The Time Traveller
I feel as though I've been living in a sort of stasis, a suspended animation of sorts for the past five years or so.
Of course time has passed. There was the boyfriend, the uni course(s), graduation, getting civilised and the penultimate honeymoon. I have progressed from being a hospitality muppet to an interior designer who works on a huge range of projects and gets to even run the odd project himself.
And this is where the trouble begins. I have become inept at guessing peoples ages as I still feel like in 22. True I certainly don't act 22 (and haven't in some time); I have become domestic but still feel like a poser, unsure and off balance. I see people as younger than they are because I don't particularly feel my age. There are moments when mortality strike, of course, but on the whole...
Brad and I are buying a new house. We have decided that after six years in the city it is time to claim a bit of earth, a bit of extra space and, in a sense, grow up. From 22 to 27 in a blink of an eye. All these milestones which I've mentioned have always been met with a 'well I guess this makes me a grown up' and yet it never quite hits home. How do you go from being a boy to being a man. I don't feel like a man, certainly not a boy, I guess I just feel like a guy.
Is it a sense of responsibility that sends us forward into adulthood? Bills and mortgages and healthcare and gym memberships, school, work, a career...? What happens if you don't own a house, if you dint move beyond a casual lifestyle? Are you less of an adult, less of a grown up than your peers (whether younger or older)?
Brad and I are embarking on mortgage number two, and looking to invest in another property next year, and possibly one the year after that. Money is a scary thing, seeing how much we wont have to live on for the next year is a little scary but it's time to do it - if we don't do it know how much more would we lose?
So now I am 27. Illegally married, almost onto my second mortgage, about to move out of my inner inner city apartment to, hopefully, an inner city / inner city fringe town house. A dog, a bike (don't need a car just yet), possibly a child in a few years.
Will I start travelling in sync with everyone else or am I destined to travel haphazardly through time. When do I start feeling like an adult? Perhaps this is just the Capricorn in me talking, wanting to climb all those mountaints and reach all those goals. I think the Sagittarian in me is quietly giddy, happy to hold onto that sense of youth as long as possible.
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