let me tell you about when it gets serious
I started to worry that I wasn't as in love with him as I thought I was after we talked so liberally about spending the rest of our lives together. I got scared that I made myself believe I cared about him more than I really did.
What if all this time, I'd been in love with the idea of him instead of the actual person he is? What if I felt the way about him that so many had felt about me? What if he wasn't- isn't- the one?
After a day or two apart, I saw him for a short time, after our talk, and felt the little electricity in my spine I've felt so many times before with him. Watching him walk towards me, time slows, and it seems like I can't breathe until I can touch him. And I see him smile and I hear him laugh and talk and I realize how much I love him. And it's real love. And it's really for him, not just the idea of him.
So what I know now is that I'm not meant to marry at my age. I have time, God permitting, to just be with him and then worry about all that grown up stuff a little later. If it works out, I'll move in with him later. If he'll have me, I'll be his wife later. If we're ready to, I'll have his children later.
But things are great now.
What if all this time, I'd been in love with the idea of him instead of the actual person he is? What if I felt the way about him that so many had felt about me? What if he wasn't- isn't- the one?
After a day or two apart, I saw him for a short time, after our talk, and felt the little electricity in my spine I've felt so many times before with him. Watching him walk towards me, time slows, and it seems like I can't breathe until I can touch him. And I see him smile and I hear him laugh and talk and I realize how much I love him. And it's real love. And it's really for him, not just the idea of him.
So what I know now is that I'm not meant to marry at my age. I have time, God permitting, to just be with him and then worry about all that grown up stuff a little later. If it works out, I'll move in with him later. If he'll have me, I'll be his wife later. If we're ready to, I'll have his children later.
But things are great now.