Yesterday morning around 7:12 am, I fell asleep at the wheel. Not only putting myself at risk but putting everyone on the road at risk as well. I am badly banged up on the outside but nothing life threatening, or so I would like to believe.
I have been complaining alot lately because I no longer feel like myself. I have become caught up in all that comes and goes, instead of the real things that matter. I placed material and superficial things first in my life to become what I always tried to be, someone other than myself. To become fake. The truth is that I am almost positive a part of me died that morning, the part I have been trying to get rid of for some time now. All the pretend, all the superficial, all the layers of fake that became a part of who I am, gone.
Now, sitting here, I can do nothing more than fall to my knees and thank God, for his presence in my life. I truly believe He works in mysterious ways. All this time I have been trying to figure out what is going to happen next, I have failed to appreciate the life around me, that truly is too beautiful to pass off.
Being reckless is not cool. It is not fun, or exciting, and far from intelegent. We are only given one life to work with. One time on this earth, to chose to do whats good and whats right. And although I hate to admit I have heard this statement many times, it is not the same. Once you realize you could have had that privelage of wakng up in the morning taken away, everything seems to make alot more sence, seems to be alot more applicable.
No one will ever know the haunting feeling a person displays once they are in an accident. It's an empty feeling of dismay, and disbelief. The thoughts running through my head make it hard for me not to cry. If I had never seen my family again, or if I had never seen Troy, what would become of my memory?
But there is no need to dwell on the bad things in life, sometime they can cause you to loose sight of all the good in the world. And it is my new found appreciation for everything that is allowing me to get through this, and keep the mindset that I need to live everyday as if it were my last.
I'm not ok, I'm better....