Away From His Hand Chapter 6

[forever9218]

Title: Away From His Hand - Chapter 6
Current Mood: peaceful
Current Music: A Change is Gonna Come
Author: forever9218
Pairing: Ennis and Jack
Genre: AU/Canon
Rating: Adult

Word Count: 4041
Disclaimer: Brokeback Mountain is the intellectual property of Ms. Annie Proulx. No money is being made from this work and no copyright infringement is intended. Just trying to paint new horizons for our beloved boys.
Dedication: To everyone here who still believes and is willing to be patient with the slowest writer that ever graced the planet.



Away From His Hand - Chapter 6

“Jack! Get your ass in here, will ya.”

Jack could smell the smoke coming from the kitchen and remembered that he forgot the pot roast that was in the oven. Shit!

By the time he had whipped around the corner, Ennis already had staked out the perfect fortified position against the countertop. His arms were folded in front of his chest, while one leg casually rested on top of the other, the perfect embodiment of the put upon half of a chaotically organized household.  With his face set in the best I’ve-had-enough-of-this scowl, Ennis tried to establish his command of the situation by assuming his most immovable stance. The planned for effect instantly recognizable as the physical embodiment of the one last person on earth who wasn’t about to cave under any kind of clever Jack Twist charm offensive. Unfortunately, based on the innocent expression that was serenely sizing him up right now, Ennis quickly suspected that his piqued demeanor wasn’t having the intended reaction he had hoped. The man looked unbelievably composed and Ennis grew even more irritated when he thought he saw the faint beginnings of an amused smile.

“Whatya grinnin’ at, son?”

Jack sauntered over with each hand pushed half way inside his front jeans pockets, thumbs fully brandished. The exaggerated hip movement meant to distract and disarm. Not just because of the suggestive swagger but because Ennis couldn’t help but appreciate the body that should have been registered as a lethal weapon from the first time he experienced its many virtues as a lad of nineteen.  Jack confidently stopped only when both men were nose to nose and reached out one arm, then the other so that his willing captive was boxed in by an unwavering focused attention. Up this close, there was no avoiding the playful mischief already dancing through cerulean eyes.

Jack frowned, “I ain’t grinnin’.”

“Huh. Well you best not be. Look at that cut of meat. It’s ruined, Jack. Where the hell were you?”

Jack lazily glanced over at the plattered, but charred remains of their dinner and offered what he thought was a reasonable explanation. “I thought you said you liked your beef well done.”

“I also like my meat dead, but I don’t want the deed done in our kitchen.”

Jack scrunched his face and pondered the meaning of the statement. “Is that supposed to make sense?”

“You’re changing the subject, Jack.  I just can’t believe you’ve destroyed four meals just this past month and don’t seem to care. That meat costs money, ya know. Ya could have started a fire and….”

Jack swooped in with a toe curling kiss. The undivided attention directly crumbling already weakened defenses. By the time the two men separated, the seemingly put upon, easy mark seemed noticeably more open to persuasion, if not complete capitulation.

“I’m sorry, Ennis. I was on the phone with Bobby. We were finishing up our plans for him to come spend the summer with us.”

The sourpuss churl Ennis had tried to feebly sustain disappeared in an instant. “Oh, yeah? Well, when’s he flying in? You want me to pick him up at the airport? We still got to do some grocery shoppin’, you know. Boys his age will eat ya out of house and home. I wonder if….”

Jack just stared until Ennis noticed he wasn’t saying a word.

“Whut?”

An eyebrow arch preceded the question, “What about the pot roast?”

“Shit, Jack. All ya care about is your stomach. Bobby’s comin’ and all ya want to do is talk about dinner. I just don’t know about ya sometimes.”

Jack smiled with a combination of pride and complete happiness. His son was coming to visit for the first time since they started their life together in Florida, and Ennis actually seemed more excited than he did. Of course, he knew that really wasn’t possible, but Ennis’ obvious enthusiasm made his heart swell.

“Whoa there, cowboy. We still got two months. It’s only the first week of April.”

Ennis stopped dead in his tracks, the familiar gruff returning to his weathered features, as he started to bite a thumbnail, slightly embarrassed. “Well, it’s never too soon. Want Bobby to have a good time.”

Jack rested his hand on the back of Ennis’ neck and gave the tender area a squeeze. “I love you, you know.”

Velvety brown eyes lit up as a barely there smile appeared. “Of course you do. How else would you ever get a decent meal without me around?”

Jack broke out in laughter. “You got a point there, friend. Would be down to skin and bones, without your nurturing care.”

Only when the twinkle faded from Jack’s eyes did the good-natured mood shift toward something more serious. The voice that had previously been wrapped in saucy jest, took on a fiercer, more compelling tone. A long pause was allowed to take root before he spoke the next prophetic words.

“Truth is…I would miss you so much, I could hardly stand it.”

With those bone crushing words, Ennis remembered back to all the times he had pushed Jack away. The toll that had been taken on both of them because of his unwillingness to even contemplate something different than years of long separations, briefly interrupted by bittersweet reunions in the middle of nowhere. Back then, he was unable to even envision a future together because he lacked the ability to handle what had erupted between them. How to view himself as anything other than a freak of nature who, in the end, needed to do what was right by society and not what his heart wanted most. At first, he thought walking away from all that Brokeback represented would be the manly thing to do. And, even though the vomit that he hurled the day he let Jack drive away, should have let him know that moving on would never stop the need to be with the one person who was his other half, he continued to squander untold years behaving like a startled rabbit burrowed deep within his protective hole.

Those first years apart actually made him hate Jack for tempting him do what he believed to be wrong. Now, with the objective benefit of hindsight, he supposed that the confusing disgust he initially felt was one of the main reasons he was so hell bent to marry Alma that November, to try to raise a family so quickly and to live out his days as a long suffering provider. Penance was required for what they had done on that mountain and even though he hoped his bent desires would wane through enforced deprivation some superior being simply refused to let him be. How ironic to finally open his eyes one day and see that the force of nature he had feared the most was actually not unnatural at all, but a forgiving, benevolent soul. The young man, who had come to him as he stood on the precipice of manhood turned out not to be the devil in disguise, after all, but actually the one angelic presence in his life determined to patiently guide him home again.

____________

He reached out with the flat of his hand in search of the warmth he always seemed to crave. Clumsily, patting all around, Ennis tried to reconnect with his bedded partner before frowning when he gradually came to the unhappy awareness that Jack wasn’t there. Resigned to his forthcoming fate of waking up alone, he yawned in a jaw popping pursuit of oxygen and unconsciously scratched down below; the sought after boost of energy was promptly followed by limbs stretching in recognition that it was time to rise and shine. Sitting up with the kind of corporal opposition that came with age, he grunted at the unwelcomed discomfort crackling through his joints then shook himself to get his bearings. One eye stayed closed in discernable protest when he opened the tent flap wide, aggressively adjusting to the bright mid-morning sun that was now flooding through. A feeling of restlessness immediately surged through him as he tried to remember the dream he had just had. Slowly, some blurry images began to take shape as he flashed upon the memory that he and Jack had been living together in Florida and somehow their dinner had been ruined. Jack seemed happy and he didn’t appear too resistant to the homey situation either.

Shit. Where did that come from? I can’t stop thinkin’ of that man even when I’m sleepin’. Speakin’ of the devil, where the hell is Jack? Most times he’d still be dead to the world. Moanin’ and groanin’ that I was a right bastard tryin’ to stir him into action when he needed more time with the Sandman. Leave it to Jack Twist to use some children’s fairy tale to justify his pansy ass ways. Now, all of a sudden, he’s got a burst of energy when we’ve got nowhere to be and we’re still exhausted from goin’ at each other, for the second time, this mornin’.  “Maybe he’s just gettin’ a piss in ‘cause I sure don’t smell no grub on the fire. Or, maybe he’s gettin’ some more firewood for breakfast. Thanks, Mr. Pretty Good with a Can Opener. Could’ve, at least, started some coffee goin’, you dumbass.”

Reminded that he needed to empty his bladder as well, he decided to brave the mid-morning chill before quickly dressing, in record time, inside the warmer environment of the tent’s close-quartered shelter.  Within ten minutes, the campfire had been set and the coffeepot had been carefully suspended over the flames. Finished with the routine chore, Ennis’ mind was now free to ponder where Jack had gone and why he had not returned yet.

Huh. Thought Jack would be here by now, loaded down with some kindlin’, or a bag of dry needles and bark to get the fire blazin’ as quickly as possible. Where the hell would he go? The 30/30 is still in the tent and he sure as heck isn’t out fishin’. Where would he get off to… unless….

Ennis felt a queasy feeling wash over him. Numbed and panicked from all the horrible images and grim possibilities of what a future alone would mean, already daunted by the outside chance that had just flashed through his brain. Jack would never have gone back to the trailhead without saying something first. Would he? He straightaway ran to the area where they kept the horses over night, hoping he was wrong, but his heart immediately sank once he noticed the buckskin was nowhere in sight. He spit on the ground and kicked at the dirt in frustrated rage.

Fuck! I can’t believe he just up and left. Thought we was gonna…Okay, think for a second. Jack wouldn’t just leave without telling ya. See if there’s a note somewhere in that tent.

Scrambling back to the camp he kicked over the lantern they had placed outside the entrance the night before and noticed what he dreaded to find. Jack had clipped a note to the metal handle, figuring Ennis would see it when he got up.  The first words provided some relief until he remembered the time that had already elapsed, which caused the worry to resurface.

Mornin’ Cowboy

Felt so good, went for a ride.  Don’t worry.  Be back in an hour.  9:00 at the latest.  Breakfast should be ready by then, don’t you think?

Ennis wanted to chuckle at Jack’s trademark lazy ass ways, but the knowledge that it was already 10:30 a.m. changed his mind. He was just about to saddle up to initiate his own one man search party, when he heard the slow trotting sounds of a horse coming toward the camp. Turning around with purpose, he saw Jack riding toward him, a welcomed vision that drew a craggy breath from somewhere deep inside.

More worried than angry, Ennis tried to mask his concern as he waited with a controlled exasperation as Jack carefully pulled back on the reins and the buckskin stopped a few feet away.

“Where the hell you been. Here I’m tryin’ to get breakfast together and ya go off on a sight-seeing tour?”

But, the manufactured pretense was cut short once Ennis took in the dried blood covering the right side of Jack’s face and the pale look gazing back at him.

“What the hell, Jack?”

Ennis’s abrupt two step stride brought him as close as he could get. While his piercing, unsettled eyes were quick to notice that Jack was cradling something underneath his coat.

“What ya got, there? You alright?”

“Mhm, felt better. Little dizzy, I guess. Could you help me down?”

Ennis grabbed hold of Jack’s waist, which allowed the injured man to awkwardly slide off the left side of the mare, and was surprised when a furry headed creature peaked through the top of the half buttoned jacket, and started to make a whimpering sound.

“You come upon a wolf den, Jack?”

Ennis could see the pointed ears of a blue-eyed pup, gray with black tipping. Maybe 3-4 weeks old.

“Shit, he’s not even weaned from his momma yet.”

“I’ll take care of him, Ennis. He was all by himself. Howlin’ at the top of his lungs. Poor little guy’s probably starvin’. No other member of the pack in sight. Maybe a bear got ‘em”

Ennis smiled. “Of course, you can keep him, Jack. Just sayin that he’s awfully young. Sit down over there against that log. You don’t look so good yourself. You hurt bad, bud?”

“Got any whiskey?”

Ennis retrieved the bottle from the knapsack they kept in the tent and let a now sitting Jack take a couple of swigs before tucking it away. Swiftly dunking a handkerchief into the boiling water he had started for breakfast, Ennis began to tentatively dab the sterilized cloth over the wound. He could already see how no one was going to separate that pup from his new momma.

“He’s a real beauty, don’t you think, Ennis? Really, sweet too. He let me pick ‘im’up right away and started suckin’ on my thumb. I gave ‘im some water, but he’s real hungry. Think I heard his stomach growlin’.”

Jack looked up at Ennis with a helpless plea in his eyes, silently begging Ennis to fix the situation. Not sure what to do next.

Ennis grinned while trying to get Jack to calm down, “You sure that wasn’t your stomach throwin’ a fit, bud?”

Jack glanced down at his charge and offered a simple solution, his voice laced with a bit of sadness, “You can give ‘im whatever you were goin’ to make for me, Ennis. I don’t mind.”

The selfless offering instantly tugged at Ennis’ heart and actually ripped through his gut. There was no doubt this was the part of Jack that he always found the hardest to resist. The man who was generous to a fault, imbued with boundless passion, deeply caring and gentle, with an unreckonable ability to love. Even when that infinite devotion and forgiving nature was inexplicably directed toward some old grumpy, going nowhere, ranch hand.

“No need to give ‘im your food. We’ve got plenty,” Ennis said with a no nonsense authority.  Immediately, springing into action, he resumed his meal preparations and tried to pull more details out of Jack. “Now, while I wrestle up sumthin’ to eat for the three of us,” Jack smiled at the added inclusion of his new friend, “tell me what happened to ya.”

“Well, I was enjoyin’ my ride, doin’ some thinkin’…‘bout us,” Jack waited for any sign of resistance before he forged ahead, “and I heard this whimpering sound. Really, high pitched and desperate. Could see the cryin’ was comin’ from someplace below from where I was headed so I tried to slide down the embankment and see what was goin’ on. Damn boot slipped on a boulder and I came tumblin’ down a bit faster than I expected. Suppose I hit my head on sumthin’ along the way.”

“Good thing you didn’t have that harmonica with ya.”

Jack chuckled and then let out a groan. “Stop that you asshole. Shit, just my luck. Ennis Del Mar finally makes one joke in this century and I’m too incapacitated to enjoy it.”

A concerned response left no room for argument. “You go lie down with your new bed roll buddy. I’ll bring ya the food when it’s ready. Let me help ya get set up in there.”

“That sounds real good. Could I have a couple of aspirin too?”

“You bet.”

_____________________

Hours later, Ennis was sitting outside the tent enjoying a smoke and a swallow or two of whiskey when he was joined by a much healthier looking Jack.

“Hey, bud. You look much better. Was gettin’ a little worried that ya wasn’t wakin’ up.”

“Just a dull headache. Bit woozy. Think your nursin’ skills pretty much set me on the road to recovery though.” Jack beamed with appreciation and slowly lowered his body so he was sitting only a few feet over. Both men now face to face.

Never comfortable with Jack’s flattering ways, the unfussy compliment prodded Ennis to awkwardly look away before he turned back around to ask, “How’s the pup?”

“He’s real contented. Sleepin’ that great meal off in his makeshift bed. Havin’ him use my jacket was a great idea. He noddin’ right off.”

“Yeah, they have an amazin’ sense of smell. Pups can’t see or hear at birth, but the knack to sniff and trace develops pretty early. Think he already associates your scent with his wellbeing and ability to survive. Looks like the little critter is a good judge of character.” Jack smiled while Ennis continued his experienced assessment.

“Could be a bit on the wild side as he gets older, a little hard to handle given his age when ya rescued ‘im. But, you’re just the guy to gentle that inbred nature. Patience and love can do that.”

Jack thought he was teasing, but when he took stock of his man’s measured demeanor, he could see that Ennis was wearing a deadly serious expression.

“Uhm thanks, friend.”

A comfortable silence descended upon them as they simply relaxed and enjoyed being together. At ease and satisfied, both men kicked back as they shared a smoke, with a couple of mid-afternoon chasers, and silently pondered the oddities of the world. To Ennis’ way of thinking, the time seemed right for a little conversation too.

“Guess we’re gettin’ better at this talkin’ thing, huh? ‘Course you was always pretty good at it. But, I figure it’s not just ‘bout the talkin’. It’s about the listenin’ too.”

Jack grinned, while shaking his head in agreement, looking at Ennis with conviction. “You mean like your Heckel and Jeckel analogy?”

Ennis raised both eyebrows. Shocked that Jack had remembered how he had brought the topic up the night before. He cleared his throat and forged straight ahead.

“Don’t know if this makes much sense. But, maybe we’re gettin’ along better on this trip ‘cause I seem to be tryin’ to talk more and you haven’t been interruptin’ so much.”

“Yeah? Think you may be onto sumthin’, friend. Could be I got so tired of your rejection that I stopped payin’ attention to what you had to say.” Jack blew out a ragged breath. “And, if I’m not payin’ attention, why would you want to talk? I mean it’s not ‘xactly your favorite thing to do anyway.” Jack smiled to soften the remark. While an audible groaned punctuated the next tentative observation, “How can we work anything out, if we stop tryin’?”

Ennis decided not to censor himself. To his way of thinking, some truth telling was long past due when it came to their relationship. “Figure bitchin’ ain’t tryin’, Jack. It’s just bitchin’.”

Jack heaved another weighty sigh and tossed his head back to gaze up at the cloudless sky, still a little dizzy from his fall. After a sustained, meditative silence he looked back at the man who never left his heart. No anger. More like something akin to regret. “I’m sorry, Ennis.”

“Me too, Jack. This ain’t a one way street, ya know. I stopped listenin’ to what you had to say  long ago. What else could you do but bitch? Brought up Heckel and Jeckel last night ‘cause I ‘member watchin’ that cartoon with the girls and thinkin’ ‘bout us.”

“Yeah?”

Ennis struggled to gather his thoughts. “Ya know how ya always call me, “Friend”? Well 'ccordin’ to Jenny, this Heckel character, he’s the magpie with the Brooklyn accent,” Ennis looked over and noticed that Jack was listening intently.  “Don’t know how she knew that’s what language he was speakin’, but maybe they learn that kind of stuff in school. Anyway, he was a tough old bird. A real scrapper. He’d used terms like “chum” and “pal” when he talked to the other one.  Now, there was another bird, looked just like him, had this British accent. Kinda remindin’ me of you.”

Jack’s eyes crinkled with amusement. “Well, this Jeckle magpie, he would call the other one, “old featherhead” or “old boy”. You’d think they didn’t get along. Until one day I realized it really didn’t matter. ‘Cause these old birds were friends. Stuck together against everyone else. The same but different, ya know? One was more glum. Suspicious like. While the other one was thinkin’ there was all kinds of possibilities…more hopeful. Reckon the point is even though they argued, when it came to relatin’, they was on the same side when it counted.”

Ennis paused to make sure what he said next adequately summed up his emerging feelings. “I’m thinkin’ maybe we could learn sumthin’ from those fellas. Stop pullin’ in two different directions. Be on the same side for a change. Reckon maybe we could be stronger, if we were less prickly with one another. Stop feudin’ all the time.” Ennis paused, the pained look on his face reflecting the struggle he was waging for that one last thought that would sum up what was building up inside of him. “For two friends, we seem pretty damn sore with each other most times. I’m thinkin’ maybe we need to figure some things out. Together. And, maybe that sumthin’ we figure out should include more than just one or two fishin’ trips a year.”

Jack’s unbroken gaze was encouraging, but he didn’t say a word. Despite the quiet, Ennis could tell something was brewing beneath the surface as he watched the early traces of a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“Whut?” Ennis mumbled, slightly perplexed.

When no response was forthcoming, it suddenly dawned on Ennis what Jack might be thinking, rolling his eyes with a chuckle. “Very funny, Jack. You were about to say, ‘That’s the most I’ve spoken since that first summer on Brokeback, weren’t you?”

Jack shook his head in subdued dispute, mouth slightly open while his eyes danced with some kind of flirtatious mischief.

“Alright, then what were you about to say?”

Jack ran his tongue over his lower lip before he belted out a gregarious comeback. “Yee-haw! You’re sure a sweet talker, handsome. Take me, I’m yours!”

Ennis scrunched up his eyes and thought for a moment, pausing for full effect. “Huh. If I remember right, that’s what you were trying to say that first night in the tent.”

Now, Jack was laughing full out. “You bastard! My backside still hurts from that poundin’ you gave me fifteen years ago, ya know.”

Ennis shrugged his shoulders. “Guess I leave a good first impression, bud.”

Jack giggled and scooched over next to Ennis, playfully nudging him with his left shoulder.

Ennis welcomed the warmth and shifted his body. Without a break in motion, he kissed his man fully on the mouth.

“Friends?”

“Mmmm. Better.”

Ennis seemed a little confused, disappointed that Jack may not have understood the message he had been trying to convey.

“Better, huh? What’s better than being friends?”

Jack’s smile shimmered with a renewed vibrancy. “Tryin' to be allies, you dumbass." A wink ensued, followed my a knowing nod of the head.

"I swear, Ennis. Haven't ya been listenin'?”

Tbc