Oh sod it
You know what? I was really worried yesterday, and most of today, and basically I've been in an agitated state since I found out yesterday that the bill for my education was coming due at the end of the week. If I can't find work, if I can't get my loan checks in my account, if any one of a thousand things go wrong, I will doubtless be cast out of the country, return home, and be miserable for the rest of my life.
But you know what? I believe that I'm going to be okay. The loans will be mailed off and taken care of, I'll pay the bills a little late and the fees office won't mind (I know they won't because they told me so today when I hesitantly asked them what I was supposed to do), and I will of course find some sort of job even if it is just writing some freelance articles for food money.
I believe I'll be okay because I just watched the end of Spaced series two for maybe the third or fourth time, and that makes me believe in happy endings. Not because things will fall into my lap, because they won't, but because there's always a way out of any lousy situation, even if it involves stealing a tank. And yeah, there are about a hundred things in life I don't have a handle on, but I've actually made friends out here, and they're just as lost as I am when it comes to being a responsible person. I also still have friends back home with the same problem, people who I can talk to or pester or whatever, and so long as we all keep pestering one another we'll muddle through it all and sort it out somehow.
And sure, some things won't go quite like I've hoped. Some already haven't. But in the end, I'm pretty sure that it will have wound up making for a good story at least.
I'm going to go to bed now, and tomorrow I'm going to mail off my loan checks, and then I'm going to see if I can't con my way into a job. I might do some school work as well, and I might not.
We'll see. But it'll work out, and even if it doesn't, well, at least I have couches I can sleep on. And that's a rare gift for a man to have.
But you know what? I believe that I'm going to be okay. The loans will be mailed off and taken care of, I'll pay the bills a little late and the fees office won't mind (I know they won't because they told me so today when I hesitantly asked them what I was supposed to do), and I will of course find some sort of job even if it is just writing some freelance articles for food money.
I believe I'll be okay because I just watched the end of Spaced series two for maybe the third or fourth time, and that makes me believe in happy endings. Not because things will fall into my lap, because they won't, but because there's always a way out of any lousy situation, even if it involves stealing a tank. And yeah, there are about a hundred things in life I don't have a handle on, but I've actually made friends out here, and they're just as lost as I am when it comes to being a responsible person. I also still have friends back home with the same problem, people who I can talk to or pester or whatever, and so long as we all keep pestering one another we'll muddle through it all and sort it out somehow.
And sure, some things won't go quite like I've hoped. Some already haven't. But in the end, I'm pretty sure that it will have wound up making for a good story at least.
I'm going to go to bed now, and tomorrow I'm going to mail off my loan checks, and then I'm going to see if I can't con my way into a job. I might do some school work as well, and I might not.
We'll see. But it'll work out, and even if it doesn't, well, at least I have couches I can sleep on. And that's a rare gift for a man to have.