Thoughts...
In the last few weeks something has compelled me to think more about death. In thinking about death we come to illuminations about life. At the end of the day my beliefs are as follows (At this point)
- I am agnostic. I don't know what I beleive in but I do believe that humans have alot less control than they think. I also do not beleive in a god as such but beleive nature and external forces (be it science, evolution, fate, destiny, etc) hold more control than any god could.
- I also subsequently believe that the most useless way to spend a life is to spend it trying to decide what you beleive in or encouraging one belief system or another. Life is short, and being human is beautiful, and we dont get a second chance. Worrying about what happens when you die is the worst way to be alive.
- For a long time I have feared the death of my loved ones. If Ryan were to die, as much as it would decimate every inch of me, I know I am equipped with the strength of memories and love to power on, I know the day after ryan dies I will have the power to get out of bed and make breakfast. It is just who I am. However I cannot picture ryan being able to do the same if I were to die. I don't care how much pain I would have to go through, seeing ryan in pain hurts me more. I feel as though after life we are able to look down on the ones we love (which says alot about spirit contact).
- However. Recently I have come to realise why I yearn for a child. If I were to die, I would be happy just knowing that there is another human in the world that is 50% of who I am. Although I am 50% the product of each of my parents, no one exists in this world who has any part of me with them, and a child would be that legacy. I would be comforted if I died to know that a part of me lives on, a part of me that I would have nurtured from the moment of conception.
- On this note however, I also beleive that giving birth is not our only calling in life. It is natures design that some people are not given the tools needed to conceive naturally. If I were to be one of these people, although I would yearn for a child of my own, and the pain would be unknowable, I also acknowledge that a child is not the only thing that two humans can give birth to. There would be bigger ideas or plans or goals for me if it were not my destiny to be a mother. I would mother other things. Provide support to those whose mother cannot. I would not try to force something that does not occur naturally. Everything happens for a reason and this would still be the case.
Im sure these ideas will change though. :)
- I am agnostic. I don't know what I beleive in but I do believe that humans have alot less control than they think. I also do not beleive in a god as such but beleive nature and external forces (be it science, evolution, fate, destiny, etc) hold more control than any god could.
- I also subsequently believe that the most useless way to spend a life is to spend it trying to decide what you beleive in or encouraging one belief system or another. Life is short, and being human is beautiful, and we dont get a second chance. Worrying about what happens when you die is the worst way to be alive.
- For a long time I have feared the death of my loved ones. If Ryan were to die, as much as it would decimate every inch of me, I know I am equipped with the strength of memories and love to power on, I know the day after ryan dies I will have the power to get out of bed and make breakfast. It is just who I am. However I cannot picture ryan being able to do the same if I were to die. I don't care how much pain I would have to go through, seeing ryan in pain hurts me more. I feel as though after life we are able to look down on the ones we love (which says alot about spirit contact).
- However. Recently I have come to realise why I yearn for a child. If I were to die, I would be happy just knowing that there is another human in the world that is 50% of who I am. Although I am 50% the product of each of my parents, no one exists in this world who has any part of me with them, and a child would be that legacy. I would be comforted if I died to know that a part of me lives on, a part of me that I would have nurtured from the moment of conception.
- On this note however, I also beleive that giving birth is not our only calling in life. It is natures design that some people are not given the tools needed to conceive naturally. If I were to be one of these people, although I would yearn for a child of my own, and the pain would be unknowable, I also acknowledge that a child is not the only thing that two humans can give birth to. There would be bigger ideas or plans or goals for me if it were not my destiny to be a mother. I would mother other things. Provide support to those whose mother cannot. I would not try to force something that does not occur naturally. Everything happens for a reason and this would still be the case.
Im sure these ideas will change though. :)