Aubrey Anderson-Emmons's Mom on Being a Stage Mom
It's a rare thing to find a showbiz parent who's willing to talk about what it's really like to raise a child star. Shows like Toddlers & Tiaras have given the words "stage mom" such a negative image that most Hollywood mothers avoid the limelight, lest they be accused of hijacking their child's fame (or worse). So it was very interesting to come across these two interviews with Amy Anderson, mother of one of the biggest kids on TV today, Modern Family's 7-year-old Aubrey Anderson-Emmons. Part of what makes Amy and Aubrey's story so interesting is that Amy had a showbiz career of her own. Working in Hollywood for 13 years as a actress, writer, and comedienne, she created the first Asian-American stand-up showcase, Chop Shtick.
Aubrey, age 4, and Amy attend a release party for Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked, March 2012
But for now, Amy, 43, has put her own career on hold to support her daughter. During Aubrey's first year on Modern Family - she joined the show in 2011, when she was only 4 - Amy did continue her stand-up comedy act, but she says that "balancing my job and hers almost killed me. By the end of the Modern Family season, I'd been traveling nonstop while also being a stage mom and a regular mom, and I thought, 'I can't do this. I'm going to die.'" But walking away from it wasn't easy, either. "For almost 18 years, I've worked on my acting career and then put everything on hold, which has been hard. I'm not resentful but I do struggle with it."
Aubrey, 5, with a stuffed animal and her mom at the BAFTA/LA Tea Party, September 2012
Aubrey was still in preschool when her mother took her to the Modern Family audition for Lily. "'You're not going to get it,' I told her over and over," Amy recalls. "'They're going to see lots of little girls, and they are only going to pick one." But she was wrong. Aubrey's animated, energetic personality stood out, and she got the role of Lily with zero acting experience. "It was such a whirlwind, that we just ran with it. She was so little, I had to be there - she couldn't cut her own food or put on her shoes when she started the show."
Aubrey, 5, and Amy at the premiere of Sofia the First: Once Upon a Princess, November 2012
Today, Aubrey gets many of the show's biggest laughs, as her mini-diva Lily continually deflates the egos of her uptight parents Cam and Mitchell, a gay couple who adopted Lily from Vietnam as a baby. For Modern Family's first two seasons, Lily was played by identical twins Ella & Jaden Hiller. Recalling how his daughters got the part, their dad Doug echoes Amy: "We saw an ad on Craigslist looking for identical Asian girl twins, so we sent in a picture and they were cast. It was crazy." But as the twins grew older, it became clear to their parents that they didn't enjoy being on set. "So we told the producers the girls wouldn't be coming back," mom Michelle says, and they didn't waver even when the producers offered them more money and better terms.
Aubrey, 6, clings to Amy's hand as they arrive in Sydney, Australia, February 2014
This just goes to show that acting isn't for every kid. "Every kid is good at something," Amy says, "and for parents, there is no greater story than watching their kid work hard at a project and executing it with joy." Aubrey enjoys acting - for she 2012 Emmy awards (where she was the youngest person on the red carpet) she even did a special short film, portraying herself as a bratty, offscreen monster who terrorized her costars - and when she watches Modern Family at home, "I always fast-forward to my part."
At the premiere afterparty for Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No-Good Very Bad Day at a Dave & Buster's, October 2014
Amy was initially wary of Aubrey getting so much fame at such a young age, but now, she's at peace with it. "I've become very close friends with other sane, nice, grounded stage parents, which has been really helpful. Just like not all child stars end up in rehab, most parents aren't the overbearing stage moms you hear stories about, living vicariously through their child." Mother and daughter recently performed together for a fundraiser at Illusion Theater in Minneapolis. Their song "Together Wherever We Go," from the musical Gypsy, was an ironic choice - a duet between an obsessed stage mother and her long-suffering, reluctant child. Echoing the song's theme of togetherness, Amy says, "Now that Aubrey is older and more independent, she has to work longer hours, and I'm always with her, just sitting there. I'm trapped there legally."
Together Wherever We Go: Amy and Aubrey, 7, skating hand-in-hand at Disney On Ice, December 2014
Aubrey, age 4, and Amy attend a release party for Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked, March 2012
But for now, Amy, 43, has put her own career on hold to support her daughter. During Aubrey's first year on Modern Family - she joined the show in 2011, when she was only 4 - Amy did continue her stand-up comedy act, but she says that "balancing my job and hers almost killed me. By the end of the Modern Family season, I'd been traveling nonstop while also being a stage mom and a regular mom, and I thought, 'I can't do this. I'm going to die.'" But walking away from it wasn't easy, either. "For almost 18 years, I've worked on my acting career and then put everything on hold, which has been hard. I'm not resentful but I do struggle with it."
Aubrey, 5, with a stuffed animal and her mom at the BAFTA/LA Tea Party, September 2012
Aubrey was still in preschool when her mother took her to the Modern Family audition for Lily. "'You're not going to get it,' I told her over and over," Amy recalls. "'They're going to see lots of little girls, and they are only going to pick one." But she was wrong. Aubrey's animated, energetic personality stood out, and she got the role of Lily with zero acting experience. "It was such a whirlwind, that we just ran with it. She was so little, I had to be there - she couldn't cut her own food or put on her shoes when she started the show."
Aubrey, 5, and Amy at the premiere of Sofia the First: Once Upon a Princess, November 2012
Today, Aubrey gets many of the show's biggest laughs, as her mini-diva Lily continually deflates the egos of her uptight parents Cam and Mitchell, a gay couple who adopted Lily from Vietnam as a baby. For Modern Family's first two seasons, Lily was played by identical twins Ella & Jaden Hiller. Recalling how his daughters got the part, their dad Doug echoes Amy: "We saw an ad on Craigslist looking for identical Asian girl twins, so we sent in a picture and they were cast. It was crazy." But as the twins grew older, it became clear to their parents that they didn't enjoy being on set. "So we told the producers the girls wouldn't be coming back," mom Michelle says, and they didn't waver even when the producers offered them more money and better terms.
Aubrey, 6, clings to Amy's hand as they arrive in Sydney, Australia, February 2014
This just goes to show that acting isn't for every kid. "Every kid is good at something," Amy says, "and for parents, there is no greater story than watching their kid work hard at a project and executing it with joy." Aubrey enjoys acting - for she 2012 Emmy awards (where she was the youngest person on the red carpet) she even did a special short film, portraying herself as a bratty, offscreen monster who terrorized her costars - and when she watches Modern Family at home, "I always fast-forward to my part."
At the premiere afterparty for Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No-Good Very Bad Day at a Dave & Buster's, October 2014
Amy was initially wary of Aubrey getting so much fame at such a young age, but now, she's at peace with it. "I've become very close friends with other sane, nice, grounded stage parents, which has been really helpful. Just like not all child stars end up in rehab, most parents aren't the overbearing stage moms you hear stories about, living vicariously through their child." Mother and daughter recently performed together for a fundraiser at Illusion Theater in Minneapolis. Their song "Together Wherever We Go," from the musical Gypsy, was an ironic choice - a duet between an obsessed stage mother and her long-suffering, reluctant child. Echoing the song's theme of togetherness, Amy says, "Now that Aubrey is older and more independent, she has to work longer hours, and I'm always with her, just sitting there. I'm trapped there legally."
Together Wherever We Go: Amy and Aubrey, 7, skating hand-in-hand at Disney On Ice, December 2014