Past the scary
In July Bill had a colonoscopy because the fecal test indicated that this should happen. All throughout our life we have always believed that there wasn't any cancer in Bill's family... Well 7 polyps and a mass later we learned that this was NOT the case. Bill responsibility was to let his sisters know... however shocking and angry making Andi already knew, just never considered that she should inform Bill that their mother, father, and she herself all had polyps removed. Why the hell wouldn't any of them tell him? Laurel didn't have any polyps and knew of her father's but not of my MIL or her sisters... Lets just say that the month we waited for Bill to have surgery I was fuming. My history is 50% invisible because of not knowing my father so I get tested for everything asap.
In the month prior Bill had bloodwork and a CT scan that were both positive that there didn't appear to be any spread. The biopsy was for precancerous cells. The mass had to be removed and the bowel resection.
Fear... Life without Bill is just that four letter word. I'm so damn Irish fatalistic that I should be clubbed as a seal for my over thinking and assuming only bad fortune. Keeping it to myself was trying. I did let my chosen family know, Stuart,Andrea, Nancy, John, Carly, Diane. Bill didn't want it out there because no one needs to hear the horror stories of anecdotal associations. Earlier this year Nancy and John had to deal with John having a brain tumor. That too has turned out to be a safe close call. Did find out months later that Stuarts sister Karen had passed away. She had been a ward of Illinois for most of her adult life and was living in an adult facility I believe. To now be firmly entrenched in the duck shooting game of who next do I know that is deceased. Nancy filled me in and I called Stuart who wasn't particularly broken up when I offered condolences. During this waiting time John's father passed away. I got out condolence cards to his brother and mother because there wasn't going to be a funeral. I also let slip to Bill's cousin Steve about the impending surgery as I assumed he already knew. So that brought his sister Arlynne and their parents into the inner circle. Turns out that they too have polyps... There is a tension that built up higher and we just became so much softer with each other. Angela came over to help me clean the downstairs as I anticipated the Outlaw visit. Andi pissed me off by texting Bill "Have Bridget let us know..." I can count on a single hand the number of phone calls I have had from Andi in 37 years. Sarah K. came out and sat with me throughout the surgery. She has been here to catch all of my family detritus. She printed up a pattern of a colon/bowel to do counted cross stitch. Hand work. We however are quilters so it was going no where fast. We did also walk the entire building judging the quality of the art pieces as well as critiquing the hospital design. Just before surgery I was allowed to visit as he was going through pre-op. I asked the anesthesia techs if they were hung over. They said that would be on Monday because this was only Thursday. 3 hours later I was called back to the waiting room to speak with the surgeon. The 5 minutes aged me about 40 years... FEAR... she appeared and her body language brought me back from my terror ride. First off the gastroenterologist stated the mass was on the left when in fact it was on the right, this cost Bill far more loss of bowel tissue. However she was skilled enough that this remained a laproscopic procedure, as a full open surgery would have meant 3 months off of work, Bill was only allowing himself 2 weeks to get back to work. She said that mass was definitely turning to cancer as it was puckering with tendrils but it had not broken through!!!! Springs laden with razors flew from my entire body... Today I am not a widow... I then dragged the surgeon back out to meet Sarah to show her the bowel we were miserably attempting in cross stitch. Turns out that she is from 4 generations of quilters but does cross stitch. She also goes to the Road to CA quilt show every chance she can! Had I advance knowledge of this I would have been so greatly relieved. She later brought me a picture of a counted cross stitch she did during her residency >64,000 stitches and 126 different colored threads. AMAZING artistry that means she has tremendous skill with tiny details. Such great fortune. There was more mucking about during his 3 days post surgery but I'm not interested in reporting them here. He is alive and well at home, he was back to work in 18 days just like my horse shoer who had the same surgery earlier this summer.
Other things I need to post about, beagles getting broken surgery. My buying myself an amazing 6yo TB gelding now named Sazerac. How SunnyMead is doing w the Padawan. How Dovey is coming along in training. Stresses, bridal showers, etc...