ello stranger.
My last proper post was in Oct?! Can you believe it? I MIA-ed for a month. Yes I MIA every often but not on my blog. :( Life's getting too busy huh? That I don't even have proper time to blog. No more me-time. sigh.
2012 went pretty fast huh...
I was talking to my colleague, saying that I'm learning Jap now.. planning of learning an instrument next year... and he asked
"Then you won't have time to learn insurance."
Kind of struck me pretty hard and set me thinking. Am I trying so hard to catch back my life that I'm wasting my current life?
I couldn't learn Jap when I was young because I didn't have the $$. Same for instrument. But right now, will it be insurance the most important thing that I need to master? Hmmm.. but work-life balance. LOL. Guess I don't have the luxury of getting that? I don't know.
2012 is the first year I've worked for the full whole year (which means I need to pay income tax too). It's kind of different, I feel. Last year, I was totally a newbie. I can use excuses like "I'm still new!". But right now, after working for near 18 months, I can't really say that right? I have 5 colleagues who came in after me (though they have more experience than me), but it's kind of, i'm not the most junior of all. And yea, another fresh grad came in. So being NEW isn't an excuse at all. I'M STILL RELATIVELY NEW but I should know enough already. And what's enough?
Somehow I have this feeling... 2013 is the make or break year. :( Whether I do it, or I don't. 2 years to prove myself. It's amazing that how someone like me changed so much. Someone who thought that 2 years graduate trainee was too long. Right now, I doubt I can be promoted for the next 3 years. I just think that I know too little.
When can I be an underwriter? I have no idea. 10 years? I have a colleague who is an underwriter is 10 years older than me. But setting him as a reference is crazy. LOL. Somehow I can see why he is where he is now. Kind of weird. I wasn't like that when I was studying. LOL. I wasn't that inferior. Perhaps I'm really doing what I like to do but not good at. I do think I'm crazy sometimes. Doing what I like but not what I'm good at. I may never succeed. Nah, I still believe I will.. but just need slightly more time. :) Oh well, I guess I still have that minimum level of confidence in me. As in, everyone can don't believe that you can make it, but you have to believe in yourself, have faith in yourself.
And I don't like the idea of comparing/referencing. You are yourself. An unique self. Every path is different (though there are plenty of similarities). If not, does that mean that I can't be promoted before my senior? Maybe, perhaps. But I don't think that's an excuse. As in I do think people who are more junior than me may have a better career advancement than me. I don't deny this possiblity. I'm not working in a world whereby only experience matters.
That's why I don't like people commenting things like "We have better benefits and etc." It may not suit you in the first place. Every person is unique and so is every company.
I do feel insecure. Like seriously. But just have to keep going forward and ask for help. :) I have a good boss & colleagues. I'm really lucky! ^^
And when I'm thinking about work for next year, I have a friend who went to meet her pre-wedding photographer. She was planning to take her pre-wedding photos next year 2nd half and ROM? No idea. But I'm so happy for her. She's most prob the first good friend I know that is getting married. And I'm happy for sq n shar too! ^^ He proposed on 12.12.12. heh, romantic man? But does proposal anniversary matters? I'm curious about this. They may be the first couple whom I know both of them personally to get married! But the flat is ready... 2016... Same period as Louise & Nat? Hmmmm... I can see myself being terribly broke though. Oh well, happily broke. :D
While I'm still sexy, free and single. (Is the order correct? LOL. SJ's song which I don't think I heard it before. LOL.) Worried? yea, getting to. And get pressurised by my mum. o.0 and my sisters (who are equally being pressurised by my mum). -.- Meeting my MR Right. It has been a long wait huh?
He better be worth it. :P
w love,
sushi. :)