Stolen
Stolen.
One shot 1,160 Words.
Jaesu.
Angst.
R.
Written for jaesu_challenge with the prompt 'The way you (never) looked at me' and this quote:
{"You know, I used to spend every day thinking about you and dreaming about you. And every time you walked by I lost myself. Do you know what that feels like? You couldn’t possibly know what it feels like to have that person not have the same feelings back. Look, I’m sorry if you miss the way I looked at you, but I don’t miss the way you never looked at me."
- Dawson's Creek}
When there’s a little thing called love in existence, living life to the fullest wasn’t much of an option.
Especially in your case, your life was bounded in such a way where you thought it was completely normal, completely fine, completely love.
People say life is too short.
Time ticking by without a care in the world, every minute of every hour of everyday passing away limiting one’s plans to explore the wonders of what’s ahead of them.
Junsu’s time, Junsu’s plans were stolen, put on hold and yet Junsu let it.
Your life was bounded by him.
Your time was stolen by him.
That man Kim Jaejoong.
You had a warmth within yourself that Jaejoong loved. That no one else could give him, not even his love.
During his lonely nights back in Seoul without his boyfriend , when he felt cold, he would go to you and the you’d just let him. Because you need something, anything to be close to the man you have fallen head over heels for.
On the edge of the rooftop, moonlight illuminating two souls sitting side by side.
Combing through jet black strands belonging to the guy whose head is occupying your shoulder, he feels you heart beating vigorously, faster and faster against his arm but doesn’t know the reason why.
Jaejoong loves to live dangerously sitting a little closer to the edge.
You hated it, the height, the wind blowing your bodies forward ever so slightly, that man next to you, it scares you. No matter how beautiful the night was in front of you, it wasn’t enough to calm the fears. Not even a little.
So why are you here?
That guy was why.
Clumsy stumbling can be heard once in a while in the corridor of your apartment and you know, knocks on your door that you want to ignore but can’t. No matter how much you brain is telling you no, your heart wants the total opposite and more.
You always open the door.
A drunken Jaejoong falls into your arms and smiles at you so innocently.
God you don’t know what you’re doing to me Jae.
He whispers sweet nothings in your ear; his hot breath sends shivers down your spine.
He wraps his hands around your waist and pulls you closer, too close.
He lunges forward and awkwardly his lips are pressed against the side of your mouth.
He follows the outline of your plump lips with his tongue and bites your lower lip as he reaches the centre. He opens his mouth without consent, you taste the stale alcohol. This was so wrong but yet so right.
You hate that this is always the only taste you’ll get to experience from him, bitterness. You don’t even drink for god sake, but when a need becomes a want you endure anything, right Junsu?
Your heart tells you he tastes of candy; your heart tells you he’s sober.
He leads you into your bedroom where he prepares to undress you. Fingering the edge of your leather belt, your breathing halts.
You clasp you hand over his, you can’t do this.
You were so weak when it came to him, but you wouldn’t let it go any further. How could you when he doesn’t even call out your name but that of his lover’s.
He moans in frustration, it only last a few minutes as he eventually falls into a deep sleep.
You lay on his chest, listening to the faint whisper of his heartbeat combine with his soft snoring, a melody you fall asleep to. Arms wrapped around Jaejoong’s torso tightly, yours, just yours for a few hours.
Why do you let him use you like that? Why do you let him in?
This guy was why.
Constantly lingering in your mind, your dreams, your heart, your reality was the name Kim Jaejoong, the distinctive beauty of Kim Jaejoong and the time for Kim Jaejoong.
But living dangerously wasn’t you Junsu, just Jaejoong.
When there was an opportunity the older man would take it with both hands and never let it go.
Two years ago was the perfect opportunity in Japan.
Grabbed, taken.
Fell in love in the process.
You’re nothing more than just a flame, a bright flame that keeps him warm and safe. You’re the light that points him in the right direction. A flame that can extinguish anytime, anywhere by anyone.
Jaejoong’s eyes seek for comfort and comfort only.
Your eyes seek for love. Just love. Can’t you see Jae?.
The older man however never looked long enough into your eyes to see pass the comfort. A little longer and maybe he would have noticed. Lust. Want. Love.
Years Jaejoong had stolen Junsu’s time and Junsu’s heart.
Once something is stolen, how easy is it to retain?
Pondering over the past, it’s not the way to live life. Three whole years he had stolen. No more, you can’t take no more, you can’t hurt no more.
Risking the future (your future) on the past where Jaejoong had obliviously initiated, Kim Junsu you pabo, stupid stupid Junsu.
But it wasn’t Jaejoong’s fault, how was he to know?
Years being there for Jaejoong, maybe it’s time to take a leaf out of his book and live dangerously for once, be there for yourself.
Here you both are again, but tonight you’re both sitting a little closer to the edge.
It’s the normal routine of Jaejoong’s head on your shoulder, heart thumping against his arm.
But not because you’re scared of the height, the wind or of him anymore; you finally take in the scenery and enjoys the beauty of bright lights and peeping skyscrapers through the dark clouds.
Your heart is thumping because you let it for the final time.
Combing through his hair, you tell him of your opportunity in London.
Opportunity, taken, forget (or try to) him in the process.
You sigh, this was it, the process to retain your stolen time and heart back in your possession where it belongs, it starts now.
One last look up on the rooftop where you both had sat fortnightly for the past few years.
Forget the something that was, but not quite. From this point on it will no longer be the both of you up there, the late night drunken stumbling and antics will just be ghostly shadows, faint echoes. Nothing more.
Suitcase in hand, bag over shoulder, you prepare to leave the past behind.
This wasn’t freedom just yet, it was just escape, but it was the only way, the only shot at getting your life back.
Two weeks later.
Jaejoong’s stumbling again, Soju bottle in hand he finds himself back on familiar grounds.
He knocks, No answer.
He knocks again and waits a little longer. Silence.
Holding onto the metal railings, he drags himself up onto the roof.
Sitting on the edge, maybe if he waits...
Moonlight illuminating him, only him, just him.
One shot 1,160 Words.
Jaesu.
Angst.
R.
Written for jaesu_challenge with the prompt 'The way you (never) looked at me' and this quote:
{"You know, I used to spend every day thinking about you and dreaming about you. And every time you walked by I lost myself. Do you know what that feels like? You couldn’t possibly know what it feels like to have that person not have the same feelings back. Look, I’m sorry if you miss the way I looked at you, but I don’t miss the way you never looked at me."
- Dawson's Creek}
When there’s a little thing called love in existence, living life to the fullest wasn’t much of an option.
Especially in your case, your life was bounded in such a way where you thought it was completely normal, completely fine, completely love.
People say life is too short.
Time ticking by without a care in the world, every minute of every hour of everyday passing away limiting one’s plans to explore the wonders of what’s ahead of them.
Junsu’s time, Junsu’s plans were stolen, put on hold and yet Junsu let it.
Your life was bounded by him.
Your time was stolen by him.
That man Kim Jaejoong.
You had a warmth within yourself that Jaejoong loved. That no one else could give him, not even his love.
During his lonely nights back in Seoul without his boyfriend , when he felt cold, he would go to you and the you’d just let him. Because you need something, anything to be close to the man you have fallen head over heels for.
On the edge of the rooftop, moonlight illuminating two souls sitting side by side.
Combing through jet black strands belonging to the guy whose head is occupying your shoulder, he feels you heart beating vigorously, faster and faster against his arm but doesn’t know the reason why.
Jaejoong loves to live dangerously sitting a little closer to the edge.
You hated it, the height, the wind blowing your bodies forward ever so slightly, that man next to you, it scares you. No matter how beautiful the night was in front of you, it wasn’t enough to calm the fears. Not even a little.
So why are you here?
That guy was why.
Clumsy stumbling can be heard once in a while in the corridor of your apartment and you know, knocks on your door that you want to ignore but can’t. No matter how much you brain is telling you no, your heart wants the total opposite and more.
You always open the door.
A drunken Jaejoong falls into your arms and smiles at you so innocently.
God you don’t know what you’re doing to me Jae.
He whispers sweet nothings in your ear; his hot breath sends shivers down your spine.
He wraps his hands around your waist and pulls you closer, too close.
He lunges forward and awkwardly his lips are pressed against the side of your mouth.
He follows the outline of your plump lips with his tongue and bites your lower lip as he reaches the centre. He opens his mouth without consent, you taste the stale alcohol. This was so wrong but yet so right.
You hate that this is always the only taste you’ll get to experience from him, bitterness. You don’t even drink for god sake, but when a need becomes a want you endure anything, right Junsu?
Your heart tells you he tastes of candy; your heart tells you he’s sober.
He leads you into your bedroom where he prepares to undress you. Fingering the edge of your leather belt, your breathing halts.
You clasp you hand over his, you can’t do this.
You were so weak when it came to him, but you wouldn’t let it go any further. How could you when he doesn’t even call out your name but that of his lover’s.
He moans in frustration, it only last a few minutes as he eventually falls into a deep sleep.
You lay on his chest, listening to the faint whisper of his heartbeat combine with his soft snoring, a melody you fall asleep to. Arms wrapped around Jaejoong’s torso tightly, yours, just yours for a few hours.
Why do you let him use you like that? Why do you let him in?
This guy was why.
Constantly lingering in your mind, your dreams, your heart, your reality was the name Kim Jaejoong, the distinctive beauty of Kim Jaejoong and the time for Kim Jaejoong.
But living dangerously wasn’t you Junsu, just Jaejoong.
When there was an opportunity the older man would take it with both hands and never let it go.
Two years ago was the perfect opportunity in Japan.
Grabbed, taken.
Fell in love in the process.
You’re nothing more than just a flame, a bright flame that keeps him warm and safe. You’re the light that points him in the right direction. A flame that can extinguish anytime, anywhere by anyone.
Jaejoong’s eyes seek for comfort and comfort only.
Your eyes seek for love. Just love. Can’t you see Jae?.
The older man however never looked long enough into your eyes to see pass the comfort. A little longer and maybe he would have noticed. Lust. Want. Love.
Years Jaejoong had stolen Junsu’s time and Junsu’s heart.
Once something is stolen, how easy is it to retain?
Pondering over the past, it’s not the way to live life. Three whole years he had stolen. No more, you can’t take no more, you can’t hurt no more.
Risking the future (your future) on the past where Jaejoong had obliviously initiated, Kim Junsu you pabo, stupid stupid Junsu.
But it wasn’t Jaejoong’s fault, how was he to know?
Years being there for Jaejoong, maybe it’s time to take a leaf out of his book and live dangerously for once, be there for yourself.
Here you both are again, but tonight you’re both sitting a little closer to the edge.
It’s the normal routine of Jaejoong’s head on your shoulder, heart thumping against his arm.
But not because you’re scared of the height, the wind or of him anymore; you finally take in the scenery and enjoys the beauty of bright lights and peeping skyscrapers through the dark clouds.
Your heart is thumping because you let it for the final time.
Combing through his hair, you tell him of your opportunity in London.
Opportunity, taken, forget (or try to) him in the process.
You sigh, this was it, the process to retain your stolen time and heart back in your possession where it belongs, it starts now.
One last look up on the rooftop where you both had sat fortnightly for the past few years.
Forget the something that was, but not quite. From this point on it will no longer be the both of you up there, the late night drunken stumbling and antics will just be ghostly shadows, faint echoes. Nothing more.
Suitcase in hand, bag over shoulder, you prepare to leave the past behind.
This wasn’t freedom just yet, it was just escape, but it was the only way, the only shot at getting your life back.
Two weeks later.
Jaejoong’s stumbling again, Soju bottle in hand he finds himself back on familiar grounds.
He knocks, No answer.
He knocks again and waits a little longer. Silence.
Holding onto the metal railings, he drags himself up onto the roof.
Sitting on the edge, maybe if he waits...
Moonlight illuminating him, only him, just him.