(no subject)
Notes: Inspired greatly by the song I believe all of you know quite well. Parts of this fic had been sitting in my Moleskine ever since the final days of school, until a week ago when I felt that I should finish it. Could finish it, that might be a better word. Probably makes more sense if you listen to the song while or before reading.
Title: Signal Fire.
Author: forensicirulan
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Helen/John
Word count: 1217
Summary: "In the confusion and the aftermath, you are my signal fire. The only resolution and the only joy is the faint spark of forgiveness in your eyes."
Disclaimer: They aren't mine. Not making any money with this. Et cetera.
Huge thanks for the beta-ing to
kiki_fan187 and to charmingnotion for putting the song into her Helen/John fanmix.
‘I promise to make you happy for all eternity’ he said. She shut her eyes to his sonorous promise then and parted her mouth, an open invitation to share their joy and let words of longing be heard between their lips. She didn't think she could be happier, but not much later she happened to find out that she was expecting their child.
That winter, their winter was the winter of dreams, desire, promises, rewards, never expected bloodshed and shattered hopes.
She could never again believe men with mellow voices and flat palms.
She didn't think she'd ever be happy again.
~
The chilling weather of this winter reaches her bones and sends pain through her whole body as she’s standing at the edge of a cliff, her small black dress swaying around her knees, the raven queen who brought the destructor of this world to life. Her freckled shoulders are as red as her bloodshot eyes and her fingers dig into her arms hard until they draw crimson liquid from underneath her skin and leave marks beneath her nails. The wind keeps getting more fervent and she feels like it blows away dark pieces of her soul every time it catches under her dress, under her obsidian hair and laces its fingers with the happiness she’s hidden deep beneath, leading it away some place she can’t follow.
Two hands are not enough to stitch a hundred wounds and steal back your happiness.
A bite on her lip, wishing it to be over soon. She never planned to see this. In fact, she never planned to see most of the things she’d seen, but this happens to be something she particularly wished she wouldn’t witness. Death, killing, blood, ravaged bodies and souls, unfixable pain and more death. The end of the world, the last thing to see before she closes her eyes to her Forever, knowing it was brought by her own blood, destroying what was left of her mother’s heart. An almost angry smile curls up her lips as she thinks ‘It’s in her nature to seek ways to destroy me’. Strange how she becomes overly sarcastic when facing the worst.
She hears a familiar noise behind her, a flash of light, followed by a warm hand covering her shoulder.
She doesn’t dare look that way and show the blood shed in the lines of her features, there is no need to state what they both know. Instead, she welcomes the warm and soft palm with a sad smile into the distance, observing the enormous waves and the ominous phenomenon approaching rapidly from the skies. ‘That will be the death of us’, her mind states, and she waits on for the end silently.
As the rage of thunderbolts and bale draws nearer and more of the furious waves slap through the cliff to end up on their bodies, the hand on her shoulder travels through her back and reaches her waist to draw her closer ever so slightly.
Putting her pride apart she looks up at him, lips are quivering from cold, anger and sorrow. Her eyes meet the same fear and rage and mourning in his, and she almost feels relieved. She knows everything in his eyes: the myths, the pain and the flames it held and she remembers everything he said with them: his happiness, his love, his torment and his hatred. Her eyes travel his face like a map, stopping at junctions and wrinkles, smiling at his small ears and big jaw. His eyes search the endlessness of hers, hoping to find a small kiss of absolution, but he get lost somewhere between the crossroads of her howling pride and starving heart.
She beams at his confusion and turns into his arms, blinking at the fire in her eyes. The top of her fingers run through the side of his and she swallows in uncertainty, his warm touch is a blaze against her cold and pale skin and her hand trembles in surprise. She relishes the feeling; she almost forgot how much joy is brought by the simple state of surprise and brings up her other hand to rest on his side.
They gaze at the dance of their fingers, thinking, wondering and testing until the growing waves and enormous thunder of lightning wake them. She winces in fright, drawing her hand from his and grabs at his shirt as the thunder hits the edge of the cliff and her eyes widen as the rock crumbles to dust. His hands immediately bring her closer to him, closer than close and guides her under his coat to protect her from the tempest, creating a shell to hide under. She buries her head in his chest, breathing him in, his scent just as mesmerizing as it was a century ago and it fills her lungs and pours through her wounds. Her hands curl around his torso until they’re both holding the other in a close embrace, the raven hair flowing over his arms and his suit. His lips wander her hair and her forehead, leaving the smallest of kisses and his eyes fill with tears of regret and grief, regret of what has, and grief of what hasn’t happened. He stills his movements and rests his quivering lips on her forehead as warm pearls trace his cheeks and fall from his clenched jaw onto his shirt and her hands. Her eyes follow the tears to their firth, slowly lifting her head to take a look at him.
His features tell of all the hopeless pain and mayhem and lament and she brings her hands to his chin to turn his face towards hers. He stares into her eyes as she brushes the tears with her thumbs, and he can’t help but breathe into her palm.
‘Helen…’ he sighs, she bites her own sad smile away. 'Helen, I've always, always...' A whisper and her thumb brushes over his lips, hushing him.
His browns search her blues for traces of rage or bitterness, but the infinite depth of her eyes is graceful and accepting and strips him bare of fear and sadness.
'....always loved you.' He leans into her palm, and she feels a rush of ecstatic thrill and solace wash over her. She lets out a soft laugh and swallows the relieved tears that are slowly marching under her eye. A nod, another chuckle.
'And I you, John.' A flat palm travels from her side to her face and brings her cold lips to warms them with his, the other threads through her hair and holds her body to his; a soft but steady assault of lips, gentle caresses on her back.
Pulling away, they are both smiling fully. Nothing matters.
They know what's to come.
~
For all eternity transforms into the end of Her Eternity, but that doesn't matter either. She is smiling again, one last time before the thunder turns them into cinder and their ashes are washed away by the waves.
He made her happy.
One last time.
Title: Signal Fire.
Author: forensicirulan
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Helen/John
Word count: 1217
Summary: "In the confusion and the aftermath, you are my signal fire. The only resolution and the only joy is the faint spark of forgiveness in your eyes."
Disclaimer: They aren't mine. Not making any money with this. Et cetera.
Huge thanks for the beta-ing to
kiki_fan187 and to charmingnotion for putting the song into her Helen/John fanmix.
‘I promise to make you happy for all eternity’ he said. She shut her eyes to his sonorous promise then and parted her mouth, an open invitation to share their joy and let words of longing be heard between their lips. She didn't think she could be happier, but not much later she happened to find out that she was expecting their child.
That winter, their winter was the winter of dreams, desire, promises, rewards, never expected bloodshed and shattered hopes.
She could never again believe men with mellow voices and flat palms.
She didn't think she'd ever be happy again.
~
The chilling weather of this winter reaches her bones and sends pain through her whole body as she’s standing at the edge of a cliff, her small black dress swaying around her knees, the raven queen who brought the destructor of this world to life. Her freckled shoulders are as red as her bloodshot eyes and her fingers dig into her arms hard until they draw crimson liquid from underneath her skin and leave marks beneath her nails. The wind keeps getting more fervent and she feels like it blows away dark pieces of her soul every time it catches under her dress, under her obsidian hair and laces its fingers with the happiness she’s hidden deep beneath, leading it away some place she can’t follow.
Two hands are not enough to stitch a hundred wounds and steal back your happiness.
A bite on her lip, wishing it to be over soon. She never planned to see this. In fact, she never planned to see most of the things she’d seen, but this happens to be something she particularly wished she wouldn’t witness. Death, killing, blood, ravaged bodies and souls, unfixable pain and more death. The end of the world, the last thing to see before she closes her eyes to her Forever, knowing it was brought by her own blood, destroying what was left of her mother’s heart. An almost angry smile curls up her lips as she thinks ‘It’s in her nature to seek ways to destroy me’. Strange how she becomes overly sarcastic when facing the worst.
She hears a familiar noise behind her, a flash of light, followed by a warm hand covering her shoulder.
She doesn’t dare look that way and show the blood shed in the lines of her features, there is no need to state what they both know. Instead, she welcomes the warm and soft palm with a sad smile into the distance, observing the enormous waves and the ominous phenomenon approaching rapidly from the skies. ‘That will be the death of us’, her mind states, and she waits on for the end silently.
As the rage of thunderbolts and bale draws nearer and more of the furious waves slap through the cliff to end up on their bodies, the hand on her shoulder travels through her back and reaches her waist to draw her closer ever so slightly.
Putting her pride apart she looks up at him, lips are quivering from cold, anger and sorrow. Her eyes meet the same fear and rage and mourning in his, and she almost feels relieved. She knows everything in his eyes: the myths, the pain and the flames it held and she remembers everything he said with them: his happiness, his love, his torment and his hatred. Her eyes travel his face like a map, stopping at junctions and wrinkles, smiling at his small ears and big jaw. His eyes search the endlessness of hers, hoping to find a small kiss of absolution, but he get lost somewhere between the crossroads of her howling pride and starving heart.
She beams at his confusion and turns into his arms, blinking at the fire in her eyes. The top of her fingers run through the side of his and she swallows in uncertainty, his warm touch is a blaze against her cold and pale skin and her hand trembles in surprise. She relishes the feeling; she almost forgot how much joy is brought by the simple state of surprise and brings up her other hand to rest on his side.
They gaze at the dance of their fingers, thinking, wondering and testing until the growing waves and enormous thunder of lightning wake them. She winces in fright, drawing her hand from his and grabs at his shirt as the thunder hits the edge of the cliff and her eyes widen as the rock crumbles to dust. His hands immediately bring her closer to him, closer than close and guides her under his coat to protect her from the tempest, creating a shell to hide under. She buries her head in his chest, breathing him in, his scent just as mesmerizing as it was a century ago and it fills her lungs and pours through her wounds. Her hands curl around his torso until they’re both holding the other in a close embrace, the raven hair flowing over his arms and his suit. His lips wander her hair and her forehead, leaving the smallest of kisses and his eyes fill with tears of regret and grief, regret of what has, and grief of what hasn’t happened. He stills his movements and rests his quivering lips on her forehead as warm pearls trace his cheeks and fall from his clenched jaw onto his shirt and her hands. Her eyes follow the tears to their firth, slowly lifting her head to take a look at him.
His features tell of all the hopeless pain and mayhem and lament and she brings her hands to his chin to turn his face towards hers. He stares into her eyes as she brushes the tears with her thumbs, and he can’t help but breathe into her palm.
‘Helen…’ he sighs, she bites her own sad smile away. 'Helen, I've always, always...' A whisper and her thumb brushes over his lips, hushing him.
His browns search her blues for traces of rage or bitterness, but the infinite depth of her eyes is graceful and accepting and strips him bare of fear and sadness.
'....always loved you.' He leans into her palm, and she feels a rush of ecstatic thrill and solace wash over her. She lets out a soft laugh and swallows the relieved tears that are slowly marching under her eye. A nod, another chuckle.
'And I you, John.' A flat palm travels from her side to her face and brings her cold lips to warms them with his, the other threads through her hair and holds her body to his; a soft but steady assault of lips, gentle caresses on her back.
Pulling away, they are both smiling fully. Nothing matters.
They know what's to come.
~
For all eternity transforms into the end of Her Eternity, but that doesn't matter either. She is smiling again, one last time before the thunder turns them into cinder and their ashes are washed away by the waves.
He made her happy.
One last time.