Impossible but still I need to get this out there.
Dear 12 Year Old Me,
First I'm so glad that science has accomplished the ability to meddle in our own pasts.
Second right now you don't have enough life experience to get comfort from knowing things are going to get so much better, you just have my/our word on this. There are issues with young teens being cruel in order to fit into their social ranks, once again they don't have prior experience to comprehend the damage that they wrought. (I won't tell you that there are some of those who truly are such sick assholes that they thrive on this throughout life)
You shall get so many experiences by not committing suicide, obviously just by the fact that you choose your life and that is the bonus round. As herd animals we are and we have evolved a need to be part of the herd that pains us emotionally and we get physical responses to this as well. You aren't crazy, worthless, or sans value, those are panic fears of being cut out of the herd. Get this there are LOTS of herds where you FIT IN. There isn't just one herd. Right now you want to fit in but know just like you are outgrowing the length of your pants that putting on and accepting the wrong herd you will grow and shed these people.
Third, at age 51 you will not be having a birthday party, you will be sharing it with your husband having a day adventure. You will be IMPORTANT to him. He takes your birthday off of work just to be with you! That's right not just a boyfriend but a spouse of DECADES is in your future. Squeal NOW, yes he really is cute and a hunk and brilliant! SERIOUSLY! He gets you, he understands and nurtures you, he allows you your freedom and is always the safe place to return. You are also going to get over 80 personal messages wishing you a happy birthday from people you really like and love! They want to be part of your happiness! You have many best friends, you are a good friend to many too! Yeah I know "finally" you aren't overlooked. Oh and sports never matter much directly in your life.
Oh and you are someday going to be able to cry! You stopped crying for physical issues, those will be solved by a surgery that opens up your sinuses, and you won't be in pain and getting crazy sick with pneumonia won't happen just because your body needs to let out the pressure. Crying is going to be ok. You don't have to be tough and deny yourself. (I didn't cry for about 15 years because it would lead to first a sinus infection, followed by a chest cold, next development would be pneumonia)
Now for some crazy great news, you will have MANY adventures. You will touch cheetahs, lions, tigers, bears, dolphins, manatee, skunk, raccoon, geez so many creatures that I can't even share them all. You will have many horses in your life!!!! You will have many friends, really solid beautiful talented sharing friends! You will be known for your many acquired talents and interests as well. Your life is so going to ROCK! I won't tell you when or where, ok you won't ever have to shovel snow again, but you will be happy. I won't give you any advice just hope and knowledge this will all become TRUE for YOU!
Happy Birthday to me.
First I'm so glad that science has accomplished the ability to meddle in our own pasts.
Second right now you don't have enough life experience to get comfort from knowing things are going to get so much better, you just have my/our word on this. There are issues with young teens being cruel in order to fit into their social ranks, once again they don't have prior experience to comprehend the damage that they wrought. (I won't tell you that there are some of those who truly are such sick assholes that they thrive on this throughout life)
You shall get so many experiences by not committing suicide, obviously just by the fact that you choose your life and that is the bonus round. As herd animals we are and we have evolved a need to be part of the herd that pains us emotionally and we get physical responses to this as well. You aren't crazy, worthless, or sans value, those are panic fears of being cut out of the herd. Get this there are LOTS of herds where you FIT IN. There isn't just one herd. Right now you want to fit in but know just like you are outgrowing the length of your pants that putting on and accepting the wrong herd you will grow and shed these people.
Third, at age 51 you will not be having a birthday party, you will be sharing it with your husband having a day adventure. You will be IMPORTANT to him. He takes your birthday off of work just to be with you! That's right not just a boyfriend but a spouse of DECADES is in your future. Squeal NOW, yes he really is cute and a hunk and brilliant! SERIOUSLY! He gets you, he understands and nurtures you, he allows you your freedom and is always the safe place to return. You are also going to get over 80 personal messages wishing you a happy birthday from people you really like and love! They want to be part of your happiness! You have many best friends, you are a good friend to many too! Yeah I know "finally" you aren't overlooked. Oh and sports never matter much directly in your life.
Oh and you are someday going to be able to cry! You stopped crying for physical issues, those will be solved by a surgery that opens up your sinuses, and you won't be in pain and getting crazy sick with pneumonia won't happen just because your body needs to let out the pressure. Crying is going to be ok. You don't have to be tough and deny yourself. (I didn't cry for about 15 years because it would lead to first a sinus infection, followed by a chest cold, next development would be pneumonia)
Now for some crazy great news, you will have MANY adventures. You will touch cheetahs, lions, tigers, bears, dolphins, manatee, skunk, raccoon, geez so many creatures that I can't even share them all. You will have many horses in your life!!!! You will have many friends, really solid beautiful talented sharing friends! You will be known for your many acquired talents and interests as well. Your life is so going to ROCK! I won't tell you when or where, ok you won't ever have to shovel snow again, but you will be happy. I won't give you any advice just hope and knowledge this will all become TRUE for YOU!
Happy Birthday to me.